Why do you hate the PTA?

I joined the PTA for 2 years and my fellow PTA parents were lovely and tried their best.
we got criticised by parents who didn’t want to volunteer for things and then expected extra stalls to be delivered & manned. I also worked full time as did the majority of the parents.

Largely we did our best. Most of which was appreciated by parents and students alike. We tried to make good enrichment decisions about the money raised and the head had a large input into things too. It was hard work too but worth it.

@trotterstrot100% this

Ours constantly look for money for something and they are really cliquey. They asked for volunteers all the time and one time I volunteered to write bids for funding (which is closely aligned to what I do for a living). I completed one bid and was never invited to the funding meetings again and they later asked for volunteers to write funding bids. I think it’s because I’m not in their clique. They also try and take over events that are organised by the school and nothing to do with the pta (reserving front row seats at the nativity, giving a speech at the p7 leavers assembly).

Yes this is true. Even volunteers. I think at both discos i volunteered at, there was 95% women.

But this is a point many of us are making. Many of us would prefer to and be willing to give money, but we are time poor and get attitude because of it.

I detest women taking on additional mental labour. I hate women - often with jobs/careers/also running their family’s entire mental load - chasing their tails at the end of year doing teacher gifts and various shite.
show me a PTA with 50% dads in it.

Personally for me it was the attitude of the Chair person. I used to be on the PTA, but he was really a horrible human. He was on the PTA as a mechanism to have 'power' over others, did not seem to understand it was a voluntary role, tried to manage those who were on the committee like they were his employees, make demands with unrealistic time scales (wanted things done immediately), talk down to people regularly etc. I left as soon as I could once I saw who he really was, I hadn't known him before.

So it wasn't the PTA per se, or most of the people involved, but the one person who wanted to lead it. Unfortunately I do think PTA's can easily attract that sort of person as Chair, as it is a voluntary role and most struggle with time. So those that step forward don't always do so for the right reasons. I wasn't in a position to be Chair, just didn't have the time. But tried to help when I could and just felt like he treated me like crap as a volunteer and absolutely didn't have to put up with it! He didn't like when I stood my ground either!!!

I am sure plenty of PTA's can be absolutely fine, as long as you have a nice, genuine group of people involved, and don't allow power hungry dictators to take charge!

Our PTA is ok, though I recognise a lot of the negative stereotypes from some of the people in it. In terms of constructive advice, be ruthlessly focused on equity and recognise you have no idea what’s going on in other people’s lives and families. Someone up thread said ‘it’s no trouble adding an extra Mr Kipling to your shop’ - for some families in our catchment they wouldn’t have that money. Some wouldn’t have the mindspace to remember this among all their other responsibilities. Some are caring for sick parents, some for mentally ill kids, some are in abusive relationships and trying to work out how to get out of them, some are overworked single parents whose kids depend entirely on their income, some have spouses with terminal illness. Never assume if something’s easy for you it will be for others, be grateful for any support, and be transparent how the money you raise is helping fund experiences and materials for everyone. If you’re doing this for the community, people will see that and respect you for it. If you’re doing it because you get a rush out of feeling like a ‘better’, more engaged parent than other people, likewise it’s easy to see that.

It's absolutely not everyone. But they do seem to attract a certain, highly annoying 'type'.

I volunteered to sell tickets to the school fund raiser fireworks show one year. I was standing at one of the entrances taking payment off people and a ridiculously rude woman came to check on me and as she walked off said "Mind you've paid for yourself". Never volunteered again.

They're extremely cliquey, very patronising, and very guilt tripping. It's like a cult, and their children are usually very intelligent but quite rude and no discipline, induldged by the teachers...who are more often than not besties with the PTA 'people'.

My friend joined the PTA when her DC started primary school as she works part time, and found it quite difficult tbh in general, which gave a different perspective of parents with younger children just entering into school life. She struggled to know what to contribute it committee meetings but also struggled with the lack of clear instructions at events when she didn’t know her way around the school, and was also made to feel guilty that she couldn’t help set up or run a stall at the school fair as she actually had her 4 year old to look after at the same time.

Same reasons here.
Children with different needs are just not considered or catered for....the ice cream van on the last day cant cater for my child so they go without.
Cake stalls etc the same.
Summer fayre this year £5 per ticket, then money for drinks/snack/raffle...the bloody ice cream van...and no siblings allowed so there is room for every school child - where am.i supposed to leave the others while I take 1 child to an after school fayre?
And they only talk to you when they want something....otherwise you are ignored.

Oh and just remembered i've paid £5 per ticket to watch my own kid in the Xmas & summer play too.
No idea what the monies taken are spent on!

I donot want to spend time baking a cake. Say the ingredients cost me a tenner, you sell it for £1 a slice and make a tenner.

Can you just ask me for £££ at the start of the year then leave me alone?

Also- I don’t know what it’s spent on. Maybe if the school had a list of stuff in priority order, we could buy stuff off there rather than just hand over cash

This, sooo this. There is always 1 top dog who is a megalomaniac 😂. My ndn is in her kids schools one and oh my gosh, some of them are absolute fannies. However, they do endeavour to raise a lot of money for the greater good.
Hope that helps😂

So the compromise would have been it would have been placed on the gatepost, outside the school, accesable by the school and the community. It would have worked beautifully, but they didn't want it... goodness knows why.
They'd had a grandparent picking up a dc who had an MI on school grounds previously so decided a deifb was needed.

My PTA are worried about asking for donations because they are afraid parents may get upset by the request. Having seen the weirdly ill placed vitriol on this thread (I hate the PTA because they didn't move the date of the disco to a date I preferred etc) I can see why they were nervous

Also part of our remit is to deliver "events " for the school. That's not an ego trip. It's what the HT asks us to provide.

And re the defib- I can see all kinds of potential headaches with the arrangement you wanted so again, weird thing to judge them for

This.

The PSA at my DD's school was really great too. IT depends so much on the crowd running it - luckily ours had some great ideas for fund raising and bought some great things and eventually raised enough for a complete playground revamp!

The committee are volunteers, of course it had to be on a night they are available to help. What a weird thing to be angry at them about. We also often get told by the school what night /time we can hold events as it depends on the availability of the site team etc

It find it annoying how I'm taxed and barely just financially surviving, yet every week the PTA hands are out asking for money. I blame the government. But I do think some of the money is wasted a little on copious amounts of ice cream on what feels like every time the sun comes out on a Friday and treats that are relatively cheap that most kids have at home. I don't mind if the money is supporting things that are needed or that would make more positive change. I don't remember having ice cream at school yet never felt like we did without.

Oh this was my experience too. It put me off completely.

Over the last 20 years I have given massive amounts of time, as a volunteer, for a uniformed organisation. The group I previously worked with (I moved to a different town so I moved groups) drew its members almost entirely from two primary schools and they both always held their discos on the night of the week we met. As often as not one would have a Halloween disco the week before Halloween and the other would have it the week after so we were missing half the members two weeks running.
I contacted the PTA in the school my DC attended and asked whether they would consider not always holding discos on the same night of the week every time because it was affecting my group and other groups in the area, and the response was that that was the night that suited the committee. One of my team had a DC at the other local school. She pointed out to that PTA that they were always crying out for volunteers and if they rotated the night of the week they held discos, different parents would be available to volunteer, her included; she received a similar response to the one I received.
I supported the PTA where I could because their effort paid for a lot of extras in the school (panto at Christmas in the school, contributions for buses for trips, treats at sports day, etc) but they were a clique who weren't willing to accommodate the wider community.

Does the PTA stand in a designated square at pickup with a sign saying ‘PTA only’? Because my child is starting year 2 and I have no idea which parents form the PTA, not one. I just pay what is asked as I’m grateful for any time they give