To ban SD from my en suite?!

Do you think it’s some kind of flex that a 17yo approves of your products? Are we supposed be validated by a 17yo’s SD’s approval, and be so eager for it that we forget any other behaviour?

Using your bath when you're not there is fair enough. I wouldn't be dog in the mangerish about that - it's not like you can lie in it when you're away...

Using your products and dressing gown? Nope. Cheeky cow.

Lock it from the outside. And tell DH he has to keep it locked unless he's locked in the actual bedroom!

Yeah it's out of order to use other people's private spaces when you've been explicitly told not to..

Why didn't DH stop her?

I do. It is an absolute non negotiable. My en-suite and my bedroom are my space. Just as my children have their own space in their rooms which I wouldn’t go through I don’t want them in my en suite using my things or going in my bedroom when I am not in it. The rest of the house is free for everyone but no, my room my en-suite and my space which is for me and DP

Have you asked her why she uses your en-suite ?

Maybe she doesn’t want to share space with the younger DC particularly if they don’t clean up

here come the be kind brigade

I agree! Who cares about stuff like this?!

What is it that you don’t like? Is that they leave a mess or is it that you don’t like them touching your things?

we don’t have banned spaces in our house at the moment. But no teens! So interested to know!

Ask her to replace your stuff

If she often does it and you haven’t noticed then she obviously leaves it clean and tidy and doesn’t use excessive amounts of products. I really wouldn’t get worked up about this. And quite a complement that she want s to smell like her stepmum!

What a horrible thread. I cannot imagine ever telling my children they cannot use a room, a bathroom, a dressing gown or a cream. They have their own creams and hair things that cost just as much as mine purchased by me because they are not second class citizens who make do while I have the best and they are welcome to use my stuff also. Cannot believe how uptight so many posters are and some sound plain nasty. She prob enjoyed having a pamper can’t you be nice about it I’m sure it would go a long way it’s not really a big deal

I think the difference here is that DD17 knew she wasn’t allowed to do it so waited until OP was away. I would be miffed too.

You must have good style, nice products, and an enviable en suite and slippers for 17 yr old SD to want to commit the crime of the century by muscling in on them. I'd remember these facts whilst giving her the telling off.

Crikey I really can’t understand people getting so uptight about their children having a bath in their own home.

More information needed, do you like her? Does she like you? Does she have a good relationship with her mum? How often is she with you? Do you have another bath in the house?
It wouldn’t bother me, maybe she just wants to feel a bit grown up and pampered. I like it if I go to friends or family and they let me use various toiletries. Obviously you haven’t given permission, would she feel able to ask you?

Perfect. Thank you for bringing lightness.

My children are my own in my house I hide all my good stuff because I know my daughter will use it and it's not cheap. You shouldn't have to but if you know she is prolific then hide it.

Totally irrelevant. It’s about boundaries, not who owns what.

This has made me laugh out loud. I'm not sure I'm allowed to have friends over to my parents' house after the infamous party of 1991 while they were on holiday...

I think it's DH's problem to sort out. He buys a lock, fits it and only you have the keys. I would also demand new dressing gown and slippers plus anything else someone else has used. Or ask them to leave and divorce. This is not a minor situation it is showing you how little they think of you (bit like pissing in your bed).

I agree with this… I find it really sad that so many people would put locks on doors in their houses to keep children out, and all the talk of “marking territory” or retaliation… isn’t it their home too? My kids are pretty young so maybe I’ll feel differently when they’re teens but I can’t imagine banishing them from my bedroom or a bathroom

All of those saying they wouldn’t be bothered are forgetting that this is being done without OPs permission. It’s her stuff for gods sake! It’s one thing to be asked and given a chance to say yes or no but OP hasn’t had that.

If she has been specifically told the en-suite is out of bounds then yeah totally out of order. It goes without saying, that at 17, she would clearly understand that means she can't access it which also means she can't use anything in it (I.e. products, dressing gown etc). Not rocket science.

Do you get on? Does she have form for defying rules or requests from you that her dad isn't enforcing?

And what does her dad think about it?

Chuck the fuckers out of your house!! ALL of them including your “d” h!!

I think day to day your rule makes sense, but personally I would allow it when away, with a few stipulations perhaps. Would you be so mad if it were your own child do you think?

I think I'd buy her a matching dressing gown and a few products and make a joke out of it!

Unless there's a lot more to this story?

It kind of feels like as a teenage girl she needs a private bathroom spot from time to time, much as you do.

But it's obviously upset you and it's worth understanding that too.