To ban SD from my en suite?!

This. If her Dad has okayed her using the ensuite, thats one thing. But the using of your products and wearing your items is cheeky fuckery!!

Does she have her own dressing gown and slippers?

@Flamingojune

lol you’re funny

Buy her new bottles of the products she used and give her a big hug when you give them to her

@ThatCyanCat

im not expecting teens to be able to buy high end products! Wanting to buy them though gives them motivation to work hard, study hard, whatever to have the means to actually buy them.

Why do you feel such savage hatred of teenagers you have never met that you are likening them to animals? It's weird. What have they done to you?

And, againz I expect the SD will be thrilled to live apart from a woman who bans her from parts of the house and describes her as a "pig" - it would definitely be worth a drop in lifestyle standard to escape that I would think

What makes you assume that the teens here are so insanely materialistic that they prize their expensive lifestyles over a happy, peaceful home? Are your own kids like that? Mine isn't, thank God.

I'll leave aside your extremely optimistic view of teenagers' earning capacity for high end products to say only that you've completely missed the point. I'm not saying it's ok to use stuff without permission, just like it wasn't ok for me to use my dad's razor or secretly try on my sister's clothes. I'm just saying it's teenagers being teenagers and not this huge, sinister, malicious, spiteful, Cersei Lannister-style power move. It's just teenagers using stuff they shouldn't because that's what teens do.

And as is so often the case, it seems the problem is actually with the adults in this situation (which they created)... and yet it's all getting deflected on to the kids.⁸

@ThatCyanCat

erm, no…. If they want to experience nice premium products then they should work hard and then buy them for themselves! Not steal other people’s! It’s good for the work ethic

Her silly little power play has backfired on her because she’s now looking at a serious lifestyle downgrade by ultimately doing OP a favor.

A teenage girl pinching some toiletries is a "power play", my God. It's not Game of Thrones. Are you one of the posters who were falling over themselves the other week to call an unwell 16 year old a cunt because she made a rude comment that was overheard?

Some people vastly overestimate the power of teenagers. The kid didn't make the decision to have this living arrangement, the grown ups did. If they decide they no longer like it, that's their fault. OP admitted her husband is a dick. So sick of adults making bad decisions and then blaming it all on the kids who probably never wanted the change to begin with.

Tell me you're a teenage girl without telling me you are a teenage girl.

Great to read you continue to thrive.
I hope your son is doing well.

Of course OP has every right to her things.
Only on batshit MN do you read otherwise.

I wouldn't tolerate this from my girls, thankfully they know better.

In fairness they do have more expensive taste in cosmetics than me🙄...but still I have the horrendously expensive vintage hand bags, that they do always ask to borrow first.

I wouldn't be one bit impressed to find them in my things without asking.

This is very basic manners.

Of course you can mark out your own personal space, and personal belongings, within a family.

You may not, but plenty of people do in fact have their own private spaces in family homes. It’s utterly normal to do so, even. Presumably the stepdaughter has her own room and belongings she wouldn’t want Op freely using, so I highly doubt private space is alien to her.

The ‘best way to deal with it’ isn’t by giving the stepdaughter exactly what she wants and totally ignoring OP’s wishes in the home that she pays for. The best way to deal with disrespectful pigs is by jettisoning them, as it seems OP is doing.

Her silly little power play has backfired on her because she’s now looking at a serious lifestyle downgrade by ultimately doing OP a favor.

Surely there’s a middle ground- where they use the en-suite when you’re away but not your stuff?

@TaraRhu you don't get to make out your territory

this is so wrong. In a shared house your territory as you call it, but it’s really your own private space, is absolutely everything

I’m sure the SD wouldn’t like it if the whole family camped out in her private space for the night

Because in a family situation
you don't get to make out your territory! It's all the same territory! It's a family home not a house share. By marking it out you are marking the kids out and I suspect they feel quite put out, why could one of them
not sit on their bed and have a chat with their dad? They aren't mucky dogs. I'm not surprised ds is taking revenge!

Quite honestly, the best way to deal with this is to just say ' why don't you have a nice bath in the ensuite and help yourself to whatever' I bet then the SD will have no interest in it at all.

I’ve not RTFT but I’ve read all your posts. As someone who just (a few months ago) asked DP and his three kids to move out of the house that I bought and they were trashing, I just want to say that you will be happier when it’s just you and your DC. I am. Good luck.

It’s accurate. If she doesn’t want to be called a disrespectful pig she should refrain from being one.

The DH and the stepdaughter have doomed the family, and the lifestyle OP was providing for them, themselves.

It’s OP’s territory to mark, and her personal belongs. OP wouldn’t need to assert her power if the stepdaughter afforded her the respect OP’s own daughter manages to.

Clearly the stepdaughter choosing to ignore basic boundaries and using her things does bother her. So what if her (soon to be former) isn’t a random person?

I think you are both marking you territory. You are an adult though . Seriously, why would you mind a teenager using your en-suite and some smellies bother you? Sounds like you are asserting your power not protecting privacy. She's not some random person she's your step daughter.

And meant for the face. How far do you think it would go on legs ?

Please do, I'm hoping it will catch on and those of us who can apparently read can use it freely. Because let's face it, how many times have we read a bonkers reply but really can't be bothered pointing out the absurdity of the reply. Be typing all bloody night otherwise...

can I steal this please?

I rarely comment on posts, only when I think I can either offer help or situations like these when the OP is being trashed by people who either obviously haven't bothered to actually read her posts properly or are just plain nasty for whatever reason they feel the need to be.

Anyway, think I will just use a ⏰ symbol in future, stands for Complete Lack Of Comprehension skills, will save a lot of time, (no pun intended).

I agree, women don't have to give up their sense of self when becoming mothers. We are still individuals in our own right with wants and needs and deserve as much out of life as the next person.

Divorce him OP. Youre sacrificing so much and he damn well knew exactly what his daughter was up to.

Maybe the OP just doesn’t want to be a martyr to a disrespectful teenager who is living a great life on her dime?

I wouldn’t even waste any time on this. Just a rent-a bash stepmum post