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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ban SD from my en suite?!

767 replies

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 18:48

I’m fuming!!

When I moved in with DH, an en suite was an essential on my list. I have DD12 and he has SS15 and SD17 and I don’t want to share my personal space with teenagers. They’re also not allowed in our bed.

Have come back from a work trip early to find SD getting out of my bath, with my shampoos, body lotions and creams laid out and my bloody dressing gown and slippers on and apparently she often does this when I’m away!

She - and DH and everyone else - are well aware my en suite is off limits. AIBU?

OP posts:
Wadsworthy · 03/07/2026 00:08

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:30

There is a bath in the kids’ bathroom and a separate shower, plus another shower in the annex. I buy her her own products (purple stuff for her blonde hair, I buy curly stuff for our child and generic boy stuff he wants for SS). None of the children are allowed in the en suite, not just SD.

She was naked in my bathrobe, she’d just got out the bath and was moisturising her legs with my £50 facial moisturiser.

This is completely out of order. YANBU.

DimwittedSkater · 03/07/2026 00:07

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:57

I’d be less angry with DD because she’s 12. If she did it, she’d probably cry and her allowance would be docked til she paid it back. SD has stormed off to her mum’s.

Both SD and DD know my en suite is off limits. They are both into skincare. If they want to try something, they can ask me and we’ll look together and I’ll sometimes say yes or sometimes I’ll direct them to something more suitable to their skin and age.

The fact that SD has repeatedly been going into my private space and taking what she wants, whilst I’m away working hard for our family, makes me absolutely furious.

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She can't have been taking much, though, if you haven't noticed your potions going down.

I can understand that you're frustrated, but I think you should wait until you're calm to address it. But perhaps that ship has sailed, since she's gone to her mum's.

FloofyKat · 03/07/2026 00:04

EasterEstherEgg · 03/07/2026 00:02

Yes, repeatedly

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And his response?

ICantChoose · 03/07/2026 00:02

Wow this thread is weird 🙈 I can't believe people get bothered by these things....

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 03/07/2026 00:02

CaesarAugusta · 03/07/2026 00:01

Seriously? Have you had a conversation with your husband about that issue?

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Yes, repeatedly

OP posts:
Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 03/07/2026 00:02

Chocolatecrispsdrink · 03/07/2026 00:01

You've clearly got issues bigger than your DSD using your stuff. I feel sorry for the DCs involved.

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I’ve felt sorry for SC before too, but now I just feel sorry for DD and that I’ve let her live with such disrespectful pigs.

OP posts:
CaesarAugusta · 03/07/2026 00:01

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:59

To be honest this is the last straw. Both SC and DH treat our house like a dosshouse and I’m tired of coming home late after working hard to find a mess.

I think I’m done.

DD and I will be much happier living separately.

Seriously? Have you had a conversation with your husband about that issue?

2O26 · 03/07/2026 00:01

My husband is not allowed to use my ensuite bathroom. He has his own down the hall, and he prefers it that way. Using my bathrobe and slippers? Who does that? If there were no other bathtub in the house, I could understand her using yours. But she must use her own bathrobe, towel, and slippers, and ask first. Does she only use it when we are away on a trip because she thinks she can get away with it?

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 03/07/2026 00:01

DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:56

Why?? SD was clean when she put it on! She doesn't have fleas.

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😂😂😂

Funny because she often has headlice from her younger siblings at her mum’s, as well aa athletes foot and ringworm.

I probably spend £50 a month just on treatments for her and SS which they gratefully use at our house.

OP posts:
Chocolatecrispsdrink · 03/07/2026 00:01

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:59

To be honest this is the last straw. Both SC and DH treat our house like a dosshouse and I’m tired of coming home late after working hard to find a mess.

I think I’m done.

DD and I will be much happier living separately.

You've clearly got issues bigger than your DSD using your stuff. I feel sorry for the DCs involved.

76evie · 03/07/2026 00:00

I’d tell them to wear their own dressing gown and slippers but as for using my products and en-suite, they’d be welcome too. I think it’s mean of you, especially as it seems like they use it when you are not there!

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:59

To be honest this is the last straw. Both SC and DH treat our house like a dosshouse and I’m tired of coming home late after working hard to find a mess.

I think I’m done.

DD and I will be much happier living separately.

OP posts:
Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:57

Chocolatecrispsdrink · 02/07/2026 23:53

Personally I don't see this as something to blow your top about. It's life with teenagers surely, they mess up occasionally. Would you feel differently if it was your DD or is this level of rage just for your SD?

Edited

I’d be less angry with DD because she’s 12. If she did it, she’d probably cry and her allowance would be docked til she paid it back. SD has stormed off to her mum’s.

Both SD and DD know my en suite is off limits. They are both into skincare. If they want to try something, they can ask me and we’ll look together and I’ll sometimes say yes or sometimes I’ll direct them to something more suitable to their skin and age.

The fact that SD has repeatedly been going into my private space and taking what she wants, whilst I’m away working hard for our family, makes me absolutely furious.

OP posts:
DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:56

Flamingcoming · 02/07/2026 23:37

Perhaps they have different rules/use of house at their mum’s. Me and DH have an en-suite. Teen dd and 20yo ds are allowed in there at any time and can use anything they see in there. My dd also is happy for me to go into her room and borrow stuff. I used one of her body sprays today. She was sitting there happily. My ds is actually in my en-suite right now.
that said, if you’ve specifically said very clearly not to, then she’s been rather disrespectful. The dressing gown is the worst part IMO.

Why?? SD was clean when she put it on! She doesn't have fleas.

DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:55

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:50

This. Both SD and DD are very interested and aware of the cost of skincare products.

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But being at school still, do they understand how much these things cost from an adult perspective, when you have bills and a responsible job to pay for them?

I would be kind to her and offer to help her pick out a range suitable for young skin from a nice brand (and buy it for her) but that's just me. Glow Recipe is suitable and has such lovely scents that she'll probably leave your old-lady Chanel alone! 🤣

I don't think there's any need to put a lock on the bathroom door, but a lock on a cupboard where you can put your really expensive products might be a good idea.

Chocolatecrispsdrink · 02/07/2026 23:53

Personally I don't see this as something to blow your top about. It's life with teenagers surely, they mess up occasionally. Would you feel differently if it was your DD or is this level of rage just for your SD?

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:50

AliceMcK · 02/07/2026 23:47

I assure you kids these days know exactly how much skin care costs and brands. Most kids these days have far more expensive products than some of their parents, I know my DDs will save and spend far more on premium products than I ever would and my oldest is only 14yo.

The only way a 17yo girl these days would not understand that a Chanel face cream is not cheap is if they were ND and not at all interested in skincare, in which case they would not be using OPs bathroom and products.

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This. Both SD and DD are very interested and aware of the cost of skincare products.

OP posts:
DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:50

Tink3rbell30 · 02/07/2026 23:37

Very weird and uptight. What are people hiding in their bedrooms and bathrooms 😂

Some people are very weird and uptight! My sister guards her time at home with her family so jealously and is so insistent that anyone outside her husband and young-adult kids changes the dynamic that I seriously wonder if they're secretly naturists!

SnozPoz · 02/07/2026 23:50

Gees... take a chill pill. And choose your battles. She feels comfortable enough in her relationship with you to do this. That's a massive win. I wouldn't be losing my shit I'd be giving her a hug and a kiss and asking her to ask you next time.

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:50

Ladamesansmerci · 02/07/2026 23:47

I wouldn't care tbh, though I can understand why others would! I love Lush products and yeah, I'd find it mildly annoying, but whatever. It would fall under the category or irritating but normal and not worth bothering about for me.

I think I just remember being a teen, and barging into my mum's en suite when she was bathing without a second thought (probably to ask for something, lol), whereas I'd have gone crazy if my mum walked in on me 😂 I also defo used to pinch my mum's socks, make up, lipstick, etc. My parents were pretty strict and I've grown up to be a very polite and normal adult, but teens are gonna teen 😁

If it bothers you that much, get a lock, or hide the stuff you don't want her using.

Edited

Why the fuck should I put a lock on an internal door in my own home?

OP posts:
Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:49

DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:45

It was 50 pounds a minute ago!

OK, but if what you say is true, I still think the best approach is to kill her with kindness and buy her some nice potions.

At least you know she was clean when she used your dressing gown!

Does she have access to her own bath, or is it all showers in the kids' bathrooms? If yours is the only bath, maybe she just wanted a hot bath.

Edited
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So you can read my posts well enough to cross check the costs, but not the one where I clearly say she has access to another bath?

There were multiple creams laid out, I know she was using a Chanel £70 one as it was on the bed but there were others open in the bathroom.

OP posts:
Ladamesansmerci · 02/07/2026 23:47

I wouldn't care tbh, though I can understand why others would! I love Lush products and yeah, I'd find it mildly annoying, but whatever. It would fall under the category or irritating but normal and not worth bothering about for me.

I think I just remember being a teen, and barging into my mum's en suite when she was bathing without a second thought (probably to ask for something, lol), whereas I'd have gone crazy if my mum walked in on me 😂 I also defo used to pinch my mum's socks, make up, lipstick, etc. My parents were pretty strict and I've grown up to be a very polite and normal adult, but teens are gonna teen 😁

If it bothers you that much, get a lock, or hide the stuff you don't want her using.

AliceMcK · 02/07/2026 23:47

DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:42

At 17, she may not have realised how much that stuff costs. I had no exposure to expensive skincare at all until I was 22 and had a part-time job in a department store while studying. (They had a beauty dept.)

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I assure you kids these days know exactly how much skin care costs and brands. Most kids these days have far more expensive products than some of their parents, I know my DDs will save and spend far more on premium products than I ever would and my oldest is only 14yo.

The only way a 17yo girl these days would not understand that a Chanel face cream is not cheap is if they were ND and not at all interested in skincare, in which case they would not be using OPs bathroom and products.

Original poster
EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:47

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/07/2026 23:43

It’s more the fact dh knew it was happening and didn’t do or say anything

using costly toiletries - prob a mum thing - mini blondes acquires my stuff and shes 9 !

but no need to use her bath , esp as one in kids bathroom but kore the use of her personal clothes /dressing gown

He says he didn’t know and was downstairs cooking. He knew SD goes in our bedroom sometimes apparently but didn’t know she takes baths. DD did but didn’t want to get her step sister in trouble.

OP posts:
DimwittedSkater · 02/07/2026 23:45

EasterEstherEgg · 02/07/2026 23:41

She doesn’t want a Lush bath bomb, she wants to use my £70 Chanel facial moisturiser as a body lotion. She’s perfectly capable and knows how much it costs. This is a fuck you, to me.

I’m away on international business 2-3 nights a week, away from my own child, to pay for this fucking house and everything that goes with paying 75% of our bills. The least she could do is respect my (very few) boundaries.

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It was 50 pounds a minute ago!

OK, but if what you say is true, I still think the best approach is to kill her with kindness and buy her some nice potions.

At least you know she was clean when she used your dressing gown!

Does she have access to her own bath, or is it all showers in the kids' bathrooms? If yours is the only bath, maybe she just wanted a hot bath.