AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

The football coach sounds like a bit of a bully so may not be the best bet for a shy child. Might be worth looking for other football clubs.

FWIW, I had an extremely shy child. I tried to encourage clubs and outside interests, with limited success. She's now an adult and still quite shy but actually quietly contented with her life. I look back and wish I'd realised sooner that her shyness wasn't a lack of confidence but, rather, her natural introversion - and that being an introvert is ok.

Be kind to yourself, OP. It's bloody hard going it alone as a parent. Sounds like you're doing a great job.

There's constant adverts all over our local FB page for sports clubs and activities for kids. Too many darned adverts actually!

For a child who's very shy, team sports might not be his thing anyway. Maybe try something else instead like a musical instrument, horse riding, cubs, or an after-school art club, something like that.

This time of year is when they are finishing for the summer holidays anyway, and won't begin again until the Autumn term starts.

He could try hockey ? Our club (Surrey/Hampshire border) would be so welcoming as I’m sure any hockey club would. Sometimes football can be a bit intimidating if it’s a ‘new’ sport for an older child as most will have played it since they were tiny. We get lots of kids who are new to hockey at any age and they pick it up quickly !

Cricket and rugby have much better family friendly communities in my experience.

Try martial arts? There’s usually plenty of clubs with spaces, also trampolining?

I know that's not quite what you're asking, but one way to also help a shier child to improve his friendships is to arrange lots of playdates with different classmates so he can build connections 121 then it's easier to engage with those kids on a busier school setting. Since it's summer, you can find holiday clubs through school and that will also help him. Some are sport focused. I know many recommended martial arts, tennis etc but if shyness and friendship is why you are looking for sports, I'd recommend sticking to team sports like football, rugby, basketball. Try to book them through school from September as they must do lots of afterschool clubs like that.

My son loved rugby, they were really inclusive and there's space on the team for all shapes and sizes. They usually do intro sessions at the beginning of September.

You might also find summer sport sessions at the local leisure centre, that might give him an idea about what he'd like.

You are not failing him, he has years ahead of him to find an activity / sport / hobby he loves!

For football, most clubs will run an introduction session for younger players / players not in teams. from there he can move into a team if he wants to. You can contact your local FA for a list of clubs. I do see a lot of advertisements of teams looking for players / sessions on facebook - so might be worth setting up a throw away account.

He will need football socks, shin pads and ideally some boots. We often pick up boots from Vinted for very cheap.

I have 2 really sporty teen / tweens now but at 7 they pretty much just did school sports clubs after school, and went to a Saturday morning fun athletics group. At 8 they started at a surf life saving club (big thing down here in Cornwall), and also started doing other sports they liked the look of - some they have carried on and excelled in, and others they drifted away from (even though they were competing at a regional level and on a pathway to national). The key thing is to find out what things he thinks he will enjoy and be prepared for a few false starts, as he finds his thing. Social media (Facebook) is really helpful for finding fun and friendly clubs. If he fancies rugby or athletics you can usually find rugby club contact details on their websites (for example your local town will have a rugby club and highly likely to have a junior section). With athletics, pop into the nearest leisure centres and ask there for contact details of athletics clubs. If hems dead set on football, ask on local Facebook pages for your area to get recommendations of teams with spaces .

Football bloke sounds like an utter twat. I'm sure there would be spare kit so your lad could have had a go.

I'm a Dad & I wouldn't have thought about the shin pads or long socks either. Don't beat yourself up about it. Tho if he have shouted at me I'd have lamped him so probably best I wasn't in your shoes!

I have same age kid but girl, so I'm equally in a world I don't know much about, Ballet & gymnastics etc.

Mine has been a bit of a struggle doing sports I think are essential kid skills of swimming & cycling, bit of perseverance on both sides and she's competent with both.

She's not too keen on the boxing & unfortunately is a clash with Judo.

I consider a self defence utterly essential for girls so maybe swimming will have to get relegated now she's at an ok level.

Mines has Rainbows/Brownies. Maybe Beavers/Cubs for yours? Mine loves it & I loved cubs & scouts as a nipper

Chin up tho, it's tough being a single parent.

Football is difficult to get in to unless you start young. My DS has been playing since he was 5 (now 9) and spaces don’t come up very often. There’s more football academies popping up though where you can train, but not be in a team for matches etc. pro football academy is one such company that has places across the company.

social media is also the easiest way to find clubs with spaces. Can you crate a Facebook account just for this reason? There’s a page for example in my area where players and clubs post what spaces they have.

I’m sorry if this is a repeat, theres a lot of responses here so I’m sure you’ve had some good advise.
I just wanted to say, my son is 7 he’s tried a lot of sports, he’s loves football, obviously, but I’ve found Rugby is the best. Rugby clubs are much more friendly and welcoming than football for the junior section. Might be one to try out.

I can imagine being shouted at was really upsetting, it was nice of some of the mums to come over and reassure you though. Try to go back there with the right equipment?

You sound overwhelmed, and that’s understandable. You’ve received some good advice. I hope you get sorted.

Most sports, even grass root sports need basics. So yes, for football they do have to have socks and shin pads.

Your best bet would be to post on your local Facebook groups and see who responds to you, as they be actively recruiting.

Of course there is football, but you also have tennis, badminton, athletics, swimming, rugby, hockey, martial arts, gymnastics, park runs, cricket.... so many! Then you have things like art clubs, computer clubs, coding, Chinese school etc.

What does your son fancy trying? What's he into?

Honestly i think football is shockingly organised where we are. Unless you know someone who goes, you never get a reply ot any answers to anything. Even when you are in organisation is so bad

Just get him the socks and shin pads and go back. You need to harden up to be a football mum to be honest.

I wouldn't go back then, absolutely would not put any child in the care of a coach who shouts and is known for being like that. As others say, try Fb pages for local recommended clubs

@Worklifebal google your local football club and search community sports/juniors. Most football clubs run mini sessions for all levels. The leisure and amenity sectuon of your local authority shpuld also be able to provide you with information.

Good luck.

What? The coach from a kids football grass roots team yelled at you? This my friend is not where you want your kid to learn sport. After school clubs are great sign him up for those. Yes Google and you’ll come up with your local teams for all kinds of sport. Try a few things they all let you come for a trial. Basketball,Tae Kwondo, Hockey the listens endless.
No decent club would speak to you like that. But don’t stress about it and if you find something he likes great if not he’ll eventually find his tribe. My son had a horrible experience with crap coaches in primary and chose hockey over football at secondary and loves it.

I’ve had 2 boys go through youth football from a young age, and honestly, if the coach spoke to me like that, then I’m not sure I’d want my son playing for him. Nothing wrong with what he said, but there’s a reasonable way to get your message across. Can you imagine what he’s like when it gets to match day!

There will be lots of local teams and at age 7, they’re unlikely to be established and will be on the lookout for new players. If you ask on Facebook, I’m sure you’ll get a few responses.
Good luck, you sound like you’re doing a great job 👏

Google if you have a local BMX club near you. Ours does a weekly free session where you borrow bikes and helmets. My sons is addicted now and does the paid training too. He’s making loads of friends

I would not want my child involved in a team where the coach shouts at the parents - imagine what he’s like with the kids!
My son was big into sport but I’m not sure if we did anything at that age other than ball skills type thing. He did rugby from age 9. We just googled it and there was info on the website. He also rowed for a couple years as a teen. He started football but said the coaches swore a lot and the kids weren’t nice so stopped that. He did running club for a while too.
Hes 22 now and plays footie Monday nights just casually. He does kickboxing another couple nights which is more organised and structured.
I think you just need to research more. Unless you’re in the sticks there should be more than one choice.
To add, my DH passed away when my son was six. I did all the toing and froing.

I'd suggest junior parkrun and cubs. And swimming if he hasn't learnt already.

Football is a massive commitment - training and matches every week and the season doesn't seem to end anymore (I still see people training when I do my outdoor fitness class, whereas we did get mid May to late August off when ds was playing). And although the mums might have been nice - the coach showed you what he's like. If your son fancies football there might be summer camps he can do instead.

I don't understand what having no dad has got to do with anything? I've found rugby and football clubs for both my sons and I have a very capable sporty husband who has played sports for donkeys years, I dont get why you think a man would be more capable of messaging/ringing a few clubs or asking on the school class chat? Bizarre.

Is your child even asking to take up a sport? Unless they are keen I really wouldn't bother, the hassle of taking them every single week (bad enough with 2 parents) if you have to take them everytime think wisely do I want to spend my evenings/weekends sat watching my kid play sport in all weathers? Our kids do rugby, football, swimming, tennis and dance, it's a lot.

Firstly does your son want to do this.
Neither of mine were interested in team sports until after they left secondary.
Now between the two of them they golf, play field and ice hockey, had a go at 5 a side and have started with padle.(paddle?, not sure)

If yes put a message out on your town Facebook page if they know any team that wants beginners In September.
Put a message asking the same on your socials.

If he doesn't what about cubs?
Mine 2 went throgh the scouts system from beavers to Explorers snd fid a couple of voluntary years.
Dont force things, it'll only back fire on you.

Honestly, if this was his approach to a new potential team member (or mum of), I wouldn't take your ds back there, there are usually plenty of junior football teams.
There are some shitty junior football coaches about who actually harm the confidence of kids, he sounds like one