Why do you hate the PTA?

Really not rocket science is it.

The only good thing about the summer/Xmas fairs are the raffle. I dislike them otherwise, don't go to them at either school but I will buy a load of raffle tix.

Don't hate them, but am a bit sad how ours has changed in recent years. No problem with change - thats inevitable as people come and go.
But our area has been starting to gentrify and the richer parents coming in are taking over. Ours used to be run by a great bunch of no nonsense working class parents. They did cheap, cheerful, tried and tested events. Raised a bit of money but focussed more on getting people together, made it easy for people to help, fun for the kids. The new parents focus is all on raising money and some have been critical of the old group.

This.

It would be crap if our school didn't have the summer and winter fayre. The kids have a great time.

X

The constant ask for money at expensive times of year. Mainly at Christmas and just before the summer break. 5000000 different events which end up making you feel like a crap mum if you can’t afford to do it for your child.

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes our PTA have used some funds recently for the playground.

It is a relief to hear you would have found it more challenging had your kids been younger.

I think maybe for the op, this is something to acknowledge…we have received a PA message from the PTA before for not having enough volunteers for an event that took place at 7pm. It was to a WA group of 90 parents of reception kids.

I will possibly consider joining PTA but only when my kids are older. They are currently 5 and 2 and i’m failing at life in every way already without more volunteering!

Our PTA all seem to have high flying jobs. I practically snorted at the idea we have undemanding jobs. Although quite a few of us work from home so I guess if you met us at school pickup it would be easy to assume we are SAHMS/have "little" jobs.
It's pretty much the opposite in my experience, they are an interesting bunch with all sorts of interesting jobs - which probably explains why we don't manage to do all the things people think we "should" be doing

I’m grateful for the PTA volunteers for doing things my kids would not otherwise get to do like a summer fair with stalls and a bouncy castle and paying for new playground equipment for them to play on. The PTA helping the kids to choose and wrap donated Xmas presents for their parents is really nice. For some of the single parents that was their only present from their kids. That’s a really important family support to have available. Or the uniform sales. Nobody else does it if the PTA doesn’t exist.

I have no idea why some PP get so arsey about other people doing stuff that any one else is totally free to ignore.

PTA events give the kids a sense of the parents working together and wider community supporting their school, which is a nice feeling for them. It allows parents who want to, to meet each other. The kids have fun. I’m happy with that.

What were they doing with the money then?
Did they have an official bank account?

I don’t hate them but I’m self- employed and so is hubby which means we can’t commit to things and it can feel like they think that’s an excuse? Most have stable 9-5 or are SAHM and our jobs are all over the place. I offer to do what I can, and it’s very much ‘if you can’t commit don’t bother’. A lot often have kids similar age- ours are spread out and we have to make choices sometimes when events clash and we have secondary school age kids too. It can be a bit judgy.
Also, there’s just too much stuff on. Is there need for a class party/ BBQ/ summer fair/ afterschool cinema/ ice cream afternoons/ class tripetc etc etc. I sometimes wish they’d do fewer but bigger events so that more money is raised in one go and it not be exhausting for the kids and everyone else. My kids are just DONE at the end of term.

I don't hate our PTA. The constant "just a little reminder" on the back of 40,000 other little reminders gets a bit tedious, and the constant money for this, money for that does drive you mad occasionally. But... they're doing an extremely worthwhile voluntary role, which in our school raises thousands each year which means more enrichment for the kids, so I admire their enthusiasm for it. I'd probably join if it didn't seem like a full time job in itself. Most of them are either sahms or seem to have the world's most flexible undemanding jobs. My job is very local to the school and pretty flexible on the whole, but I'm still required to be in the office the majority of the week, I can't just be sacking off days to sort through secondhand uniform or helping to set up fundraisers left right and centre.

I admire them tbh, as they do a lot, and they're only recieving the same benefit as the rest of the parents. Which is enhancing the school experience for all the children.

They're fucking dangerous these days though... No more getting away with the trusty "oh what a shame, we forgot our coins for the cake sale" now Sharon can whip out her SumUp device at the drop of a hat. Smug cow.

As a staff we disliked our PTA because they'd raise thousands but when we'd ask them to pay for something, they'd refuse.

All our meetings are in the evening. People can also join on zoom

But we sort a lot over email /WhatsApp so there are often flurries of messages at lunchtime /once kids are in bed.

I managed a volunteering for two other charities too. And a chronic illness. But said chronic illness means I can't get out to socialise much and I can't do lots of sport, so volunteering fills that gap for me I guess. My job is very busy and very full time so having other commitments actually helps as it forces me to switch off.

We held two main events Christmas and the Summer Fair. So the meetings were arranged around these events and were online. We did meet for drinks or a meal after the event to celebrate.
I only volunteered when my youngest was at primary (volunteered years 5&6) and the oldest had started secondary. My husband pulled his weight when I had meetings or events.
I never did anything after school as I didn’t have the time only a couple of zoom meetings in the evening. We organised the cupboard/prep on the weekend, usually a Saturday. And the events were held on a weekend.

We bought/ revamped playground equipment. There were a number of educational subscriptions that we also paid for. The head wanted the money on the playground equipment and we agreed with him. We paid for a gardener who ran educational lessons in the school garden linked to the curriculum. The gardener was a ‘staff’ cost that didn’t always sit well with us but the children loved their gardening lessons so we felt it was a good use of money. We also kept some money back so that if a future year needed additional money then it was available. It was always a discussion with us parents and the head.

We also communicated what we spent the money on too. We asked for feedback from parents around what we were spending money. I couldn’t have done it if I had two younger ones. We did have some dads who were actively involved so that was good too.

Exactly. Stop patronising people, being hollier than thou, inventing stupid ways to waste everyone's time and money, just ask for voluntary donations and prepare a couple of fairs/shows a year. Stop All the rest with home made low sugar organic best bake off sales, raffles where I need to buy ten pound tokens in advance for "winning" second hand ugly things and shite. Use donations to buy things kids actually need or get them the organic bakes with that money then. Just don't ask me to bake and don't patronise me by pretending you're better than me cos you also have oh-so-busy lives but are so amazing and such a martyr cos you can find the time and I must be shit cos you're doing this for the good of the school and everyone else is just selfish and lazy.

@HJBeans I was the person who mentioned buying a box of Mr Kipling cakes.
I completely accept and understand that for some families they literally can't do that for the many reasons you said.
My comment was kind of aimed at the "I'm far too busy to bake cakes" crowd - which usually translates as having a full time "important" career. The type of people who can just tag a box of cakes onto their supermarket order and it's not going to financially affect them.
(Sorry if that sounds bitchy 😂)

DH volunteers for a local charity.
I also volunteer for a local charity and about 70% of the trustees are men . Plenty of men volunteer

I partly joined the PTA to meet other mums though and have made some great friends that way. Perhaps not the most altruistic reason to join but it has reaped rewards for me. Contrary to the stereotypes being trotted out on here I am quite shy and introverted and so are most of our PTA. I think a lot of us volunteered to make friends/meet people

Complete agree with you! I’m on a PTA and would have given a couple of years and then someone else take their turn but it doesn’t work like that because most don’t seem to want to do it so I’m still volunteering. We have a fab set of mums on our PTA and we all have jobs too (that seems to be an assumption)

we spend our own time (and often money) doing it for the kids so they have fun and memories and the school to have money for things they otherwise wouldn’t get from the council! and I’m SO sick of seeing whinging posters on here having a pop at PTAs.

I was on the PTA for 5 years and although some of it was fun, it’s thankless, annoying and frustrating.
You always get quite a few strong characters who always want their own way, parents complain when funds don’t get spent as they think they should but never come to a meeting to vote.
it takes up so much time and energy and because of the budget deficits in schools the pressure to try and raise money is endless, with school requesting funds for loads of things without truly understanding the mammoth effort each penny raised takes.
One of ours is heading to secondary now and at the information evening they asked for people to join the PTA, my husband gave me a nudge, he got a harder one back and told quite firmly that he could always join as I’d done my time already!

I refused to get involved in ours. I served as a governor for about 3 years so I’ve done my service for the school.
I can’t bear all the weird small town cliquey stick up nonsense. This isn’t the lifestyle I aspire to. I didn’t send in the chazza money either after about year 2 and whilst a governor post Covid I told the school to pack that in too. People were broken and poor.
interestingly after primary school ended the pta psychos transferred their toxicity to the dance school dd went to and I got all the same grief because I work Saturdays and I didn’t help out with ballet either. I don’t feel bad and the world still turns.

I loved the PTA at two of my girls’ primaries; at the third they seemed to be rather a closed shop and not want anyone else involved which was a shame.

Wow the PTA at my son's primary school was fantastic, organising Christmas and summer fairs, discos, cake sales etc. I was at the school for 11 years and they worked really hard and the children loved all the events.

Out of interest, please can I ask:

How did you all fit this in with your full time jobs? What ages were your kids?

What kind of things did you spend the money on?

Ours was very cliquey and they all reserved the best seats at any events.

Because it raises a shitload of money for the school and the kids love it?