Im a 33 year female. My boyfriend is 31.
His brother is 28. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years.
We moved in together this year..
My boyfriend is easygoing, loyal, lovely, slow to anger, quiet yet passionate and I dont believe we've ever had a proper fight. We both hate conflict and generally deal with the issue there and then.
However.
He is extremely close with his family and lived with them all this time. They are nice enough and have been like a second family to me but they are strangely too close. Their daughter is 23, the brother 28 and obviously my boyfriend 31. The bro and sis still live with the parents. I love that theyre close but since moving in with him the bro and sis have been either staying over at least once a week in our spare room (separate times obviously).
The last 3 weekends his brother who drinks a TON until about 4am has called my boyfriend asking to sleep over in our spare room. He expects to then stay here hungover until around dinnertime the next day. I set the boundary right away with my bought stating I know his bros patterns as I used to stay with my boyfriend and his fam but he assured it would not be a regular thing.
I have extreme anxiety and a chronic stomach condition and last night I flared terribly. I was up most the night and when I finally got to sleep past 3am my boyfriend said "babe ive told John he can come round and stay as hes been at the bar".
I immediately told him no, that I was feeling like crap and didnt want to entertain whilst I was not only unwell but sleep deprived from the heatwave and other anxieties.
John was angry at my boyfriend and tried hard to twist his arm. Eventually my boyfriend got him to go home.
This morning I happened to look at my boyfriends phone when his mum messaged
"Your girlfriend needs to grow up and get over her stupid anxiety and illness. So many people have it worse than her and you have plenty of room!"
I was absolutely FUMING and nearly called her having it out with her but decided to let the air breathe.
Please, im begging. Am I being unreasonable? Are we both in the wrong?