Why do you hate the PTA?

Absolutely some people can't for lots of reasons and I have no problem with them but most people can but don't because they think someone else will sort it. If you are going to the summer fete for example anyway then you can run a stall for an hour. That's a problem not just with PTAs but the world in general most people are selfish and entitled. And I lump myself in that too, I'm certainly not perfect and should do more.

I think 'PTA' is a USA-ism and they are slightly different there. Here they are, as you say, parent fundraising organisations.

I don't get why they are called PTA's. At every school my girls have been too they are solely run by parents, teachers aren't actively involved other than maybe helping on a stall at summer fayre once a year.

Other than that, I don't get the vitriol towards them. They organise school discos (optional) ice cream sales (optional) summer fayre (optional) Christmas fayre (optional). The only one that annoys me is the incessant mufti days - they aren't really optional.
Help out or don't. Send your child to an event or don't

All our PTA are busy working mums and dads, who fit it around they work. My friend used to be head of it, and her dining table was constantly filled with raffle tickets, prizes and other PTA stuff, she dedicated so much time to it and raised a phenomenal amount, alongside working full time, a DH who worked away lots, supporting one of her children who has additional needs etc. It wasn't that she had lots of time, she didn't.

I never said more successful but definitely a more enjoyable experience of school. School is nothing more but a giant community and "third space" for children and parents. It's obvious that the more accepted and welcomed you are within that community, the better you will feel about being there. It's a self-fulfilling cycle. PTA parents spend more time at school and with other parents. Their children end up spending more time together outside of classes. They feel more involved in the community and school events. They learn that volunteering your time to help make things fun at school is a worthwhile cause. They don't see school as a traumatic or hateful place where they feel like they don't belong.

This has nothing do with academics since any child may struggle with grades. But community plays a massive role in how happy any child might feel about their life there. Probably taboo to say it out loud, but a huge number of PTA kids (and teacher's kids) are well-adjusted, popular and well-liked within the school community. And that's exactly the reason some mothers do it. They know that by playing an active role in the school, it gives their children a head start and nips a lot of potential issues in the bud. Especially in younger years, children find a lot of comfort in knowing their parents have some sort of of official "role" in their school, even if it's just sporadically. They might see their mum around in the corridors or setting up for an event and that makes a huge difference on their mindset. School is a fun and safe space to hold events and make good memories.

I daresay it's much harder for a child growing up like that to develop intensely negative feelings about school, to the point they don't want to attend anymore. Or they hate it with such a passion they refuse to stay in contact with anybody once they leave.

Some of the comments here are very naive. Do you 'taxpayers should fund this' lot really think if all PTAs downed tools, the government is going to step in and fill the gap in school budgets? 😂😂😂😂😂We have school buildings literally falling down in the UK. Our LA, like most, won't pay for any specialist SEN education, despite being legally obliged, unless the parent takes them to court. We currently have a government deciding how many child rapists it would be OK to release early because they can't afford to build prisons.

The fact is nurseries, toddler groups, creches, women's shelters, playgrounds, youth groups would not exist at all if mothers didn't do this work for free in their spare time. That's why PTAs are full of grumpy, cliquey women - because they are tired of asking and doing everything while everyone else sits around bitching about them.

As for the 'they should just spend their time writing grant applications' 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I work in this area professionally. You have NO IDEA the amount of time, resources and preparation it takes to secure grants - which generally have a 0-5% success rate. It's not just filling in a form.

PTA helpers I know of, definitely don’t judge or generalise about people who don’t help..
PTA helpers come in and out of helping like anyone else does.
Personally I only judge the persistent moaners who moan aggressively and don’t help. Obviously it’s not moaning to simply suggest new ideas or give feedback, even if it’s negative feedback.
It is moaning though, to say ‘why can’t we do it how we’ve always done’ when what you’ve always done excludes a swathe of kids at the school, and it’s been made clear that the event is being done a different way to be inclusive, and they still don’t care. They don’t care about kids who aren’t theirs, at all. Not even a tiny bit.

@Chilly80 I don't hate our PTA. I DO hate comments and the attitude that "I manage it so why can't everyone else". You never ever know what people are dealing with. I was a Governor. I gave it up for health reasons and have since changed schools. I am very invested in my child and the school (so give very generously) but I genuinely have zero capacity to give my time. Noone knows my history or health issues or that I live with chronic, daily pain. On the surface I look like someone who ONLY works part time and doesn't volunteer. So I assume I lumped into those that don't that should? It's great you can "prioritise volunteering". Wonderful. A great deal of people cannot for a myriad of reasons that aren't your business. I wouldn't have dreamed of casting judgment towards parents who didn't support the school as a Governor. Your attitude (and others who've said the same on the thread) is partially why people harbour Ill feeling towards some PTA's.

You volunteered because you wanted to. You do good deeds because you want to. That really should be where it stops. Not I can and do so everyone could/should.

Wow so much hate for the PTA. I ran/was on my school's for about 7 years and raised over £100k for the school which allowed huge improvements to the playgrounds, new minibus, new books for the school and for kids to take home, panto every year and free ice lollies on sports day plus other stuff.

Everyone says tax should pay for it but I'm pretty sure you'd complain more if they put tax up to better fund school's.

Yes we were constantly asking for volunteers but in a school of over 600 kids we had less than 10% help. I am not a stay at home mum I work and so did the majority of our committee and we managed to fit it in as we made it our priority. I took annual leave several time to spend the day making raffle prize hampers or to be in school for a children only event. We wanted kids to have the best school experience possible and help those less fortunate. Everyone took home a Christmas/Mothers day gift whether they'd paid for one or not. Stalls at the fetes were 20p. We got cheap tickets for funfairs/farms/theatre for people to buy.

And yet we got constantly moaned at. Why are you doing that event on that day i can't attend. Why aren't you organising X. My kid doesn't like Y. Have you thought about Z. All from people who never volunteered.

We definitely did not get any special treatment by the school for kids getting better parts in productions etc. And if any school did do that then thats the heads fault.

The hate for school ptas really makes me sad. No other charity volunteers get such hate. At least the ones who knock on doors get paid.

The other thing that I think some
parents misunderstand about PTAs and blame them for, is that the PTA can be only ever as good or flexible as the Head teacher allows them to be. PTAs don’t have any meaningful independence. They have to spend the money where the Head allows and no further. They have run the type of events rhe Head allows them to do. or the events that the Head asks for. PTAs must plan events in line with school caretaker hours and availability given by the Head. PTAs can’t announce dates until full Head sign off.
And with Heads being very busy people, this can mean last minute advertising of events which is really frustrating for everyone

This. Plus the head often relies on their staff to propose things to spend the money on. Which is as it should be, the school staff should be best placed to say what is needed.

I don’t think many parents have the investment to actually ‘hate’ the PTA and it’s a bit of a sexist joke to slag off the PTA which is 9.9% women.

I think other parents can ruin PTAs though if they’re overly critical though of other parents who are volunteering a lot of time and just getting a lot of grief back because their face doesn’t fit. Our old PTA chair who was good resigned, so a previous Clair got voted back in. There seems to be an wierd attitude of ‘rightful ownership’ of the PTA. I valued having a new Chair of PTA for accepting all help and all ideas (even if they can’t do them all) and being happy to listen and adapt. Like when some kids have been excluded from PTA events due fo affordability, dietary or sensory needs, or other siblings’ requirements or event timings etc. So I appreciate it when the PTA can evolve with the needs of the current crop of kids. Not sure that all PTA Chairs are as open to inclusivity.

The other thing that I think some
parents misunderstand about PTAs and blame them for, is that the PTA can be only ever as good or flexible as the Head teacher allows them to be. PTAs don’t have any meaningful independence. They have to spend the money where the Head allows and no further. They have run the type of events rhe Head allows them to do. or the events that the Head asks for. PTAs must plan events in line with school caretaker hours and availability given by the Head. PTAs can’t announce dates until full Head sign off.
And with Heads being very busy people, this can mean last minute advertising of events which is really frustrating for everyone. You couldn’t pay me to be a PTA Chair at a school with a Head who wasn’t really keen to prioritise working with the PTA.

That was to User974

I’m a PTA parent who struggles to get my children into school due to their SEN which the school can’t handle. I was with you up until that moment. I agree that social networks are vitally important to combat isolation- I wouldn’t know anyone at the school drop if I didn’t volunteer for the PTA, because I am normally the parent struggling to get my kid into school via the school office and then get off to work.

As you’re newly setting up your PTA you have the opportunity to make it better than the ones everyone is moaning about.
Our PTA is wonderful! We describe it as school provides the cake and the PTA provides the lovely cherries and sprinkles for the topping!
Our current PTA chair is amazing! She came to new parents evening during the heatwave and afterwards asked the head if the PTA could get ice lollies for the following day for all the children and staff!

This is the reason!

Hardly anyone wants a summer or Xmas fair. People hate the obligation to go and the organisers love moaning about it.

The PTA at my school do some fantastic things, and i am happy to give them money, but i don't see why they need my time also.

So just save everyone some hassle, and ask for cash donations, once per year,

I say this as someone who is pro PTA but does get annoyed at how some of them address other parents who can't volunteer - Oh my goodness 😆, did you really say that. 😵‍💫 Are you really inferring PTA Mums have more successful children?! Okay...

It's just life there are people who give and people who take, and then just like with tax paying people who take then tend to hate the people that give.

Funnily enough the takers never appear to turn down slots on PTA funded activities, and seem perfectly happy to let the PTA fund their space on trips because they don't want to pay.

It's also mind boggling how many parents here don't give a shit about what their children would actually enjoy. All the moaning about not caring if there's a fete, about how taxpayers should fund schools and how they hate being told to bring prizes or food for events.

I've never seen a child NOT enjoy a Christmas or Summer Fete, a tombola, face-painting or just running around with their school friends at a party. I'm convinced that it's those experiences that make children genuinely enjoy school and appreciate being part of a community.

PTA parents' children also tend to have a much better school experience. That's why it tends to attract a certain "type" of mother. Those are mums who know that social currency is crucial to building up self esteem and kids always tend to be inclusive of other children whose parents know each other or the teachers. Not surprisingly, those are also women who work and who probably have fairly high level careers. At some point, you realise that your network is everything and PTA isn't just a waste of time but creating a community and network for your children.

It would be quite interesting to do a study on the attitude of parents vs their children's experience of school. You rarely hear about a PTA parent struggling to get their child into school.

I agree with this. There’s a mum on the PTA who always parks on the very corner of the road where you’re absolutely not supposed to park, it’s where everyone crosses the road! She also pulls me daggers any time I see her and I think it’s because I refused to donate to a class pot TWO YEARS AGO for the reception staff end of year gift, I bought my own instead.

That’s the sort of women I think are on the PTA. They typically don’t work and have too much time on their hands now their children are in school.

Oh yes the top one! Always make money. You will make mistakes in the beginning but you really must focus on the fund part of fundraising. Our previous chairs left everything to the last minute and spent too much money, used to get to me every time. I almost left as vice chair because it was becoming a waste of time, but in the end they stepped down and I took over.

PTA chair here about to go into my third year as chair and before that vice chair for a year, I haven't read the post but we are successful and have loads of positive feedback at our events. My advice would be:

Good relationship with the head teacher and teachers they help us run our events. They also speak to me about what their kids schools ptas are doing and we steal ideas 😂.

Good relationship with office staff as you'll need them for comms and any online payments you need setting up.

Get to know the kids, we are a small village school of 130 kids, so that is probably easier for me but whenever I am in school the kids know me and I know them, it helps that the parents see that I'm friendly to the kids.

Let parents know what you're raising funds for and why

If its your first time running a certain event make it clear so parents can expect mistakes to be made

Respect the fact that turning up and spending money is just as helpful and the volunteers running the event

Understand why you are able to plan and run the event and not others and don't hassle the parents who can't help.

Make it clear that you can help all year or just one event. We have lots of parents who just help at the Christmas fayre and not throughout the year.

And the most important one I would say is focus on the kids enjoyment of the events you do, if the kids are enjoying it the parents are more likely to chill.

There are lots of Facebook groups for ideas. Look up PTA parentkind. You will need insurance for your events.

Happy to help if you have any questions.

The thing is, the pta does provide hugely important funds but they shouldn’t be necessary. The sense of community from events is important and the kids love it. I’ve done plenty of volunteering and will help out when I can but there are things that frustrate me:

• non commercially minded fundraisers. Eg go and spend money on sweets or cakes that will be then be sold to the kids for less than you originally paid (this one really annoys me).

• events that are predicated on too high a volunteering load which then become non viable. Eg one year our Christmas event needed around 150 volunteering slots. There are 200 kids in the school but what wasn’t factored in is siblings so even if every family volunteered (which many don’t) the event needed more slots than was just realistic for the size of the school no-one wants to go and ignore their own children for multiple hours.

• other parents treating volunteers like shit. I worked the bar one year for an event and people were really bloody horrible. No I’m not going to be as quick as professional bar staff because it’s not my job. Ditto I ran the bouncy castle one year and it was a bloody nightmare trying to keep some order and the kids safe. I told one kid off for dangerous behaviour and the dad had a go at me. It made me so cross because the kid was being dangerous and ruining it for the others and he was in my face saying ‘ don’t tell my kid off’

The last bullet point really is the killer for me. It’s not the pta that would stop me volunteering again, it’s rude parents who treat people who are trying to help like shit.

That’s not true. The PTA also need people to volunteer and people to show up to events or to just donate.

There are of course people who don’t contribute whatsoever to the school. But I’ve never heard anyone discuss them in the PTA. Luckily we have a very active school community in our school.

God as a member of the PTA I hope members of our school community don’t hate us as much as people on this thread seem to.

Everyone in our PTA works, some of the most active have very high powered jobs because they are really busy, effective, efficient people and good at organising things. So this SAHM club thing just isn’t relatable.

We raise money so that all of the children can have a better school experience. But also, for our PTA, it’s about cultivating a community, so offering parents a chance to socialise with each other, if they want to, so that school feels more cohesive and there is a good sense of community there.

I know so many people because of the PTA, the other members, volunteers who always help us. So I’m chatting to people at the school gate. People seem to see that as horribly cliquey.

I like ours - I'm not on the committee/don't go to the meetings but will happily do a slot on the class stall at the summer fete and bake something when asked (only a couple of times a year).

The events are very well organised...e.g. the summer fete is always on the weekend and the whole family are welcome, or things like 'movie night' are alright after school so parents can just pick up after.
I think most/all of the PTA parents work so that helps.

Plus they are transparent on what the money is spent on - usually extra playground and art equipment plus nice things for the DC like ie lollies in hot weather or chocolate coins from Santa.

JFC