Transgender niece

Do you intend to use the word "transgender" every time you refer to your nephew? This is my transgender nephew. He's a transgender boy. When he's older he may be the best(transgender)man at his friend's wedding and
Chair(transgender)man of his own company.

I would get used to using the nouns and pronouns he is asking you to use and you need to roll your eyes internally when you do, that's what we all do for family in one way or another.

It's clear that you don't care about her uterus or fertility. Your airy dismissal of the physical and mental health risks involved for this young woman - who the OP has explicitly said is a vulnerable person who has suffered childhood trauma - is chilling

@Stargazelamb , you clearly love and care about your niece. In your position I would use the name she wants you to use so as not to alienate her, but avoid using pronouns (either male or female) as I wouldn't be able to go along with the lie that she has changed sex. I agree with PPs you should try posting about this on the Feminism: sex and gender discussion board. I hope your niece comes through this

Are they taking hormones OP? That's the really difficult bit. Female systems can be massively messed up by testosterone.

Oh I wouldn't worry about it being an emotive subject. This topic comes up on Mumsnet more days than it doesn't. And I think given your views you are on pretty safe ground on here.

How old is your niece?

edited sorry I have read your post saying she’s 19. Hope the decision won’t be o e they regret

Exactly this.

This is obviously complete nonsense.

We have to deal in a world of fact, not make believe.

OP just found out. In this instance, ‘niece’ clarifies who OP is talking about

@aliceyyyy2654 by dressing in male identified clothes

"Male identified clothes" don't exist.

I don't choose my clothes based on the fact that I'm a man. Who on earth dresses on the basis of their sex? That sounds utterly bizarre.

In my honest opinion, I think it can be related to a lot of things, childhood trauma, being influenced by things on the internet from a young age, lack of self esteem and self worth, not knowing where you fit in society, mental health issues and potentially neurodivergence.

I wouldn’t say it relates to sexuality though. A lot of the gay community don’t like being under the same ‘umbrella’ as transgender people.

I know of 2 trans people (one female to male and the other male to female) both are autistic. And I know of a non-binary (but biologically female) person who states they are neurodiverse. But that’s not to say all neurodiverse people will have gender dysphoria, they don’t. But in cases I’ve read about all of trans people are neurodiverse.

I think it’s a very complex and nuanced circumstance. The human mind and emotions are very complex. It’s not a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.

You seem like a really lovely and open minded person, so I hope the good relationship you have with them can continue.

But remember: You can respect your nieces decision to live as a ‘male’, and you can also believe she will always be biologically female, without expressing your feelings directly to them which could cause any distress or fallouts.

Best of luck x

I think you know what FWR is.

Friday night thread if ever I saw one.

Young people's brains don't mature until at least 25. Plenty of people regret decisions made when they're young and there are lots of detransitioners who were mistaken about their gender identity.

Because every time we lie and say something we don’t believe to be true we’re reinforcing the idea that you can change your sex and go from she to he. It’s an unbelievably difficult thing when it’s your own family member but if no one holds the line that sex is immutable then we’re getting deeper in to the lie that sex doesn’t matter and that is a huge issue for women’s rights.

I thought we were talking about a niece not a nephew.

The irony.

I think back to things I thought were right , things I liked, people I admired, things I wanted to do etc when I was 19. Funnily enough they are almost without exception things I no longer find important. Luckily none of them involved permanently modifying my body, removing healthy body parts or permanently compromising my physical health or wellbeing.

I thought they'd have better things to do, on a Friday night during Pride month, than come on Mumsnet to be pronoun police.

My partner has long hair, has a name that can be used by women. Jury is out on his voice. I better tell him he might in fact be a woman.

I don’t expect anything different from mumsnet honestly. I hope the OP at least treats her nephew (or niece if she insists) with respect

Im a professional working with children and families and have worked with children for over 20 years. Not one single child who is 'trans' hasnt had a mixture of one or many of those factors. Not one.

Its normalised because its true. Professionals working on the ground with kids see this day in, day out.