To be gently honest with DD 19 about her weight

Yes, medications prescribed by doctors they have actually seen face to face for a medical issue.
Does OP’s daughter even meet the criteria for buying WLIs online?

@Pandymoanymum but what has caused this big rise in obesity? Is it remotely possible that junk food and lack of exercise is the issue?
I was at school mid 60s- mid 70s and uou could count on one hand the amount of overweight children. As previously stated, even 20 years ago we didnt have a big problem

That’s her decision to make and she can come to it herself, not on the basis of the advice an internet stranger gives her mother.

Not a helpful post.
Food is an addiction for some. Just like drink or drugs. Losing weight is not as easy as you would like to think. Otherwise nobody would be fat.
I've always yo=yo'd from size 10 to a size 16. I'm quite tall to be fair.
I know I'm fat when I'm at my heaviest. Somebody telling me wouldn't help AT ALL. It would just push to comfort eat.

Only by people who don't know what they're talking about, to be fair.

Is it accessible for her? Not sure what the criteria is.

That's such a simplistic view. It's well recognised in the medical world now that obesity is a complex problem and all sorts of factors affect a person's ability to start and/or stick to exercise and healthy eating. There are often emotional and psychological factors at play, as is the case with the OP's daughter. Sometimes societal issues too- poverty, living in a "food desert" where there's little opportunity to buy fresh healthy food, poor education, no access to free healthy and enjoyable activities...all these things mean that it's hard, if not impossible to expect everyone to "just eat healthily and exercise"
So if there's a medication that helps people to overcome some of those barriers I don't see why it's wrong to use them as a tool. They don't replace healthy eating and exercise, they just make it easier for people to stick to it by reducing appetite and cravings.
Obesity is just one of several conditions that could be mitigated or reversed by exercise and healthy eating, yet time and again it's the only one that society gets all indignant about if the idea of having medical help to achieve it is raised. Nobody makes a fuss about type ii diabetics having medication to control their condition, nobody says people with painful arthritis in their hips and knees shouldn't be allowed painkillers...but if obesity is a major factor in both those conditions, why on earth is it wrong to use medication to help prevent obesity in the first place, but perfectly fine to let the NHS spend £millions on medications on a sticking plaster approach to control them, but do nothing to address the root cause?
There's a poster on this thread who has lost over ten stone on weight loss medication, and because she's lost weight that's enabled her do more exercise and opened up her life to a much healthier lifestyle. Even if she stays on that medication for years, she's going to be much healthier and thus costing the NHS far less in the long run than she would if she was being medicated for high BP, cholesterol, arthritis, diabetes, etc etc. She's also able to live a much happier, and normal life. I can't understand why using a medication to help achieve all this is seen as so wrong.

but you haven't addressed why she is unhappy enough to eat a junk diet?

I must say, I agree with this.
I’ve struggled with my weight during certain periods of my life, mostly in my late teens/ early twenties.
People keep saying ‘she knows she’s overweight, no need to mention it’, but in my case, even though I sort of knew it, I kept fooling myself that it won’t be so obvious to others (I went from size 10-12 to 18+ and back a few times).
My mum did mention it to me, gently but unambiguously. I certainly wasn’t happy about that, but it did help me face the reality and stop my weight gain from spiralling out of control.
What helped most in my case was exercise - walking, later running, occasionally gym.

My daughter put on lots of weight at 18, she knew it and was unhappy about it. I suggested both of us go to Weight Watchers, made a big difference in her eating choices. Yes, it helped and we are still friendly

I would tell her the truth if she asks me for it.

just wondering if your daughter has been recently medicated for her ADHD as many do cause weight gain @lifeinthemidlands

It’s good you know - is the longer term issue something she’s being helped with?

In terms of your original question I would just say something mild like “I’m not sure that outfit is the one”. She’ll know what you mean.

I’d probably say “Is it comfortable on? Or a bit tight? “
If she says it’s comfortable then I’d probably say it looks fine.
Which isn’t helping really but I’d be protective of her feelings first.
if she asked if it looked tight, then I’d be fairly honest and say it did a bit. And then ask about how comfortable it was.

The nature of the food we eat with unhealthy food made to be especially appealing to our brains ?

the nature of the stress we are under coupled with the availablity of cheap, high immediate reward food ?

Idk. My sister is overweight and complains about her weight, then stuffs her face full of chocolate. Tbh my empathy has run out— I simply say, if you’re that upset by your weight, stop eating 4 bars of chocolate a day, take your weight seriously and get counselling for the emotional overeating that you do.

but then she’s in her 40s and can probably hear that better than a very self conscious teenager.

My rule is if multiple things look bad I tell her. So for example “it’s a bit too short, looks tight round the back and that colours’s not the best on you”. Luckily my daughter has realised not everything looks great on everyone even if it’s trendy. She has a tiny waist and good boobs but chunky legs, and seems to have settled into a more boho look of long skirts / wide leg jeans and fitted tops which flatter her much more.

And if I love something I give her the money for it, half the time she’ll take the other stuff back for a refund!

Even 20 years ago obesity in Britain was not really prevalent. So what can have happened for it to have rocketed to the numbers we seem to have now?

I think she knows deep down but is in denial about her weight gain. She can clearly feel it in the way her clothes fit and is asking you about it.

if you keep pussy footing around it then I think the denial will only get worse.

if she asks a direct question be honest without being nasty.

It’s not easy is it. Buying some new summer clothes will help so she feels fashionable will help to improve her wellbeing.

Your DD knows she’s overweight. If she asked you if an outfit made her look fat then she knew that your response was likely going to be yes. You sound like you are a lovely mum who is trying to help your DD find solutions to the issues that have lead her to put weight on. I hope you’re successful.

I’ve always just said the truth about food, health and weight to my own daughters as my mother did to me. If you eat unhealthy food you will put on weight. If you don’t give your body what it needs to function then it will find it difficult to do things. If you don’t exercise your body it won’t be strong.

Nobody in my extended family is overweight but more importantly, nobody has issues around food. We like it, we enjoy it but it’s not the centre of everything. We’ve always just talked about it in the same way as we do other things.