Transgender niece

She is almost certainly a combination of, or has one of these features which is ASD, trauma, SA in her history

All the people that are keen to 'respect how this person wants to be referred to', they would be happy to go along with the lie of an anorexic who wants weight loss surgery, or weight loss injections, or to be referred to as overweight and obese?

I think not respecting his rights to be who he is, is incredibly abusive.

he’s 19 so parents have no control over this. This is more about respect than it is accepting whether or not you agree with transgender identity. I wouldn’t risk my relationship with a family member over pronouns and names. (Edited to add more)

I’d be happy to call James, James. But to reject material reality and be compelled to lie about who they are, or play along with delusion, that’s a firm no. There’s no love or respect in compelling someone to lie.

Obviously she’s not a boy. She’s a girl who has now been allowed to disrupt he natural hormones for no medical reason. I would be distancing myself from her parents who have allowed their perfectly healthy daughter to be dragged into a cult that in my view in not in the best interests of the child

Your best bet is maybe to avoid the topic as much as possible.
Ask how they are getting in with studies, hobbies, what music they like.
Just keep it as an elephant in the room?

It's abuse to affirm her nonsensical beliefs that may see her cutting off healthy body parts. I would not mention anything until it comes up but be clear if it does.

It’s not going to make them happy when they’re asked to use the ladies and they cannot see why they should though is it. They need to know that they cannot change sex.

Its interesting how many posters say that about "trans" people yet are happy tpo refer to woman as "cis" when they ahve been asked not to..
Its a bit of that trans double standard

I have a young person on my life who identifies differently to their biological sex.
I use their preferred name and pronouns but I find it hard to identify them as "my xx" rather than "my yy" as I've been calling them for years

Yes brilliant solution if you want to slap in the face both James and his family who are trying to support him. But if language matters more to you than love and respect, then by all means crack on.

Adjective of what? Please explain

You are not wrong @Stargazelamb . Your niece may possibly want to think again one day. It is difficult though to find a way to remain loving and supportive of her as a person but also neutral, leaving her space to neither ‘dig in’ on the one hand or feel she can’t ever change her mind on the other.

Try the “Feminism: sex and gender board.” There are knowledgeable people there who might well give much more helpful advice.

It would really help though to say how old your niece is, under or over eighteen? What sort of character? What sort of life has she had? And, it woukd help to know the country she is in as that has a bearing on the attitudes, societal pressures and laws.

He probably doesn’t think of himself as a biological man either - I know my trans relative doesn’t.

‘My niece James who is a trans identified female and her partner’. Not strange at all. It’s the reality of the situation.

They didn’t say they were changing sex. She said they are “trans gender”

OP it is absolutely no skin off your nose what they choose to do. Get a grip.

Obviously they aren’t a biological boy, but do you have to refer to them as a transgender boy to their face? Just call them by the name they ask and keep it moving.

Your niece will always be a girl OP, but for the sake of family harmony I would go along with the name change. FWIW I have a niece who has changed her name to something non-binary. So far, no pronoun change, although I won't be surprised if that follows at some point. I don't agree with any of it, but it's not my business and I don't comment.

Wouldnt it be rather strange to refer to “my niece James and his partner”?

If you want to be supportive why are you going to refer to him as a transgender boy?