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AIBU?

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Child not invited to parties because “I don’t talk to parents”

306 replies

Ladyoftheapple · 10/07/2026 23:08

My daughter is 8, she has three close friends in school, two of which are boys. One of these boys has had birthday parties and invited the close knit friends but my daughter has been excluded.

Today, my daughter has come home and said her best friend has said she is going to another boy in the class’s party. My daughter has said she hasn’t been invited but her best friend has then said to her that she hasn’t been invited because “her Mummy doesn’t talk to their parents”. She also said she spoke to her other best boy friend and he said the reason that she wasn’t invited was because his parents chose who came.

To be honest, I am a drop and run kind of parent and so is my Husband. I am terrible at small talk and I don’t want to be stood at the school gates gossiping. Is this on me? I feel it’s really unfair on my daughter that she is being excluded from her best friends parties because of her parents opinions of me 😳

OP posts:
RVectensian · 10/07/2026 23:16

What makes you think that all parents who chat are standing around gossiping? You're placing very negative connotations on very normal social behaviour, perhaps your feelings of superiority are more obvious than you'd assumed?

Enrichetta · 10/07/2026 23:15

There is a middle ground between being standoffish and gossiping. Small talk is an essential skill that can be learnt.

SkippitySkoppity · 10/07/2026 23:14

It sounds shitty for her to be excluded for this reason but if a bit of school-gate smiling and small talk is what the social norms require I think you just need to suck it up for her sake.

DelurkingAJ · 10/07/2026 23:14

We had this, from a parent who was happy to bring their DC to a party at our home. I didn’t know them because I work and a CM dropped DS to school. It was blooming upsetting at the time but DS has long since forgotten. I thought it was pretty small minded from someone who I chatted to when I saw them and who rather went on about how well our DC played together.

WisdomBiscuit · 10/07/2026 23:12

People that appear friendly will naturally have more people want to spend time with them/near them.

You don’t have to gossip, just be friendly and maybe strike up a small conversation every now and then.

ofcolitas · 10/07/2026 23:11

Another one here terrible at small talk but I did try to make an effort at the school gate to chat politely to other parents, if only to oil the social wheels. It's the way things work in our culture really.

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