AIBU to refuse a bungalow when downsizing for our forever home?

Bungalows are just flats but with no upstairs or downstairs neighbours and with their own garden. Fabulous.

Though I agree that stairs help keep you healthy.

There is no reason to assume that all bungalows are "grannyish" inside. Many are modern and well-laid out. Plus, of course, there is a lot to be said for buying a doer-upper and getting it refurbished and redecorated to your own taste.

I live in a bungalow, have done for 14 years, dh was disabled, I'm early 40s now, neighbours both sides are early 30s, single guy across the road early 40s. YABU

Exactly. It's also a load of nonsense to suggest that you can't POSSIBLY have a 'forever home' in a rural area. There are 100s of 1000s of people who live in villages/live rurally, (about 10% of the UK population,) and have done for many decades and are still there at 75, 80, 85, 90 or even older.

Most rural areas have a little shop and public transport, and those that don't have community buses several times a week, pharmacies that deliver, supermarkets that deliver food and whatever else you need, and most people still drive when they are very old. And those who don't have friends, neighbours, and family who help out.

People who are unable to drive and feel insecure and worried living out in the sticks will never move there in the first place. But it's nonsense to say that you can't have your forever home in the countryside.

Having watched my in-laws amd my parents age all Id say is, if you want it to be your "forever" home and you've no reason to think you are going to die young, then a bungalow is a bloody good idea.

My in-laws have an almost bungalow - 3 steps down to the front door, 3 steps down from the back door to the garden. If only you know how much trouble those 6 steps have caused...

Bungalow sounds like a really good idea if you're downsizing to a home you intend growing old in.

I do know what you mean about the old person vibe but you can change that. Internally it's pretty easy to drastically change the look of place proving the window placement's are good. Externally takes a bit more vision, but not impossible at all.

He is unreasonable for insisting on a bungalow.
You are unreasonable for blanket refusing all bungalows.

I lived in a bungalow from the age of 4-18 and can understand why you’re reluctant to move to one, OP. We’re in our 60s and 70s and are in the process of moving but wouldn’t have considered a bungalow. But we both have completely different tastes in houses so I cAn understand your dilemma!

Could you compromise on an older 1930’s built bungalow? They often look very “cottagey” and have more character? I’m with you on the 1960’s or 70’s bungalows because I hate the proportions, low ceilings and those very wide windows.

@BillyBites Same with my dad and step mum. They have a gorgeous thatched cottage (bungalow I suppose) in the New Forest with plenty of fantastic neighbours who can help them if/when needed. Dad is 87 and SM is in her 70s but they still are out and about most days. The only issue is the garden is too big for them to manage now as Dad's mobility isn't great anymore but he has a fab mobility scooter that can go off road so doesn't stop them going for long walks in the forest.

Have you ever had an injury (hip, ankle, knee) where walking was agony, that lasted more than 3 months?
I know not all older people, but a massive number, do get permanent conditions like this.
And exercising/looking after yourself does not guarantee you won't be one of these people, so I would think carefully. Flats with lifts are obviously ok too. Stairmaster? Ok, but when you're alone, what if it breaks?

Many hospitals have huge catchment areas and don’t offer all services. I’d never ever choose somewhere to live based on a hospital I might never need. Rural living in a village is just as good as a town in many ways. Often plenty going on but think twice if driving is an issue. I’d live in a bungalow if it was fantastic with a decent garden and space.

Also, I’m 50 and DP is 53 - we’re not looking for our ‘forever home’ in the next move - I’m assuming and hoping we can manage somewhere rural, rambling or even with stairs for at least another 10-15 years.

Telling OP to consider a bungalow seems a bit pointless as she wants a cottage) farmhouse. I can understand that, I don't think it's realistic to expect your forever home to be a cottage in the countryside unless you are both very fortunate in the future health-wise. You could find something future proof in that if it had enough downstairs living space you live downstairs if need be. Or let go of the forever idea and go with your dream house for the next twenty/thirty years or so.
A cottage in the county side might not seem so appealing if you get health problems, struggle to maintain the garden, hedges, use the stairs and can't walk to the shops etc.
I can see why you don't want to settle and you quite possibly have visions in mind if country living with a beautiful home with pots by the door and wooden stairs etc you need talk to him some more, neither of you are wrong.

Agreed, in my 50s the only physical limitation I have is a permanent injury from a fall down a flight of stairs.

I do enough proper exercise that a few trips up and down at home each day is inconsequential.

Online shopping doesn't keep you company. Taxis are expensive and not always available when you need them.

We moved into a new build bungalow 2 years ago and absolutely love it. It has one big open plan living area that opens onto the garden and two really good sized bedrooms. There isn't anything grannyish about our bungalow.

Why are rural properties a bad idea for retirement? There's a lot of posters saying this. Surely as long as you are within reasonable distance to the nearest town/village and not in the middle of nowhere then taxis and online shopping are an option. Rural doesn't necessarily mean isolated.

And near a bus stop!

I live in a dorma. I was 43 when I bought it. I am very grateful as I have a large dog who's getting older and It's comforting to know she won't be struggling with stairs.
Having siad that you're not unreasonable to not move somewhere you won't like.

This ^

@SooPanda Spot on. Think about modernizing and how amazing one level living can be. I’d be doing a Grand Designs project!

Not this rubbish again! 🙄Some of us live in countries where what you call a "bungalow" is just a standard house and most of us live in them. Somehow we are still able to climb stairs if we need to and our fitness levels are fine.

We also don't injure or kill ourselves falling on the stairs we don't have!

Oh dear I’d better tell DH that we’re already elderly after buying a bungalow as our “forever home” in ours 30s…