AIBU to think 8.45pm is too early to expect quiet?

Op clearly stated that was in term time. Now it’s the holidays they stay up later.

I’d tell them to get a white noise machine for the babies room. I had light sleepers and these work a treat. Totally unreasonable to expect you to be quiet

Did posting that make you feel big?

Sorry neighbour, but the world can't tiptoe around your baby!

I am a mother to a four month old myself. They might be struggling with 4 month sleep regression, but it's not your problem.

Unless you are being unreasonably noisy, which I'm guessing you're not, I'm not sure what they can honestly expect.
They can't send you to bed along with their baby!

I'm honestly more worried about my baby disturbing the neighbours than the other way around. 😅

Any chance that the whole family could go away somewhere for a week - thus proving to the neighbours that it's not family noise that keeps the baby awake, they've just drawn the short straw with babies and got one that doesn't sleep?

YANBU

11 onwards

Sorry, it’s summer. People stay up/outside later.

If it's once every couple weeks summer only I think that's totally reasonable. Your son is allowed to have friends over, you aren't living in a monastery.

You BOUGHT your house, you didn’t brought it

Depends on the noise, as others have said.

What is the point of this thread if you aren't going to say whether its general family noise or your teen play drums and like to scream randomly and plays music at full volume with the bass on and has speakers against the wall.

It depends on what you are doing.
If you have loud music playing or are jumping around shouting then maybe tone it down. But if it’s normal household noise the neighbours can’t expect you to creep around whispering.

Depends entirely what sort of noise your household is making and how loud.

eg are your DS and friends playing music? If so how loud and how often is this happening?

I think some noise is fine in general until about 11pm. Not anti social blaring music really loudly or hitting a ball against a wall. But talking, background music etc all fine and normal part of life.

They are doing themselves no favours with their baby. It’s best they learn to sleep through all noise and not need dark and silence. We used to take DS1 to the pub and he’d happily sleep. And we’d have parties and he’d sleep through them. We didn’t tip toe around him.

Or maybe after a few weeks of noisy teenagers till quite late in the evening and many weeks of unsettled infant in this heat they're losing their minds and just thought they'd ask.
We still don't know what the actual noise is. If they're asking if the teenager can turn their music down in the garden at 8.45pm I don't think that's unreasonable.
The OP is a bit confusing because she says her older teen only has friends over every couple of weeks. So what noise are we talking about?

It depends on how noisy and how often tbh. It’s impossible to say.

In year 7, age 12, in bed by 21:00.

In year 10, age 15, in bed by 22:00.

In GCSE year, age 16, in bed by 23:00.

In 6th form, age 17+, free-for-all.

I think it really depends on what the 'noise ' is.

Talking in the garden or loud music playing? I don't think it's unreasonable at all to be chatting in your garden until 10pm really. But I wouldn't expect to be hearing loud music or screaming and shouting. That would be annoying. I wouldn't mind a one-off or very occasional loud music party either.

If it was a week one off, I might by sympathetic but you have at least a month of the summer holidays ahead and there’s no guarantee that the new baby will be a 12mth old or a toddler who sleeps well so will you then be expected to do the same forever more?

This. They sound very PFB. The world doesn’t around their child

They are not helping their baby by demanding silence . It is important that babies learn to sleep in noise. I wonder whether they are having PFB Syndrome.

I’ve never made people be quiet around my sleeping babies. Normal household and family noises. My dc3 slept in a carrycot by the front door. From 3-4m nothing woke him, not his siblings charging playing tag and yelling, not the doorbell, not feet thundering in the stairs - except my voice! He would wake the instant I spoke anywhere near him.

I think if it were me I'd be trying to work with the neighbours. Having a new baby is tough going and having a good relationship with your neighbours is also useful. I think I'd be considering things like are your kids upstairs with a group of their friends with a window open being noisy and playing music or gaming loudly/shouting etc which would easily carry through an adjoining wall? Could you compromise and have them use a downstairs space and keep windows closed for example so they can be as social but not immediately beside a baby's bedroom?

My next door neighbours have kids and I have to say they do seem to pay attention to when my wee ones blinds are shut because around then I do hear the mum saying to hers to keep the noise down.

I think it's good to teach your kids to be considerate of others anyway.

I think it depends on the noise, are you playing the drums or loud music or is it just normal household activities?

8.45pm must be the magic time because that’s when one neighbour turns on his angle grinder (every night like clockwork for the last few weeks…) and the attached neighbour’s kids start practising their trumpet and piano 🫠

My neighbours have 2 little ones, and we try to turn the noise down a bit 8.30/9 ish. They’ve never said anything but I know what it’s like to have little ones. That said if we had the family round we might be noisy until about 9. I think regardless of ages you should start turning it down (unless the odd party I’m talking day to day )

I just think it’s being considerate.

it really depends on what the noise is, loud music shouting a football bouncing, is different to just talking and laughing. They will regret if their child doesn’t get use to that.