Why do you hate the PTA?

My experience across three different primary schools. The PTA were all stay at home mean girls who seemed to have children in the school for 20 year, not even exaggerating on that point. They bullied the teachers, totally ruled the schools.

I’m another one that feels the dread of all the fairs, I go because I don’t want DC to miss out but I’d honestly rather just give them £50 or whatever they want. Otherwise I don’t have any ill feeling towards the PTA, it’s people volunteering their time to do something that probably needs to be done by someone (who is not me).

See that sounds better arranged. We have 2 entrances at our school and there were donut stalls at both of them.

All PTAs are filled with busybodies with too much time on their hands, constantly demanding money from parents and organising events no normal person wants anything to do with.

I didn’t hate the PTA but I couldn’t cope with the constant calls for volunteers, via letters, via email, via WhatsApp and via coming up to me on the once in a blue moon I was able to pick my son up. No, I don’t want to volunteer because I’m at work, full time. No, I can’t come into school and man the stalls, no I won’t spend hours baking buns and no I can’t come to the fair.

Our donuts were free, paid for by the PTA. Van parked at one entrance so you could leave by the other if you didn't want to walk past with your kid

Ok the only thing out of your list that i’ve seen at xmas fairs is maybe the xmas decorations.

You made my point.
They raise funds which gives them a say on how it's spent.
So not necessarily what the school deems necessary but what the PTA wants

So some children can meet Santa in a grotto (their only opportunity).
So the school choir can feel proud by singing some carols to the public.
So children can have fun playing novelty games like hook a duck or throw a beanbag at a (cardboard) snowman.
So children can make a Christmas decoration that they get to take home.
So children can buy a new book for 20p from the book sale.

I mean obviously not everyone enjoys doing those things so they aren't compulsory to attend.

Agree. I don’t really understand PTAs or know enough about them.

I just feel schools should be fully and sufficiently funded by the government. I find it hugely disappointing that things like this are needed.

So again, i didn’t even find it fun as a child. I remember having nothing at home to donate or bring to the fair in the first place so had to guilt my mum into buying stuff for it. Which is ridiculous.

Ours runs discos, cake stalls and secondhand uniform shop.

They talk to one another but happily chat to anyone.

I think there is often a bit of a sneery view of ‘well I am not like those women; I am far too busy’ sort of view.

My PTA days are long over thankfully but I did many years on the PTA with various committees all with varying degrees of success.
I know people get annoyed with,
being asked to help for an hour then either left to cope alone for a whole event,
being asked to help then not being ‘trusted’ to do anything or not being given clear roles,
not knowing what the money being raised is going towards- shout about what your raising for/ what your paying for,
money going towards things people see as a waste of money eg buying pizza for teachers, new cups for visitors or massive treats for just one class,
too many event that involve a lot of parental support.

Events that went down well,
Evening talent show where each class did an act with a bar and a bbq
Mothers Day/Fathers Day/Christmas Shop so kids can buy a gift for loved ones,
Raffle for front row seats at Concerts

Jesus Christ, I'm the chair of our PTFA 😂.

I try to make it really inclusive, there's about 25 "members" of the ptfa in a school of 70 kids so pretty high involvement. Some of them only help out at one event year, that's completely fine, anything is better than nothing.

The school is on the bones of its arse financially. We pay for everything that isn't completely essential. Repairs to the pool, the dance teacher, coach to the panto, cover costs for the kids who wouldn't otherwise be able to go on the y5/6 residential. All sorts of stuff. You can argue we shouldn't exist, but schools are wildly underfunded and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Of course we're always asking for money, it's why we exist. I dunno if people think we're cliquey, I hope not. I really don't get the PTFA hate though, it's mostly just parents trying to make sure their kids school has everything they need.

Ours organise great events at a very reasonable price point and they have to deal with the school office who are dire at sending comms, which has really messed up events before and meant lots of parents complained to the PTA over something out of their control. They go above and beyond. This years is definitely one of the best we’ve had at our school. It’s not an easy task. Oh and no I’m not on the PTA committee myself.

I unfortunately think there are a lot of stereotyping and misinformation about what PTAs do which puts people off - when half the time it's not actually true.
(to be honest for health and safety reasons the PTA I was on preferred shop bought cakes for any cake sales rather than homemade - it's not hard to add a box of Mr Kipling cakes to your food shop. You don't have to make cakes 😂)

It’s fun for the children and raises money for the school, which gives children a better education and experiences.

This

I thought I'd sign up as they needed volunteers for something or other
3 hours of my life I'm never getting back

They where snobby,refused to speak to me,sighed heavily whenever I did something and then re-did it,ignored me when i tried to ask anything and I over heard one slagging me off over my ds (him and her kid didn't get along,which is fine,but her kid wasn't the angel she thinks she is)

I heard 'what do you expect?she's the head of my surname family'

That's when I told the snotty bitch to get stuffed and walked out

I'm used to my face not fitting but this was ridiculous

It happened to lots of us-if you didn't belong to their friendship group,they didn't want to know you but then would beg for volunteers!

They worked their way through so many volunteers,who would then refuse to help anymore due to their behaviour

God knows what happened in the end as my lot left the school

I genuinely don’t get why anyone wants a school Christmas fair.

I don’t hate our PTA. The women in it are nice, I just don’t have the time to join. They do lots of good event like the Christmas and summer fairs, school discos, special occasion gifts, cake sales and more, and raise £15k plus every year for the school which seeing as it’s an infant school so only has 3 years in it makes a huge difference for equipment. Yes the government should fund school properly but they don’t, and those doing something about it get a better education for their DCs.

So interestingly you’ve highlighted another problem that has come up at my school. The SUGAR.

We had the donut thing one pick up time. It was a disaster. It was advertised everywhere for ages and parents were annoyed that they then felt pressure to get their kid a donut which they didn’t want to pay for or for their kid to be eating crap. Then what happened was that there were just huge queues and they sold out and left lots of kids disappointed. It’s just not neccesary.

PTA's don't educate.
They raise money and organise fun stuff like Christmas fairs.
You'd soon be complaining if teachers cut back on lesson time to organise a fair.

I actually don’t think everyone wants summer and winter fairs though tbh. I certainly don’t. They are boring and awkward. And the pressure to find something for the tombola. I know a lot of parents end up buying something to put on it for a loss to then by made. Would be easier for parents just to donate some money.

DC1 is in Reception and basically both times i’ve signed him up for the school disco, i’ve been made to volunteer to help run it, with no instructions and other complicated shit. So for the 3rd time i am just not bothering with it at all.

We did also have a massively arsey message from them once saying it was ‘disappointing’ that only x number of people out of x number families in our school had volunteered to help with an event which started at 7pm, when many of us are putting our kids to bed.

The pta at my sons school is awful.
It's made up of a group of the most unfriendly, clicky people I've ever met.
One mum who i jokingly refer to as head honcho is not only on the pta, but involved in every single decision in our village, sports events, planning meeting, village bbq etc she is involved. I often feel i can't move for her being bloody everywhere. As she's involved in everything she acts like she's superior to mere mortals like me 🙄
Every event is planned with booze in mind and kids not so much so, for example the pta organised a school disco supposedly for the kids. It had a well stocked bar but the actual disco itself was rubbish. Just music played through a speaker no organised activities to get the kids involved.
In the playground they stand together excluding everyone else, often in my way as I'm trying to get a pushchair round to get to my sons class. Don't acknowledge my existence unless it's to suddenly start asking for money at which point they turn into sweetness and light.
I've made a massive effort with these women but to zero effect.
It's big on mean girl energy.

This response perfectly illustrates the problem for me. I don't want to volunteer, I'm a lone parent working full time, I'm permanently exhausted, poor and rushed off my feet and I don't want to bake a bloody cake. But the PTA don't accept polite refusal, it's all guilt tripping and moral superiority.