AIBU to be upset by my partner talking about craving younger women?

I really feel for you-I had a similar conversation with my « boyfriend « who is 62. I’m 56. It’s very hard to get past. Personally I don’t fancy anyone younger than about 45.

Creepy & disrespectful

Flip the script.

Tell him you're craving a chiselled younger man before leaving him.

He sounds like a creep. You deserve better

Got a high opinion of himself. I am 40s and don't 'crave' (🤢) 60 year old creeps. You deserve better OP.

Being in my 50’s that comment would give me the ‘ick’ so rude & thoughtless. Would he have said it to undermine you? It seems a comment to put you down as perhaps he was feeling insecure. Either that or he is just thoughtless & rude. I would feel very differently after that comment about him. I think even if I stayed with him it’s one of those comments you can’t shake off. I wish you the best in your decision

He sounds like a creep tbh. He might “crave” younger women but I doubt very much they are craving him.

Ewwww- he sounds delightful…🥴.
it’s threads like these that reinforce my choice to be single in my late 50s.
OP - ditch him & spend time with your family / friends & live your best life.

Firstly big hugs. You must be torturing yourself mulling it all over. It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it and will be hurting your heart. I do think you can’t not truly make a decision until you have a serious conversation with him about how his comment has made you feel I mean how close you are to calling it a day. For me it wouldn’t be the thoughtless hurtful comment he has made that would determine where you go from here, it would be how he reacts in the aftermath of how his comment has made you feel that would determine where you go from here. (If that makes sense) xx

But yesterday evening - kind of out of nowhere when we were having a quick drink - he looked at me and said that he could really understand how men of his age can crave a younger women. I got really upset and told him to go home - he thinks I'm overreacting - am I?

The fact that he looked at you then said that would be hugely upsetting.

The fact he used the word "crave" is so offputting.

He might be a lovely helpful man who just makes the odd blunder when speaking his thoughts out loud, but I would find this hard to get past.

Forgive me if you”ve already addressed this, but have you really talked to him about how his comments make you feel? Asked him why he thinks it’s appropriate to voice such thoughts? Asked him what he thinks hie is actually saying?

How has he responded ? Why is he repeating the offences? Does he understand why all this matters?

I hope he's an ex already or at least very shortly. Life's too short to put up with that shit.

This an unnecessarily nasty post. So sharp and bitchy. No wonder@Frenchlady14 stepped away from the thread.
it's judgy and unhelpful.

Well, all men like younger women. But only horrible idiots would make an older woman they go out with feel less because they look the way they do, due to a natural ageing process

Maybe he thinks you are too good for him and he’s feeling insecure so makes himself feel better by putting you down indirectly.

He's a cruel insensitive idiot. You'd be happier on your own. Let him find the younger women don't want HIM.

at the very least he is rude and disrespectful. I would bin him off asap. You deserve better and can do better - tell him you’re doing it so he can fuck off and try and find himself a younger woman who is prepared to take on a worn out old man with a bad attitude and no respect for women.

Oh op.youre working very hard to,accept this. Thats going to kill whatever self esteem you have, which cant be much

yes you played it he was some sad loser desperate to be with you and you were this catch with a full life. Which totally contradicts the fact he insults you , tells you to your face he’s craving someone younger and still you’re trying to find a way to justify accepting it.

it won’t stop.

Don’t let posters goad you into rushing a decision. You are doing the right thing taking time to think things through.

Personally I would struggle to get past this, because fundamentally it was an unkind thing to say and I would be wondering about his motives, let alone if he was implying that I was some kind of second prize. But feelings are not subject to logic, and this is a long standing relationship, so difficult to unravel. People on this site just randomly say, get rid etc and then start picking on the OP, but life is not that clear cut, and I doubt the get rid people that proliferate this website are these ballsy, no nonsense women in their own lives.

If you do speak to him, you need to impress upon him how he has made you feel, and just how unnecessary and unkind it was.

Tell him to get on with it then.
What an arrogant prick!

What a complete prat with zero sensitivity. Does he think he is doing you a favour? Is this crass behaviour typical or is he usually OK enough to tolerate this lapse. Sounds as if he is feeling his age! Weigh up pros and cons and if too many cons tell him you realise you would like a younger man to play with and wish him a nice life!

Poor guy, the realisation is going to dawn on him that younger women generally don’t want to date men who are a lot older. In the meantime you should probably throw him back.

Tell him you understand how women look for men with larger "appendages" but learn to value the entire person.

(Yes, its one of those days with me I'm not tolerating men.)

I see in one of your posts that you say your daughter lives close by and you see her once a week and that “he looks after my daughter if she needs something doing in her flat”.
I’m sorry if this shocks and upsets you but had he seen her recently - is that who he ‘craves’?
After his horrible pervy comment I’d be watching how he behaves around her, how he looks at her etc as I wouldn’t be able to stop hearing his words.