AIBU to be upset by my partner talking about craving younger women?

Daft, deluded fool.

I was going to say something like this.

Realistically, a friend is someone who you have fun with and who you leave feeling good about yourself and the world around you. This guy isn’t a friend because you don’t feel good.

I’d imagine plenty of men in their sixties find younger women attractive (and some will crave them) it’s not unusual, and there’s probably research suggesting it fits certain evolutionary/biological patterns.
But saying it directly to you was incredibly tactless.
He’s either socially inept or deliberately trying to undermine you.

You’ll get a lot of Mumsnet posters calling it disgusting, but that’s mainly because socially adept men understand how inappropriate it is and don’t voice it.

I disagree. Attractiveness is so much more than just physical, and a woman who knows her own mind, has a vibrant personality, and sparkling intellect, is so much more interesting and attractive, whatever her age, than a person, who just happens to be younger. Being reduced to one's age is just another way of minmising women. And, the OP's partner is clearly doing that.

He should be your ex

You deserve better than him.Tell you crave a wonderful man who is caring and loving and while he is on his way out he can leave ny keys he has.

He is rebalancing the scales since he feels “one down” and that you have too much power over him with all your help with language/medical stuff. He love bombed and flattered you for a while but now he wants to bring you down a peg so you don’t get too uppity.

Dont get past it !
get rid and be free of him for good.

Of course he finds younger women more attractive, they are more attractive. Anybody who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

Sadly the dynamic seems to be younger women finding older men more attractive.

He could have kept his gob shut to stop him sounding like a perv... It's the word crave that did it for me... Dirty old man talk.

Bin him.

Never underestimate the confidence of a mediocre man 😎

I too think he's negging you. Watch out op you don't need this in your life !

He's not sounding any better. A drinker and a sleeze.

Nope. In the bin with him.

I'm the same age as you @Frenchlady14 I know I am not in the same shape I was but I am amazed at what my body has come through and love it for still being here as a result.

Don't let this pissweasel destroy your confidence.

Why can't you just look how you look for your age?? Why younger better prettier ?? Fuck this op get rid of him bit also work on changing your headset.

Ugh. The sheer arrogance and self regard of older men of that generation. I just couldn’t be with a misogynist in the first place. That is what he is. He objectifies and sexualises women to titillate himself. Letchy old fucker. Bin bin bin.

The first post nailed it, tbh. I hope you’re ok, and that you’ve made the decision to get rid of this horrible man - life is too short to be made to feel bad by anyone else.

Eh, no! He sounds awful. Let him go creep out someone else. And, his telling you you are beautiful every time he sees you sounds like overkill too. He doesn't sound very sincere.

Also, please tell him he can't have a 'mid-life crisis' in his 60s unless he is expecting to live to his 120s!

no need to insult people just because you are bitter. The OP's partner is being a dick, but it's not necessary to start insult "much younger women", is it.

OP sorry if this seems a bit harsh but from your last post he seems to regard you as some sort of secretary/carer. He’s mentioned this thing about younger women several times, but the last comment was really insulting - looking straight at you while saying he can understand the ‘craving’.

Apart from the fact that it’s insulting and hurtful, I would also be worried that he’s trying to condition you for when he either suggests it, or it happens. For that reason I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. You can do much better than this.

He knows exactly what hes doing, hes trying to chip away at your confidence so you accept his shitty behaviours and are too afraid to move on from him because he has you believing you're lucky to have him. As if he's some sort of prize😡

There's no room for this sort of behaviour in a loving relationship. You're supposed to build the person you love up, after all this is the person you've chosen to link yourself to and spend your time with.

If this is how hes behaving now while things are good and you're in good health I would seriously question how he'd behave if times got harder. He's shown you who he is and now you need to decide if you can trust him anymore. The loneliest place in the world is living with someone who doesnt care for you or respect you.

Protect yourself, this type of abuse is slow and steady. They start with small comments like this, gaslight you into believing its no big deal and then ramp it up, again and again, until you no longer recognise the person you're with.

Bleugh- the only reason a much younger woman might show interest in an over 60s letch is if he is minted. And even then is unlikely to want to end up as a carer for a much older partner. Men like this are deluded fools.

OP, this is a running theme not a one off remark.

You said you think you look okay for your age and I imagine you definitely do but I don't know why anyone feels they have to try and defy the aging process by looking younger than they do/or good for age. Our culture is obsessed with youth for some reason and any sign of aging is an instant flaw.

I am determined not to buy into this. I think it is a choice. Being attractive is a multi-faceted thing and personally I find my DH more attractive as he ages, not less, and I think we've both accepted we look like we're in our fifties but refuse to let that limit us in any way from enjoying life. It is a cultural perspective based on us buying products promising the elixir of youth. Don't listen to it.

I suspect a weekend without put downs about other women will make you feel ten years younger if nothing else!

🤣🤣🤣

I agree with this. Op is cleverer than him. He hasn't been able to get to grips with the local language, whereas she has. He needs her much more than she needs him. His knee jerk response is to put her down to make him feel more powerful and in control of things.

PetulaGordeno
I have a theory about this.
If Jean from Scunthorpe met her TV crush, 20 years younger, I am going with Idris Elba, she might ask for a selfie (if pushed), giggle about it later with her mates, and there would be some lighthearted banter about Jean running off with Idris.
But if Bob from Macclesfield met Rihanna, he would actually think he was in with a chance. Because Bob is delusional. He thinks his line of patter would attract the billionaire beauty from Barbados.
I have seen it in action.

@PetulaGordeno Yes, it's so true! This is exactly what happens. And we all silently think "silly old coot"