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AIBU?

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AIBU to speak to his parents after these messages to my daughter?

412 replies

ittakesalongtimr · 18/07/2026 23:47

Can’t believe I’m writing this but desperate for some advice. DD14 was in a very brief relationship with a boy of 15. About a month. He came to our house a few times and seemed nice, we had a few chats and the same happened when DD when to his house. They go to school together. I don’t know the family at all.
They split up about 3 weeks ago, I’m still not sure why as DD didn’t tell me details but she was very upset for a few days. Hadn’t heard anything about the boy (I’ll call him Matt here) until today when her phone simply didn’t stop buzzing and she looked increasingly worried. She eventually told me tonight he has been messaging her telling her to jump off a bridge and kill herself, and added in messages about how old I am to be a mum of a teenager (not untrue but ouch) and that I’m cheating on my husband with (and then named a dad of someone in DD year). It’s nonsense but I’m upset this rumour has been started and more worryingly I’m upset that my DD received such vitriolic messages about killing herself. DD is adamant she doesn’t want me to speak to police, but I simply don’t feel comfortable doing nothing given I am also being brought into whatever vendetta this boy has. I wondered about going there tomorrow morning, calmly, to speak to his parents and let them know my concerns about the serious nature of the messages he’s sent. I would want to know if my daughter had sent the same kind of message as it feels a bridge too far from normal teenage tiff language.
I do not want to walk into an argument about our children or to try and involve them, but I do feel I need to do something, as it’s so serious that doing nothing feels like letting a bully walk away scot free.

Any advice? Am I being completely naive and this is the worst idea in the world?

OP posts:
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6
ILoveMyCaravan · 18/07/2026 23:58

100% police and quickly.

PollyBell · 18/07/2026 23:58

Report it to the police then block the number it is simple if you make it simple

rivalsbinge · 18/07/2026 23:56

Op I had similar situation and spoke to the police who took it very seriously and it was resolved very quickly, my DS was so nervous about our actions and begged me not too, but he’s since said he felt safe and protected and learnt to not take shit from people. You’ll be teaching your DD how to protect herself and her boundaries will be so strong based on your next steps.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 18/07/2026 23:55

Police.

Boreded · 18/07/2026 23:54

Police not parents.

Tryingtobenormal124 · 18/07/2026 23:54

Definitely the police. He's 15, knows exactly what he's doing. So sorry your daughter is going through this. Seriously needs police involvement for any further repercussions.

Oceanlife · 18/07/2026 23:51

Thank goodness he’s not her boyfriend anymore! Seems a bit extreme but yes I’d go to the police and ask them to do a welfare check and also tell his parents immediately. I’d want to know if my kid was in this state.

Sausagessss · 18/07/2026 23:51

Police, ASAP.

NuffSaidSam · 18/07/2026 23:51

I'd tell the school and the police. Don't get involved with the parents.

Is this the same one who was messaging about the football a few days ago?

eightyearslater · 18/07/2026 23:49

I would go to the police rather than go to his house if he is unstable. And it is a crime to encourage another person to mill themselves. This is awful OP. Good luck.

Blueyblueyblue · 18/07/2026 23:49

This needs reporting to the police. I’m so sorry this has happened, it’s vile.

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