AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

Please tell me you’re not taking him back there!!

My sons’ Jujitsu sensei could shout - but only when they were being disruptive, and never at the parents! I’d steer well clear of that!!

I’s start with Beavers (pre-Cubs). If there are t any places get on a waiting list for Cubs. The website should show you where your local packs are - often in Church halls. Beavers are for for 6-8 year olds, Cubs 8-10. Lots of activities and challenges and usually a summer camp, or at least a day camp and maybe an overnight. My Church’s Beavers do an overnight actually in the Church Hall where they meet every week so where they all know where the toilets are! Cubs do at least one weekend camp each summer.

Swimming lessons I’d also prioritise.

Neither of mine did football outside school PE lessons. To be honest it was far more pleasant watching jujitsu inside a sports hall than freezing or getting soaked on the edge of a football pitch.

A lot of places should be running multi sports summer clubs so he could try several things. Just Google your local area.

Sounds like you are nearly there with a football club, once you have the socks and shin pads. I wouldn't see that as the disaster that you are making it.

Try the local rugby club too, which you can find on Google. In my experience they are much more welcoming (due to a smaller pool of players). Cheap too. DS's costs about £90 per year for all training, tournaments and loan of a shirt for the year.

Yes, tap maybe, or street dance? Balance, co-ordination, rhythm, musicality, actual fun - and it is personal advancement and improvement that doesn't rely on being picked for (or dropped by) a team run by a favouritism-showing despot. And you don't have to stand outdoors for hours in all weathers watching them do it.😁

Extra-curricular activities don't have to be sports-related.

Could you have a kick around yourself with your son. Or if you have a neighbour with kids ask if they want to go for a kick around in the park??

Don’t worry at all OP, I wouldn’t have known this either. Can you go back to that football club next week (or after it starts again after the summer, Inthink football sometimes stops in summer?) with the right kit and see if he will let your son join?

It’s always hard when something is new but don’t feel bad, you will find something for him.

Too late for this year but both of mine have done cricket through All Stars, kit provided.

https://www.ecb.co.uk/play/all-stars

Also did an introduction to tennis over 12 weeks, not sure if it still runs but it was through LTA

https://www.lta.org.uk/

Both are national programs delivered by local clubs. Scouts is also great for kids building friendships.

Definitely try a different sport than football.I rarely hear positive things about it, even the parents I know who endure it find it hard going. If it's not the coach, it's the team playing time or the parents or the kids are cliquey.... It is such an accessible sport but there is something definitely wrong with the culture of it

I agree. My ds had a much better time with athletics (and cubs/scouts).

Definitely try a different sport than football.
I rarely hear positive things about it, even the parents I know who endure it find it hard going. If it's not the coach, it's the team playing time or the parents or the kids are cliquey.... It is such an accessible sport but there is something definitely wrong with the culture of it.

I'm sure some love it but if your son isn't absolutely desperate to play, try something else. Rugby, cricket, martial arts - all sports I've had really positive experience with for my kids. BMX if you have a club nearby is also super friendly and inclusive in my experience. Have you considered beavers /cubs? They introduce so many new activities, that might give him an idea of what he might like to try?

It's a bit disheartening to have such negative experiences, I get why you are upset but I hope you find something that suits you both. Being part of a club that is well run and friendly makes a world of difference and can really give you a great social circle too.

Where abouts are you based? If you look up 2-3 local sports clubs and drop them a note, I am sure you will get a response. For football, you can also look at https://littleleaguefootball.uk/ - that is for all ages and abilities - my son started when he was 6 and loves it.

Agree, it’s non negotiable for our dc. I didn’t think ds2 was sporty and he chatted with a friend for most of his first year of football but is now a useful committed team member.

I totally agree as a (very unsporty) parent of a very sporty kid. Sport is hugely important for kids and many of the threads you read about depressed teens spending all their time gaming in their rooms can be alleviated by getting them into sports at an early age.

Well done OP and don't give up. You'll definitely find a club to suit your son.

My kids aren't that age yet so I have no useful advice for OP (good luck though!) but I'm surprised at all the comments saying who cares, sport isn't essential, my son hated football etc. All children should be given the opportunity and gift of sports exposure, both the physical exercise and the team culture (in a broad sense - I know many people who have strong relationships from running buddies, sparring partners etc as well as traditional team sports).

It's irrelevant to say your kid hated sports - I myself wasn't tremendously keen as a teenager. OP's son hasn't even had a chance yet!

Good luck OP you are doing a great thing for your son, please don't give up. 7 is in no way too late.

Hi OP my rather shy DD loved tennis. Is there a club near you? They often do really fun junior coaching, they will usually have spare rackets and often do the holiday clubs which are a lot of fun. Silly games to build skills. As a lone parent of many years I understand the mental load and the small things that feel like they break you but you are doing amazing.

All sports have a national body that can direct you to local clubs. Eg for football that would would be the FA (football association). Look up the websites for the sports....For example here is England's Hockey https://www.englandhockey.co.uk/
The clubs are often run by volunteers so they don't respond in a timely way. It just needs a bit of perseverance. Emails will help and they should give guidance on what kit.
Swallow your pride and go back to football. BUT if ds is shy then it might not be the right club. Shouty twats rarely get the best out of kids. We've found that the right culture and approach in the clubs our kids went to far more important than how competitive they were

I'm really sorry the football guy shouted at you in front of other people. I'd personally consider that to be a huge warning sign that he doesn't have the right mentality to coach young people in a supportive fashion, and if that's within a club environment, that the club isn't on top on this side of things either. Are there other football clubs in the area you could try?

For long term development - if you want your son to arrive in adulthood as a versatile adult who has a good chance of picking up any sport they like and having the physical basics to enjoy it, try to include different categories of sports. This can be done over a longer time frame - not all at once. The different categories and some examples are:

• Object manipulation / hand-eye coordination (football, tennis, basketball, hockey);
• Endurance (running - parkrun is perfect for a 7 year old, cycling, swimming, rowing);
• Body control (gymnastics, martial arts, dance, parkour);
• Sliding / gliding (skateboarding, rollerskating, skiing, skating);
• Swimming (gets it own category - breath control, full body coordination, and for safety)
• Throwing, jumping, sprinting (athletics, rugby)
• Combat (judo, karate, fencing, wrestling)
• Team games (rugby, football, basketball, hockey)

Age 6-12 is a brilliant window to build the basics of good long-term movement, so you're doing a great thing for him in looking to get sport and movement as part of his life now. A mix that includes, say: parkrun; one of football / rugby / cricket / hockey; swimming; plus a bit of casual skateboarding and maybe table tennis (do you have a local park with a table he can play at with his friends?), and perhaps add / swap in a martial art in a few years' time, would make a excellent base from which he would be able to try and to enjoy other sports when he's older, as he'll have developed the basic patterns of movement which makes everything easier later on.

Is this the only available football club? I wouldn't be going back unless there is no other option. The coach could have suggested you both stay and watch, yelling at you is not acceptable in my book and I wouldn't want my child being around someone so lacking in empathy as to how you, and your son, might feel.

I do agree that sport is a good thing for kids to get into, as long as they want to of course. It teaches them good life lessons.

Exactly. There's ways of saying things. I manage a rugby team and we sometimes get girls turn up on spec wearing inappropriate kit so we cant include them in that session. I would just explain to the parents that they need boots (because ground is like the Somme) and a mouthguard, get their number to follow up with them, and invite them to stay to watch. It's not hard to be nice when someone has put themselves out of their comfort zone.

rugby was also great for my ds, much more inclusive

what about drama club
scouts
gymnastics

She is looking for a male role model for her son. A man who speaks to someone like a piece of shit the first time they meet them, embarrasses them in front of other people and in general is rude and nasty, is not someone I would want my son taking notes from.

Is he keen on sports or are you pushing it because you think it’s what boys should do? My DS is the same age and has never been remotely interested in sports so he goes to Beavers.

My son detested football. He loved his books, puzzles and science experiments.

Now sixteen, he's developing codes and apps.

If you have a dance/ballet contact why not just sign him up to start dance?

Well I can tell you one thing OP, if someone shouted at me like that in front of my child for making a innocent mistake, I would be telling him to shove his football up his arse! If he is like that to another adult, I wouldn’t be wanting my child around him. He sounds like a complete dickhead. Probably someone whose parents kept telling him he was going to be the next David Beckham as a child when he was absolutely rubbish and now he likes to walk around thinking he is very important because he coaches a child’s football team. You see them everywhere where football is concerned! There will be other football teams with better coaches.

Theres also junior park runs, swimming, martial arts, gymnastics, beavers, tennis, rugby. It doesn’t automatically have to be football.