AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

I second getting in the wait list for Cubs, if your son is shy football might not be the best sport. It was great for our confident eldest but our shy youngest son enjoyed cubs much more and it’s a great chance to try a variety of activities.

My daughter volunteered at park run and all sorts of people take part, its not a race and you may enjoy it too, run by volunteers who are all lovely here. Its normal park run on a Saturday and Junior park run on a Sunday, but you can definitely join in. Also definitely recommend scouts( or is it beavers at that age), we waited a few months on a list and my daughter made all sorts of friends m & f, they do games nights, sports, cooking, community stuff, and some camps which are a damn sight cheaper than school trips! They also always ask for parent volunteers so could be a way for you to get involved.

You sound overwhelmed with it all but most people will be welcoming and youre doing your best for your son.

I absolutely second this!
Martial arts clubs are usually well run and offer taster sessions. Two of mine enjoyed Taekwondo and went all the way to black belt which takes years. I even joined myself with my youngest and also got a black belt and I am old. Neither of them were children that you would think would flourish at a martial art - especially my eldest who was shy and quiet but they loved it.
We did Taekwondo because there was a good club locally but could equally have done Karate etc.

My youngest tried football but didn't enjoy it. I would also think outside the box and look at a climbing club at a climbing wall, rowing or fencing. My youngest does fencing now and you borrow the kit so you're not spending a huge amount. Plus weapons - always fun. Football can be hard to get into as clubs are full.

That's a big reaction to a reasonable comment, OP.

Does it have to be a sporting activity? There are other sorts of things around, forest school type clubs, crafty things etc. with potentially lesspressue on having the right kit etc, if the sport is proving difficult.

What does your son like to do, what are his interests?

One of my sons has no interest in most arranged activities (he's 8). Not into team sports etc very active outdoors, so we have wonderful days in the woods or at the beach with friends, I usually do all the arranging for these and invite people along and he socialises that way, but that sort of thing is very much in my own comfort zone too.

I definitely do see things on social media and also you can use local groups to ask for suggestions which can be helpful.

OP I completely understand. As a single parent of a girl and boy myself. I found it difficult to join clubs like football and rugby etc. most kids had started young or there wasn’t a place at the club. I am confused why there is so much mockery on this thread.

I agree with @Phonicshaskilledmeoff .Also found the cricket and rugby clubs and parents more welcoming, especially the rugby lot.
I also think the park run for both of you would be a great idea.

I found it really hard to get my son a place on a football team so I get it. Football is weird and can be difficult if you don’t move in football circles (which I def do not)

generally speaking though, Facebook (and possibly instagram) are the best places to find info about activities. Don’t just look at sport, drama etc can be great for confidence. Martial arts good too.

I used to run kids extra curricular activities (not sport) and only ever advertised on facebook. There will probably be a “what’s on for kids” or similar group in your area

How good at sport are you personally?
If you're good then teach him. If you're not good I don't know why you're expecting him to be interested in or good at something you can't do yourself.

Some kids hate sport. Some like just free playing, running round using their imagination. As long as they get exercise that's all that matters.

Stop forcing things on him. Children of neither sex 'need' to be good at or interested in sport.

I mean you could get him into watching matches/games on tv or locally and that might naturally pique his interest.

But it might not and he's just not interested in that side of things. He might be more into art, science, the outdoors, music, or just having fun. He's only a little kid!

Ignore knob head type responses, this is AIBU and people are no doubt cranky in this heat 😁 I am anyway
I get you just want to get your kid into some classes, it can be hard, can't it.
Have you tried local FB groups, see if any clubs are advertising on there?
Or there's your local library if you have one, they're a great resource and will have details of local activities - or might even be putting some of their own on.
Check local sports centres too.
Does your child specifically want football? Worth looking at other clubs and stuff too if it's just to make friends.
Cubs, for example.
Just keep trying and chasing up in the meantime, as sometimes there can be waiting lists.

This is a bad time of year to just start, can you look to see if any clubs are running summer camps, that would be he best way to join now.

Good luck, he's very young and it will all fall into place

Firstly football coaches are like that! They are all intense so you are going to have to grow a thicker skin if your son wants to get into football.

for football, they I really need a football kit with the long socks, shin pads and boots, they aren’t allowed to play/train without shin pads on because of risk of injury: especially at 7 because they are likely training and then playing in competitive matches as well so they need to learn to tackle etc!

my sons play
football - it’s intensive and competitive now’s the time to join while they are sorting teams out for the winter league starting September: but as I say above it’s competitive and as much as they might tell you it’s all fun! They want to win and it can be harsh. My 10 year old had come off nearly crying today because they got beat and he got bollocked by the coach

cricket - love the cricket; most clubs are inclusive and at 7 the games are for fun, no score keeping, no outs etc if I was saying join a club this would be what I would advise - I also thought cricket was boring until my kids started playing and I needed to learn the rules

boxing - they do a boxing skill and circuit class twice a week and then my youngest (5) also does MMA; wresting and Maui Thai: just to give you some ideas of what else is out there

The football coach was a dick, I do a bit of volunteer coaching in a couple of sports and I hope no-one at either of our clubs would treat a new parent that way.

Football (one of my kids plays) seems quite difficult to find a good fit even early on, and gets competitive quite quickly. Rugby union tends to be a bit more relaxed for the younger kids and certainly where I coach we try and be really friendly and inclusive, and lots of parents aren't very familiar with rugby so it's our role to take them on that journey too.

It's off season for sports like rugby so there may not be much going on, but cricket is going on and might be worth checking out? Generally rugby and cricket will be attached to clubs with adults teams, so the bit for kids (mini and juniors) will be part of a bigger set up, if you are trying to find contact details.

My kids have also loved things like parkrun and indoor climbing, which are really friendly and inclusive. Beavers (we didn't make it to cubs because our group folded) was great too.

Do you know other parents at school? Worth asking them what their kids are doing and enjoying, and where.

Registration can be three months before. Look now for swimming over the winter. Maybe also something fun like trampolining.

If I wasn't getting a response, I would go half an hour before and speak with the trainers to see how to join. It is what you did with the football and if he can be there next week with the right kit sounds good - well done! Plus really don't be worried, if others have said he is like that with everyone just ignore it as long as he is okay with the kids.

I would feel overwhelmed too. I’m glad my husband deals with it. I find that football is really bizarre and clicky. Also many seem to have no issue with not letting the less good players play or join in. I’m glad I don’t have footballers.

Alwasy found cricket and rugby to be better., get in touch with your cricket club to find out about junior cricket next year. Many clubs specifically run sessions for complete beginners and they get kit and a bat and ball included in the sign up. It’s called all stars for the young ones or dynamos for 8+.

Rugby clubs will be going through sign ups at the moment ready for September.

I'd say Beavers/Cubs are perfect for this, they really help build kids' confidence. A real variety of activities in a supportive atmosphere. Other things I've heard are good are kids theatre, dance camps, gymnastics, cricket etc. It definitely doesn't have to be football particularly if he's not that interested.

So sorry you have had a tough start with football, OP. Apologies if I have missed this information but what is DS into? Does he like football? If not, I think you might be better choosing something that plays to his strengths and interests. I can second putting his name down for cubs. Lots of things will be full but put his name down anyway.

Secondly, do you have 'mum' friends with kids his age? That can also be a really good way to make friends and to find support for you in navigating extra curricular activities. You sound like some social support would be in order. Parenting is tricky at times and is equally best approached as a group activity. You don't need to think of all the things yourself.

I think you sound like a really great mum. Sport is important for lots of reasons so don't be put off.
One of my son's wasn't great at football and just by chance someone mentioned rugby to me. It isn't contact when they're young - just tag or touch. There are lots of different positions and generally a place in a team for all abilities.
It has been life changing for my son. He's enjoyed it so much and now does some coaching.
Sorry, all this ramble to say that football is not the only sport!

It can be so overwhelming getting them into something! My son is 11 and I honestly really regret not getting him into a football club at that age. At the time, he wasn't massively bothered and we let him try other sports. He really wants to play now but we're struggling now to find a team for him to join, they're all established and more experienced at this stage. At the moment it feels like he's missed the boat, he did Kung Fu for four years, and is now really getting into tennis, but I so wish we'd just taken him along a few years ago.

It's a shame the coach behaved like that but it's definitely worth just getting the correct kit and taking him back next week. Is there a football fun factory franchise near you? My two both did this, too, and it was good for skill development.

I get that, OP, but try to keep your calm about it. I had a timid mother who had never really had friends or any physical confidence, and was absolutely desperate for a sporty daughter who was the life and soul of the party. This meant she was simultaneously frantically throwing me into stuff in which I had no interest and trying to force friendships but at the same time modelling for me that she thought the world was a scary place, that sports were hard and likely to involve people laughing at you, and that other people couldn’t be trusted.

By all means find your DS out of school activities he enjoys. But what you’re modelling further him in terms of friendships, confidence etc is every bit as important.

Has your son expressed a preference for any sport? If he is quite shy and is thrown into a team sport he doesn't enjoy, that won't help his confidence. Maybe have a conversation with him to see what he wants to do, sport is not for everyone.

google won’t easily find you what you want. Local Facebook groups where you can ask for recommendations will. Can post anonymously. Or class what’s app.

The sports coach was rude.. are there kids from your son's class in the group? Otherwise I might think about looking elsewhere...

Where we live, getting into some clubs is quite a challenge, turning up on the right day at the start of the season to sign up but finding when, where and who to contact is not easy!

And ignore the people saying her did not start when he was a toddler, all the clubs will be full.

What does he want to do, if he is keen to start football then maybe find him a summer camp over the holidays, google the clubs in the area and keep going .. sports direct for socks, shin pads and then depending on the surface he plays on he will need either indoor, astro or grass football boots.

If he doesn't know what sport he wants to do, see if there is a multi sports camp near you.

It takes stepping outside of your comfort zone but do.. ask people who are standing around .. tell them you are new, your son is 7 years old and who should you speak to..

I have vivid memories of this for my kids... not easy.. walking along saying to my son, I know you are nervous and I don't know who / what / where.. but I am with you and we will work this out together. Honestly.. some of the clubs where quite hard, and some were lovely. Keep talking to the other parents dropping off, watching or picking up. You will find somewhere that you are both comfortable.

You’re nowhere near failing him !!!

with my oldest I had no clue either , it’s complex stuff !

tell us where you are roughly, I ll find you football clubs lovely

FYi sometimes they build proper local football teams (they compete with other local ones on Sundays ).. but sometimes they have development programs

both super beneficial and it’s not too late for your son to join

and no you don’t t need to be on social media … if you don’t mind telling us where you are we ll help

Sure, but the coach whose team the OP wants her son in has a different policy about shin pads. Many leagues won’t let a child play a match without them so coaches insist on them being worn to all training sessions too.