To ban SD from my en suite?!

I can't see that there is much to be jealous of in what she has described here. She works gruelling hours she resents as she feels it takes her away from her daughter, and she lives with people she despises - I imagine most of us feel sorry for her, as the nicest face cream in the world couldn't compensate for that.

I, like many others on here I imagine, hope she is able to change this toxic situation for everyone's benefit, especially all the kids involved.

Yeah I think there are a lot of people jealous of the OP here…
sad for them

It’s shocking how some people work hard, earn a good living, can afford nice things, and appreciate them then some who can’t afford these things post judgemental attitudes.
I have worked exceptionally hard and can now afford nice things and would not appreciate my things being used without permission. Hope you get this sorted out ASAP.

yup its the "be kind" brigade. Batshit, all of them.

I doubt many of them actually believe that.

OP is not only a stepmother but also a high earner that buys Chanel. Some will take a vehement dislike to her just on principle.

That you don’t agree doesn’t make it any less true. OP didn’t have to provide what she did for her stepchild, but was generous enough to do so anyway. In return she’s been treated with contempt.

The stepdaughter is 17, so she’s very much responsible for her actions and the consequences of them. OP’s husband is also to blame. I do hope he doesn’t lay all the blame for the failure of his marriage and the loss of his lifestyle onto his daughter, but OP hasn’t given the impression that he’s someone generally keen to take responsibility. Either way, OP and her daughter are best off away from them.

It doesn't really matter how expensive the products are. What matters is the fact that SD is not respecting other people's things. What's special to me is special to me even if it has no monetary value. If I asked a member of my family to respect that, whether that means not wearing it, not using it etc, whatever, I have the right to expect my family member to do that. Equally I would do that for them.

I've only skimmed through as so many replies - sorry if this has been said already.

Have you asked her why specifically she's doing it? Is it a way, albeit less drastic than some ways, of lashing out against you?

You absolutely need your boundaries, but if you don't get to the bottom of the whys', it'll continue and get worse.

All the things in your posts on here about working to provide and right to enjoy etc, you should be saying to her, rather than in here. Shes old enough. And since there are plenty of facilities elsewhere in the house, there’s no excuse. Make her pay for replacement products..she gets to keep the open ones for the other bathroom but buys you new replacements.

I wouldn't mind this if I'm away.....as long as she didn't use my expensive products....but definitely not while I'm there

Oops sorry about the duplicates. I've reported myself and requested removal

Actually using the en suite I wouldn't mind as long as it's not left in a mess.

Using my dressing gown, slippers and products absolutely not.

Actually using the en suite I wouldn't mind as long as it's not left in a mess.

Using my dressing gown, slippers and products absolutely not.

Sounds more like your resentment at having to be the breadwinner is the crux of this and the bath is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Some of you must have soooooo much money too.

for most people, if you treat yourself to something expensive that you really like and can’t often to buy all the time and then someone goes and liberally douses themselves in it without you asking you would be perfectly entitled to be quite pissed off and ask them to leave your stuff alone.

for some on here though, it’s easy come, easy go…

How are they half-siblings?

They are all children from previous relationships

No. We tell them they can have the really special things when they are old enough to appreciate/afford them.

This is not the same as you eating caviar while they have gruel. Fancy creams are luxuries not necessities

They can have age-appropriate nice things now.

And that they don't take other peoples' stuff without permission

Good Lord I totally agree @AliceMcKthat sounds bloody exhausting!

She doesn’t. She sounds like a normal loving mum.

With you on that one .
Calm down ffs !

I think some people are missing the point; it’s disrespectful .
Op is the breadwinner, working away from her own kid and the few treats she has are being used with out permission.

My daughter is seven and I let her use some of my products- if she asks. She gets anything I don’t want anymore (like perfume). But she would never, ever take without permission. A teen 100% would understand needing permission.

Op: I know some see it silly as this being the last straw, but I’m going to bet this is just the final issue among a lot of other stuff.

I think I’d seriously consider your relationship with your partner. Sounds like he doesn’t give a toss about the house and disrespects your rules. Obviously has no discipline with his kids.

I'm very close to my only daughter so to me that would not be a problem at all, what's mine is hers and she's very respectful. This is purely a question but could it be because they are his children & not yours and you feel a bit violated? I had an ex who's sons would always use my stuff when I wasn't there (we didn't live together but I was there every weekend & left all my toiletries there). One morning I got up to find one of my flip flops broken where he had squeezed his fat foot into it, I was livid! I now have visions of one of his sons using my shower puff all over his bits. Ewwww

OP, did the step children ask to live with you? I imagine they'd be a lot happier just living with their dad, as they way you talk about them makes it clear you can't stand them - comparing humans to "pigs" is horrible I have to say, especially when it's children you are talking about.

They may to some extent enjoy the lifestyle your money provides, but I doubt it compensates for the reality of being despised, being banned from parts of the house etc.

And you say you and your daughter will be much happier alone too - so everyone's a winner! When can you set it in motion?

And please don't be in such a rush to "blend families" next time - it's often absolutely shit for the children involved. Imagine being a child and having to live with an adult who likens you to a pig!