To ban SD from my en suite?!

Blimey. You don’t have to be ND to be uninterested in and/or unknowledgeable about the price of (ludicrously expensive) skincare products, you know! You just need to be more interested in more worthwhile things in life.

Sounds long overdue, personally...

Get moving on getting the disrespectful users out...

So she can use her mums things then. OP isn’t her mum 🙄.

You sound awful. I used to love using mums things. It felt like a luxury. Ive never known a family not allow their children to use a specific bathroom. Strangers yes but not children of the house

Maybe that was SD's plan all along. I'd leave too, it will not improve.

I had a feeling this might be the case .

So sorry, OP.

I'd be enraged by the disrespect and deception. Boundary trampling. I might not mind someone using the en suite while I was away—if they treated it with care and left it as they found it. However, she certainly doesn't need to use your toiletries, dressing gown, and slippers. I'm surprised she wants to use someone else's dressing gown, honestly. There's a certain 'ew factor' there.

The attitude on here to the OP because it's a step child is amazing. It doesn't matter if it's a step child. If she was her own daughter she doesn't have the right to enter the parents bedroom unless she asks and certainly should not be taking bathroom items that are personal to the OP. My daughters are not allowed take my items, honestly if they run out of shampoo from their room I don't mind if they take it from mine, they are supposed to ask, but I'd be really pissed off if they took something special without asking. And yes of course they've sneaked into my room and tried on my clothes and all sorts over the years.

And just because some mothers on here don't mind their daughters using their bathrooms, that doesn't apply to others, so have respect for our wishes.

Fuck that. I’d hate it!

Sounds like the issue is you are subsidising the whole household and they can’t be bothered to show respect and take it for granted. I suspect your husband is going for plausible deniability so he didn’t have to get involved. Do you also pay for treats, clubs etc for SD? If so, maybe stop that for a couple of weeks? Did she apologise? Teenagers aren’t generally very gracious when in the wrong ..

Well done to your husband for actually dealing with it!

Whats the thinking behind it, do you reckon?

A. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to use it (genuinely thinks this)?
B. I really wanted to use it and just hoped you wouldn’t find out?
C. I wanted to use it, knew I wasn’t allowed, knew it was expensive and don’t care what you think?

or something else?!

Yes I would be annoyed op. Quite brazen isnt it! Does she not buy her own stuff.

YANBU!!!!!

DSD stole my false tan from our en-suite recently. I know it seems like a small thing, but she is also regularly ‘borrowing’ DDs products and clothes too.

It wasn’t a cheap one either - I have an expensive one for if we are going somewhere nice and then cheaper ones that are ‘daily’ ones. She took the expensive one and used it all!!

I’ve literally had to move all my nice products back into our room and hide them.

God knows what else she has taken that I haven’t noticed yet - I only noticed because we were actually going somewhere nice, couldn’t locate it and I ended up having to use my cheap one and smelt like biscuits all night. I was not best pleased!!! Found the empty bottle in her room a few days later.

I told DP - he was completely on my side and has dealt with it. Although I do not trust her to not take things in future.

DP should be firm with you on this - if she needs a bathrobe, slippers, products etc, he needs to buy some for her for her own use.

She did make a mistake marrying him.
He knew his dd was going into their bedroom, what did he think she was doing in there.
Sd's toiletries etc would be in her bedroom or the family bathroom, she had no business going into the ensuite.

Then the step kids don’t come to your house while you are away as you can’t trust them and the CF thief - as that’s what it is stealing taking something that doesn’t belong to you! - is nearly an adult so she knows full well what she’s doing! This would be me ending my marriage frankly! Get your husband and his spawn out of your house!!

The husband doesn't have the right to give his DD permission to use the OP's things though does he??

Really thats what you get?

Op calls her husband and step children disrespectful pigs. Indicates the mothers home is nowhere near as nice (nits/ringworm)

The OP clearly sees her husband and hia children as lower class to her.

everyone missing the point that DH knew she was using the ensuite so therefore allowed it/gave permission, its his ensuite too or does he get no say either

the thread is not even about the step daughter, its about the OP’s resentment towards her husband and his family & the fact she feels she made a mistake marrying him

The martyrdom on this thread is hilarious. 😂

Who in their right mind would allow someone to waste their £70 facial moisturiser and then say "ah how sweet of her"? What are you all teaching your teenagers? Mine are absolutely banned from wasting my stuff, they have their own things. They can borrow mine if they ask but not my expensive things.

I had all this shit with sd

Shed use all my products (in one case she used all the razors I'd bought and shrugged when I went loony about it,I buy in bulk and nobody should be going through 60 razors in 3 weeks)

She'd use half a bottle of bedhead shampoo (they are massive bottles) each hair wash and look tell me to 'buy some more' when I called her out on it (nobody needs to use that much shampoo)

She used a full tub of dark angels face scrub and laughed when I went to use it (I don't use expensive products but lush used to be a massive treat and I only bought it as we where near one that was 200 miles away from home,so not like i could nip out and buy more-i now avoid lush thanks to their woke views)

She'd wear and tear my tights (£7/8 a pair from better tights) and laugh when I went to wear them,finding them ruined

I had a massive dp problem (he stuck up for her) and we almost broke up over it

She moved out and is finding that she has to make products go much further and cant afford to ruin what she uses

She hates me but I won't have her back,I work hard for my money and budget for my stuff-nobody has the right to use it all up

Bet you still have some boundaries in place! Things that teenagers push against and need reinforcement by their parents. That's part of being a decent parent. OP's boundaries happen to be different to yours. So what?! Boundaries still need reinforcing!!

Unless DH is expected to babysit 17yo all the time, 17yo will most likely find times to use the bathroom when DH isn’t around.

17yo should have more respect for boundaries, but it’s like toddlers and tantrums - pushing boundaries is what they do. As she’s demonstrated she can’t be trusted in this way,
OP needs to do the equivalent of carrying the screaming toddler out of the supermarket. At least a lock on the door doesn’t have everyone staring…

You're clearly better than all of us

Considering the state this grown man feels it’s okay to leave the toilet in, I absolutely can.

I'd be livid too OP. And this isn't the same as a one-off use of products for their intended useage because you are away or whatever. Its a piss take that I suspect is the straw that broke the camels back in a catalogue of piss takes.

I totally get it and it would make me absolutely furious too. Clearly you don’t treat yourself to very expensive facial treatments which generally come in very small pots for teenagers to use on their bodies. And clearly she knows it too or she wouldn’t be doing it sneakily when she thinks the coast is clear.
if DH doesn’t understand that this is an important boundary for you then you have a DH problem.