To ban SD from my en suite?!

@Pippa12

yeah, OP, couldn’t you quit your job? It may make you a nicer person. Why do you care if you get athletes foot or ringworm from your stepdaughter wearing your slippers….Sharing is caring after all! Can’t you just be kind?

its adorable she wants to use your stuff. Cant you just be happy and grateful for that?
@EasterEstherEgg

You sound insufferable

Rod the step children live with you full time?
If you’re wanting to end this marriage then tell DH he needs to leave, sell the house, hopefully you’ve got something drawn up that protects your money invested in house and reflects that you pay more into it? Then tell him he needs to move out or into spare room until the house is sold

Yeah she’s a CF & so is your husband for allowing it! I’d be telling her she owes you for the facial cream!
the two older girls should be paying rent too!!

As per usual, you have a dh problem. He doesn’t parent his kids. They have no respect for boundaries.
I’d kick this to the kerb too.

Good Lord, I couldn't read all this. I was visiting from another country and just assumed there would be a bar of soap for me to use. It's really not that deep. And no, I don't understand why anyone would bring basics like toothpaste to a house with plenty of that stuff. Expensive products, sure. But what that guest brought was really basic.

And meanwhile, back on Planet Normal, my nephew did not begrudge me a squirt of his cheap face wash. Jesus, some of the people on here.

Tbh I disagree. If you are blending a family , take your responsibility in having a hand in that child . Blending a family wasn’t the child’s choice. The adults did it and now the OP doesn’t like the hard work. Sadly you can’t just have the kids for only the good bits and if that is how OP sees it then they should never have moved in together.

It’s the child’s part time home. If OP feels financially burdened, again not the child’s fault it’s the DP she needs to take that up with. Personally I don’t like name calling children, I find it really odd.

Anyway it’s a moot point because she said she’s done with the family, so good they can all move on to happier, healthier relationships.

Yes you did and you're doing it again. No-one loves their things more than their children, don't be silly. Some parents are just better at having boundaries and rules in their home. Lots of parents don't allow their children to rule the roost and take whatever things they want, doesn't mean they don't love their kids.

And she’s provided for her over and above what her actual parents have been able to, despite having zero responsibility for her. At the time she married I imagine that circumstances were significantly better and she thought it was worth it. Things change.

What the SD thinks of OP in the future isn’t OP’s problem.

Teenagers are difficult and not always likeable, and other people’s teenagers are annoying , but she is the adult who chose to blend the family and buy a house with their Dad. I’m agreeing with her that she clearly doesn’t like them- admitted this herself- so best for everyone if this family breaks up.

This teenager won’t look back and think oh this lady had a nice house with fancy creams, she’ll look back when she’s adult and think was she a nice person or not, did she help guide me though my difficult teenager years with blended fanilies on both sides. The OP isn’t cut out for step parenting and that’s absolutely fine! Because that responsibility is thankless and tricky.

I got the half sibling thing wrong, apologies to the OP. That makes it a lot neater because this family needs to break up.

They hardly sound likable. Love and/or positive feelings towards someone, and I wouldn’t expect or assume that OP loved/loves her stepchildren, are not unconditional.

OP is the one providing her stepchild with a lifestyle she wouldn’t otherwise have, yet she chooses to treat her with disdain. OP is absolutely best off away from that people that seem to be little more than financial burdens at this point.

She hasn’t said they’re half siblings?

I also think they’re step siblings. No mention of him being the dad of the 12 year old.

and not sure I even believe it

oooooh this is the current hot comment type isn’t it? I’ve seen it three times this week.

Lots of stuff on here is absolute bollocks, either in content or, more often, in tone.

I don’t think this thread is giving bollocks vibes though.

Oh, well done you. How absolutely super you are!

"She also calls her DD and the SC, step siblings". Is the DH the father of DD? I may have missed that. OP said in her first post "I have DD12 and he has SS15 and SD17 " so I assumed the DD12 is hers and the SS15 and 17 are his.

She called them disgusting pigs. I’m not sure about you but in my world. to me that doesn’t sound very much like she likes her. She admits that she’s sick of them and wants away from them . Frustrated that they apparently get nits and ringworm so regularly which is weird at their age and not sure I even believe it. If she cared about them those things wouldn’t matter anyway. If you love a child you put up with all that comes with that child .

She also calls her DD and the SC, step siblings, when they are actually half siblings, which is bizarre to me. Seems like no love here and that’s unhealthy for everyone.

Yeah it's the blended family dynamic. Unlikely that two different sets of people are going to cohabit easily, unless they are exceptionally easy going. The OP is high earning, high achieving and her DH and step family seem just bit more 'relaxed'/messy and less respectful (probably cause dad's are generally more laissez-faire). Just my thoughts

I would just get the lock, don't explain, just do it. Is she trying to push boundaries to see 'how far she can go'? Do you get on with her OK otherwise?
Sharing is one thing, but she did this while thinking you were not due back yet, so you wouldn't find out.
I wouldn't be bothered about using the bath so much as her planning & using your personal products & your dressing gown/slippers. & have a word with DH - can't he buy her her own stuff & explain how inappropriate and what an invasion of privacy this is?

We have a catflap with a sensor, so it'll only open for them if it recognizes the chip in their collar. Perhaps that could be adapted for the internal doors of the house?

Oooo do tell. Apart from 'leave' the relationship (don't want to do this) and argue it out (normal discussions aren't really available), im not sure if there's anything else?

Sounds like it’s time to get rid of the extra weight and use your hard-earned income on spending time with your daughter. There was another thread recently where a woman was with a cocklodging man, using her money to pay for a big house for his three children and her one child. She realised she was being taken advantage of and booted him out.

If you do the same, feel free to start a thread in Relationships for support and advice. There are lots of lovely posters there to cheer you on. 💐

Anyone else getting Goldilocks vibes?

There is a way to avoid that ...

OP I can't believe some of the nonsense replies.

Of course yanbu.

Plus it sounds like the final straw. Time to just focus on you and your dd instead of being taken for a mug.

I’m not surprised you’re furious. You put boundaries in place and she’s ignored them.

I have 2 dd and I let them borrow my products (not as fancy as yours) - but there are rules about what, and putting them back etc. your stuff, you get to create the rules. Your dh needs to back you up on this.