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AIBU to think neighbours should not be naked in their garden?

669 replies

babypickles · 25/06/2026 20:06

For context: Our house is on a new build estate and the houses are pretty close together. It’s fairly easy to see into neighbours gardens because the trees etc are not well established yet.

AIBU to say my neighbours shouldn’t be naked in their garden. They are often out in the garden totally naked taking photos of themselves. They have parties quite often and it’s not uncommon for them and friends to be out in the garden naked / using the hot tub etc.

Am I being a killjoy ? Seems excessive to me.

OP posts:
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5
CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 15:17

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 14:57

If a private garden is overlooked, then by definition it isn't private. Exhibitionism is a thing. I'm sure most naturists aren't exhibitionists, but a few are and children deserve to be protected from them.

In OP's case, it definitely sounds like these people are getting some sort of kick out of the thought that their neighbours might see them.

It doesn't matter if a garden is overlooked or not. It is still a private space.
You are not entitled to go into someone's garden without their permission.

I think you are confusing secluded with private. The law does not.

In OP's case you have zero knowledge of the situation - zero facts other than OPs reporting of it, and she has not intimated that they're being exhibitionist, nor that they are getting a kick out of it.

Making up facts to bolster your argument is not nice.

Exhibitionism is a thing. I'm sure most naturists aren't exhibitionists, but a few are and children deserve to be protected from them

100% agree. But...
Exhibitionism is considered a crime when it involves exposing your genitals if the act is done with the intent to cause alarm, distress, or sexual gratification.

Should we stop people playing baseball because some bad people hit others with a baseball bat? Shouldn't children be protected against being hit with a baseball bat????

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 15:08

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 14:52

I don't think that's a useful comparison at all. Not remotely the same thing. And even if it was, I could just as well argue that it 'borders on fascist' to suggest we should let everyone start walking around stark naked, particularly if you're advocating for it among children too. We all know there are bad people out there.

But aside from that, those who just don't want to be confronted with strangers' exposed genitals while going about our day are entitled to have that respected and are, I believe, still in the majority in this country. If people want to walk around naked there are plenty of places they can do that. Most people don't.

I don't think that's a useful comparison at all.
Well obviously you don't. Since it highlights the fallacy in your thinking.

Not remotely the same thing.
It's not enough to just assert that. It's exactly the same thing - hiding people away because you don't want to look at them or acknowledge their existence except in their own hidden space.

And even if it was, I could just as well argue that it 'borders on fascist' to suggest we should let everyone start walking around stark naked, particularly if you're advocating for it among children too.
Note your use of the word let. Not the word force.
You would force people to do as you want, not permit them to make their own personal choice.

Fascism: prioritizes unity of the nation or race over individual liberties. Typically using centralised control to achieve total societal compliance

We all know there are bad people out there.
And your point is - other than "will nobody think of the children"?

What percentage of (actual) crimes against children have been performed by people who were naked in public?

But aside from that, those who just don't want to be confronted with strangers' exposed genitals while going about our day are entitled to have that respected and are, I believe, still in the majority in this country.
No - just no. You say "entitled" and that's exactly what your stance is. I'd like not to have to be confronted by people with body odour - but, guess what, I don't get to dictate their bathroom routines. Your entitlement never trumps others liberties. Beware, for someday you'll find other people want to stop you doing things you find perfectly reasonable.

Oh - and the only time the majority matters is in a vote, or when you get pitchforks out.

If people want to walk around naked there are plenty of places they can do that.
Yes - they can do it in their home. They can do it in public as well.
Why won't you accept that?
Why do you think your personal preferences should override the law?

Most people don't.
And they don't have to. That's how libertarianism works.
Most people also don't play pool, poker, etc ... should we stop the people that do?

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 14:57

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 14:53

Tesco is not a public space.

It is a private space, with customer behaviour subject to Tesco's own policies.

If a private garden is overlooked, then by definition it isn't private. Exhibitionism is a thing. I'm sure most naturists aren't exhibitionists, but a few are and children deserve to be protected from them.

In OP's case, it definitely sounds like these people are getting some sort of kick out of the thought that their neighbours might see them.

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 14:53

MichaelScottPaper · 28/06/2026 14:46

That’s true. Sure why don’t you pop to Tesco naked and test your theory? If 1 in 7 people are naturists and there are at least 14 people in your local Tesco you can reasonably expect to see another naked person besides yourself. Let us know how you get on.

Tesco is not a public space.

It is a private space, with customer behaviour subject to Tesco's own policies.

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 14:52

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 13:55

Regardless of whether or not they wanted to?

That's a specious argument and frankly something that goes back about 50 years. Once upon a time people didn't want to see "cripples" or "disfigured" etc, and we used to hide "odd people" away in institutions ... not because they were dangerous but because others liked to pretend they didn't exist - "offending right-minded people" is a phrase that comes to mind.

Quite frankly there's a lot of people, places, and situations I don't want to see but they're part of the world just as I am. I'm grounded in reality not a fantasy version of it.

It borders on fascist to start dictating to others what they can do to suit your view of the world, when they are not actually causing you harm - just offending sensibilities that have been bred into them by hiding things away from them.

I don't think that's a useful comparison at all. Not remotely the same thing. And even if it was, I could just as well argue that it 'borders on fascist' to suggest we should let everyone start walking around stark naked, particularly if you're advocating for it among children too. We all know there are bad people out there.

But aside from that, those who just don't want to be confronted with strangers' exposed genitals while going about our day are entitled to have that respected and are, I believe, still in the majority in this country. If people want to walk around naked there are plenty of places they can do that. Most people don't.

MichaelScottPaper · 28/06/2026 14:46

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:34

So clearly you’ve just disproved your own argument. If 1 in 7 people identify as naturists then obviously they’re not isolated from cultural norms are they? If you can see seven back gardens from your house, by simple logic you could reasonably expect to see one naked person.

That’s true. Sure why don’t you pop to Tesco naked and test your theory? If 1 in 7 people are naturists and there are at least 14 people in your local Tesco you can reasonably expect to see another naked person besides yourself. Let us know how you get on.

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:34

So clearly you’ve just disproved your own argument. If 1 in 7 people identify as naturists then obviously they’re not isolated from cultural norms are they? If you can see seven back gardens from your house, by simple logic you could reasonably expect to see one naked person.

MichaelScottPaper · 28/06/2026 14:28

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:15

So just 8-9% of the population go to nightclubs. Would you describe them as a “fringe sub-culture”?

I didn’t use that term but a quick google has told me that a “fringe subculture” is a group defined by their intense isolation from, or direct opposition to, established cultural norms. I can’t think what established cultural norm night clubbing is in opposition to so, no?

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:15

MichaelScottPaper · 28/06/2026 14:08

Put another way - 86% of the UK population AREN’T nudists and obviously don’t think it’s weird to wear clothes in their back garden 😂

So just 8-9% of the population go to nightclubs. Would you describe them as a “fringe sub-culture”?

MichaelScottPaper · 28/06/2026 14:08

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:05

According to recent extensive research by IPSOS, some 6.75 million people in the UK identify as naturists or nudists. That’s 1 in 7 people. So naturism isn’t some “fringe sub-culture”. It’s mainstream and perfectly normal. It would seem your sweeping generalisations about “UK culture” are somewhat erroneous wouldn’t it?

Put another way - 86% of the UK population AREN’T nudists and obviously don’t think it’s weird to wear clothes in their back garden 😂

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 14:05

BunfightBetty · 28/06/2026 13:35

Clearly, I am talking about the mainstream British culture, not fringe sub-cultures with tiny numbers of adherents, who hold their events in specific places and contexts.

Do naturist clubs exist? Yes. Do swinging clubs exist? Yes.

Is it common and normal for people to sit around naked in public outside of those exceptions (that are usually held in private)? No.

It isn’t usual to see people in the nude in overlooked suburban back gardens in the UK. It never has been.

I’m discussing the actual scenario in the OP, not some hypothetical scenarios the OP isn’t asking about.

According to recent extensive research by IPSOS, some 6.75 million people in the UK identify as naturists or nudists. That’s 1 in 7 people. So naturism isn’t some “fringe sub-culture”. It’s mainstream and perfectly normal. It would seem your sweeping generalisations about “UK culture” are somewhat erroneous wouldn’t it?

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 13:55

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 12:24

I think the world would be a much more healthy place if everyone saw real naked bodies on a daily basis.

Regardless of whether or not they wanted to?

Regardless of whether or not they wanted to?

That's a specious argument and frankly something that goes back about 50 years. Once upon a time people didn't want to see "cripples" or "disfigured" etc, and we used to hide "odd people" away in institutions ... not because they were dangerous but because others liked to pretend they didn't exist - "offending right-minded people" is a phrase that comes to mind.

Quite frankly there's a lot of people, places, and situations I don't want to see but they're part of the world just as I am. I'm grounded in reality not a fantasy version of it.

It borders on fascist to start dictating to others what they can do to suit your view of the world, when they are not actually causing you harm - just offending sensibilities that have been bred into them by hiding things away from them.

BunfightBetty · 28/06/2026 13:35

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 13:09

In your particular culture perhaps, but please don’t assume you’re speaking for all of us. If that were the case then naturist beaches, clubs and communities wouldn’t exist would they?

Clearly, I am talking about the mainstream British culture, not fringe sub-cultures with tiny numbers of adherents, who hold their events in specific places and contexts.

Do naturist clubs exist? Yes. Do swinging clubs exist? Yes.

Is it common and normal for people to sit around naked in public outside of those exceptions (that are usually held in private)? No.

It isn’t usual to see people in the nude in overlooked suburban back gardens in the UK. It never has been.

I’m discussing the actual scenario in the OP, not some hypothetical scenarios the OP isn’t asking about.

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 13:09

BunfightBetty · 28/06/2026 13:01

I expect the poster thinks they’re weirdos because in UK culture we don’t sit in the bath in the nude with our friends. Only partners. As I’m sure you know.

In your particular culture perhaps, but please don’t assume you’re speaking for all of us. If that were the case then naturist beaches, clubs and communities wouldn’t exist would they?

BunfightBetty · 28/06/2026 13:01

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 12:57

How are they ‘weirdos’? 🤔 Surely by any logic it’s more of a weird concept to put on an item of clothing specifically for it to get wet in a pool or hot tub? It makes much more sense to swim naked, as bare skin dries much quicker afterwards than a soggy wet costume, not to mention more comfortable, and more hygienic too, as swimwear harbours more sweat and bacteria than bare skin.

I expect the poster thinks they’re weirdos because in UK culture we don’t sit in the bath in the nude with our friends. Only partners. As I’m sure you know.

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 12:57

BurnoutBee · 27/06/2026 20:01

It Isn’t even remotely normal to do that when you have other houses overlooking your garden. Like I’m all for live and let live but if there’s multiple naked people in a hot tub next door who are chilling having a gangbang then yeah it’s pretty inappropriate if your own child can see from their window.

Weirdos.

How are they ‘weirdos’? 🤔 Surely by any logic it’s more of a weird concept to put on an item of clothing specifically for it to get wet in a pool or hot tub? It makes much more sense to swim naked, as bare skin dries much quicker afterwards than a soggy wet costume, not to mention more comfortable, and more hygienic too, as swimwear harbours more sweat and bacteria than bare skin.

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 12:45

AnonymityAnonymity · 27/06/2026 07:32

Yes so many things that is so awful about the state of the UK now comes back to Thatcher for me: "'There's no such thing as Society" Just mainly a collection.of selfish individuals who don't care a damn about anyone apart from themselves.
And those of us who do still care about the communities we live in and about maintaining standards and decency and about other people are mocked and derided and labelled judgemental.

Exactly this. It's the cult of the individual writ large, and I agree Thatcherism has a lot to answer for in this regard.

I wonder if any of the 'it takes a village to raise a child' brigade are among those on here advocating for wholesale nudity, and if so, whether they'd stand by that if their children were having to see their neighbours with everything on display whenever they popped over to borrow a cup of sugar. Mind you, not much would surprise me after reading some of the comments on here.

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 12:33

I'm actually starting to find parts of this thread somewhat disturbing in terms of how many people think it's fine if children see naked strangers. It sounds like if some pps had their way none of us would have any say in the matter, and could be confronted by swinging dicks and jiggling arses at any moment while going about our daily business. No bloody thank you. Not wanting that isn't the same thing as being a prude.

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 12:24

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 08:01

Particularly the male variety, which nakedness renders clearly visible in all it's ridiculousness, if the intent to display is not sexual, and threatening, if the intent to display is sexual.

This, to me, is about as sexist as it is possible to get. It is belittling and insulting to half the people on the planet who have zero control over their body.

If you were a man, complaining that you don't want to see a fat women in a bikini because they look ridiculous or unattractive the world would be up in arms.

I think the world would be a much more healthy place if everyone saw real naked bodies on a daily basis. Then perhaps people, girls particularly, might stop obsessing about how they look and realise that it's what we do and how we think that matters far more.

I think the world would be a much more healthy place if everyone saw real naked bodies on a daily basis.

Regardless of whether or not they wanted to?

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 12:17

FlyingCatGirl · 28/06/2026 10:57

But would you want a little girl looking out of her bedroom window and seeing naked men! Naturist places exist for a reason so that nobody is flashing a child for one!

Objectively, and I mean objectively, just what is wrong with a girl seeing a naked man, or a boy seeing a naked woman.

It's not a sexual thing. Its pretty damn natural.

Why is it OK for little girls to see male dogs as they walk around. Hell, they even see them copulating ! Would you advocate nappies for them all?

Seriously. If you hide and protect your children from perfectly normal natural things, they will grow up scared and ashamed because you've inculcated an irrational fear of them, and an expectation that only the carefully curated beauty of images on the Internet are acceptable.

Myli1 · 28/06/2026 12:06

FlyingCatGirl · 28/06/2026 10:57

But would you want a little girl looking out of her bedroom window and seeing naked men! Naturist places exist for a reason so that nobody is flashing a child for one!

The ‘naturist places’ that you allude to are also family places. There is no reason to shield children from simple nudity. Much better they grow up with the understanding of what real human bodies look like in all their shapes, sizes and colours, rather than having to form their impressions from unrealistic and airbrushed imagery in magazines and videos etc.

FlyingCatGirl · 28/06/2026 10:57

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 28/06/2026 08:01

Particularly the male variety, which nakedness renders clearly visible in all it's ridiculousness, if the intent to display is not sexual, and threatening, if the intent to display is sexual.

This, to me, is about as sexist as it is possible to get. It is belittling and insulting to half the people on the planet who have zero control over their body.

If you were a man, complaining that you don't want to see a fat women in a bikini because they look ridiculous or unattractive the world would be up in arms.

I think the world would be a much more healthy place if everyone saw real naked bodies on a daily basis. Then perhaps people, girls particularly, might stop obsessing about how they look and realise that it's what we do and how we think that matters far more.

But would you want a little girl looking out of her bedroom window and seeing naked men! Naturist places exist for a reason so that nobody is flashing a child for one!

FlyingCatGirl · 28/06/2026 10:55

OneZanyPoet · 25/06/2026 20:26

If the worst thing that happens to you today is you catch a glimpse of a human body before you choose to look away, consider yourself lucky. They can do whatever they want in their own garden, good for them.

You have to think about whether it's appropriate, on new build estates houses tend to be crammed in witn countless houses looking over every garden, if you had a little girl for example, would you think it appropriate to be looking at naked men everytime she looks out of her bedroom window?

ruethewhirl · 28/06/2026 09:44

LakieLady · 27/06/2026 19:13

I don't get it, either. After all, we've all got them (well, women do, men have different bits but they all have the same, too).

We all piss and shit too, but presumably you wouldn't do that in front of your neighbours.

Jewelanemone · 28/06/2026 08:50

I want to know what happened at the party 🥳