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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Transgender niece

358 replies

Stargazelamb · 19/06/2026 20:26

My niece lives in another country and I’ve just heard that she is becoming a he. She has changed her name, is taking hormone medication and now has facial hair. She is a transgender boy. However she sees herself as a boy. AIBU to think she will never be a biological boy and to refer to her as a transgender boy? I realise this could be an emotive topic.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 19/06/2026 22:51

A performance of masculinity or femininity does not a reality make.

LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:50

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:47

Well yeah, that’s how discussion forums work. You comment on topics that interest you. Hence why I don’t go near baby names. Baffling.

Yeah right

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:49

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:40

Maybe to people called Karen. I’m not so I don’t really care. I’m just cringing at these responses.

No you aren't. People like you aren't used to being challenged on the information you regurgitate, and now you're seething at being called out for having nothing of substance, no knowledge beyond surface level.

So then you try to berate and shame and deflect. People like you are a dime a dozen. Sozzlez to break it to ya.

Later!!! 😘

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:47

LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:45

...And it was right up your street.

Well yeah, that’s how discussion forums work. You comment on topics that interest you. Hence why I don’t go near baby names. Baffling.

Twattergy · 19/06/2026 22:46

In my case I use the name and pronouns my nephew wants. I've never had to use the word trans when talking to him. But if I have to describe him to others, I do say he's a trans man. Personally I know she is female but that makes no difference in my family or with him, because I dont think its that important ultimately. He's the one living it and I want him to be happy.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

👍

Edited to add - I did chuckle that you managed to get ‘cult’ in there. You said it.

LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:45

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:44

Or.. it appeared in Trending.

...And it was right up your street.

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:45

This reply has been deleted

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RudolphTheReindeer · 19/06/2026 22:45

shuggles · 19/06/2026 21:23

@aliceyyyy2654 by dressing in male identified clothes

"Male identified clothes" don't exist.

I don't choose my clothes based on the fact that I'm a man. Who on earth dresses on the basis of their sex? That sounds utterly bizarre.

So you wear Dresses, skirts, Bras and get your trousers and underwear from the women's department then?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:44

LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:41

Klaxon went off 'Trans thread in AIBU'

FWR assemble!

Or.. it appeared in Trending.

LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:41

Klaxon went off 'Trans thread in AIBU'

FWR assemble!

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:40

aliceyyyy2654 · 19/06/2026 22:38

Oop careful calling them Karen, they think it’s derogatory

Maybe to people called Karen. I’m not so I don’t really care. I’m just cringing at these responses.

laurini · 19/06/2026 22:39

Cant you just go along with his wishes? What harm does it do you?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:39

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This is the level of the TRA ‘debate’ 🤣. And throw in a ‘Karen’ to boot. So predictable it’s almost tragic.

aliceyyyy2654 · 19/06/2026 22:38

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Oop careful calling them Karen, they think it’s derogatory

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:37

This reply has been deleted

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LilacDrift · 19/06/2026 22:34

And along comes the pile on. Just like the OP intended.

Are some of you new to the internet? Scrap that, I doubt some of you care if it's real or not.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:34

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:28

Thanks for once more demonstrating that people like you have absolutely no substance or knowledge, beyond the surface level of the tropes you so confidently screech into your echo chamber lol.

Between safe spaces, safeguarding, ideology etc etc there isn't a buzzword or phrase you won't nick and misuse 😂

Thanks for the word salad that doesn’t mean anything.

Knowing basic biology isn’t an ‘echo chamber’. It’s just knowing facts. It’s like trying to debate with flat earthers. Please, prove me wrong.

RudolphTheReindeer · 19/06/2026 22:33

Stargazelamb · 19/06/2026 20:48

Because that’s what he is?

But it's not supportive is it? It's a big finger to him. I don't think you want to be supportive at all, which is your call. But that's what it is, unsupportive.

Morepositivemum · 19/06/2026 22:33

Zanatdy
You probably have little to do with the child, and even less if you insist on doing that. None of your business imo.

👏👏👏

’I recognise this is an emotive subject’

On mn? You’re starting a thread to get strangers to attack, ridicule and judge members of your family. Horrible. Op I’d have words with yourself instead. Unless this is just good old ai/ a baiting thread, which it looks like to be fair

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:32

This reply has been deleted

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Bloozie · 19/06/2026 22:31

No, he won’t be a biological boy.

If it matters more to you what his chromosomes say than how he feels when you refuse to acknowledge his transition, call him whatever you like. Your rights to challenge him on this are enshrined in law.

Most of us would just keep our noses out and wish a blood relative well on their journey, wherever it takes them.

But sure. Be the aunt that corrects his pronouns.

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:30

Mapletree1985 · 19/06/2026 22:24

It's different because same sex attraction isn't a mental illness, whereas thinking you're the opposite sex is.

Who classifies being trans as a mental illness? Which credible Organisations, anywhere in the world?

GCScot · 19/06/2026 22:30

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:09

How is this any different than the things people used to say about gays? You also sound completely insane.

The gay rights movement was about accepting gay people as who they truly are - as people who are romantically/sexually attracted to other people of the same sex

The exact opposite is happening with the trans movement: young women like the OP's niece are being encouraged NOT to accept themselves and their bodies as they truly are. They are being urged to slice their breasts off and take artificial hormones, and in the process to damage their physical and mental health

Trans rights activists have succeeded in falsely joining gay rights and trans rights together in the public mind when they are completely different things

MyBlueCritic · 19/06/2026 22:28

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/06/2026 22:21

What do you think homosexual means?

Trans people have the same rights as everyone else. Asking for additional ‘rights’ they’re not entitled to does encroach the rights of women, from trans identified men. Single sex provisions exist for a reason.

It is an ideology.

I don’t care. I prefer to live on reality island.

Thanks for once more demonstrating that people like you have absolutely no substance or knowledge, beyond the surface level of the tropes you so confidently screech into your echo chamber lol.

Between safe spaces, safeguarding, ideology etc etc there isn't a buzzword or phrase you won't nick and misuse 😂

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