AIBU to speak to his parents after these messages to my daughter?

Don’t tell the parents! Tell the police! I know your dd is scared to - I was in my 20s let alone teens! You need to make the adult decision for her. I regret not saying anything sooner.

You might be older but you are certainly also more wise.

Yes, Take details and shots of phone into local Police ... ASAP.

He must have been brought up by a toddler.

Police. You are the adult and you need to get on top of this. He’ll do it to her again or someone else. What a nasty little shit.

This is why 14 -15 year olds shouldn’t have snap chat or social media!

take the phone off her .

report to police

I know. I just had a kick from one of the poor, sad bastards as well, on another thread. Not that I'll give them the satisfaction of replying.

No, DD is a child. You are the adult here who is in charge of keeping here safe. Police ASAP.

Op, I had a similar situation with my DD and her “friend” recently. I told the mum straight away and she couldn’t have cared less. I ended up speaking to safeguarding at school and reporting it. It isn’t healthy behaviour (nothing to do with gaming) and needs addressing.

There will be a DSL monitoring an inbox.

This is a police issue and also school need to know. Do not ignore this.

The school is closed for six weeks, she needs to contact the police.

In that case speak to school, let them deal with it and tell them you are open to speaking to his parents

I would gently talk to dd, and tell her it’s very very likely that he will do this to other girls too, and they may not be like dd, and have nowhere to turn (and may become desperate enough or cornered enough to harm themselves) so the police have to know - to protect other girls. If you can frame it, that dd is safe but other girls might not be, that might be enough.

Has she seen adolescence?

Ultimately, whether she agrees or not, op you do need to tell the police, it’s too serious. You are the adult here, and he needs to be stopped.

I wouldn’t contact the other parents. The police will take care of it. They may not take it well coming from you, and could put pressure on you not to report to the police..

I imagine early intervention and even prevent will be deployed to address the underlying issues (It could be incel related or other on. Line material) This absolutely needs to be properly investigated.

No one is going to take any notice of made up rumours about an affair from a jilted teenage boy, I would give no further thought to that, but encouraging suicide is extremely serious, and can not be ignored.

I hope your dd is feeling better today. The school need to know in due course, before September. She would benefit from some counselling too. This hasn’t been a good experience for her at all. 💐

They absolutely can. Whether they are willing is a different story.

https://help.snapchat.com/hc/en-gb/articles/7012327251348-How-Snap-Inc-Works-with-Law-Enforcement

I have a teenage boy and would want to know, but what are the parents like? Are they rough? Would they be receptive?

I agree with pp about going to the police, even if she doesn’t want to.

Before I did so, I would have a good read back of all of her messages right to the beginning of their relationship. And I would try to get to the bottom of why they split up in a conversation with her tomorrow.

It’s possible that she hasn’t treated him very well whivh has been the catalyst for the messages, and why she doesn’t want to report. Although in that scenario I would still want to report the messages.

But, my concern would be that a boy sending messages like that also has the potential to have done something awful in real life, which caused the breakup. And the messages could be the tip of the iceberg.

You have have had good advice here but can I just council you to do nothing in haste. You very much need to protect your relationship with your daughter and I think you should revisit the conversation when she has had time to calm down and you can talk more sensibly. She will be in full flight mode, and understandably not want to immediately involve the police as she will be frightened of the consequences of that. You need to help her understand that this is a necessary course of action, but she needs to understand the why, and even if she doesn't completely agree, she at least needs to feel she has some input. You need her to trust your judgement on this, but you also need her to feel she can trust you, that you have her best interests at heart, and that she can tell you anything and know that you will find an answer together. Otherwise the next time something happens, she may not tell you about it at all.

No, they absolutely cannot.

I would also report this to the safeguarding lead at their school. They will be able to keep an eye on things and possibly keep them apart as well as knowing if there have been any other concerns.

Don't go to the parents plz. Straight to the police.

Police will not be able or willing to retrieve these messages.

She's a child. It doesn't matter whether she wants to go to the police or not, you as the adult make that decision.

You gave her a phone and you facilitated this relationshipin Now take responsibility for the harm that is being done to her.

Police can retrieve Snapchat messages. Teach your child about the seriousness of lying to police.

If any messages come in turn on your own phone and start recording before you read the message

Or just take photos of her screen with your phone when the messages are there

Google is not always correct. Listen to the people who deal with this every day.

This isn't true. Please stop with your incorrect advice.

I mean technically this is true, police can obtain an order to forensically examine a phone and restore deleted chats but they aren't going to do it just to retrieve alleged abusive messages that they haven't even seen any evidence of. That's absolutely not proportionate or a rational use of resources.