Gay and trans are completely different. Think for yourself for a moment.

I get that. I'd be distraught if this was happening to one of my niblings too. You love them and want the best for them

Unfortunately there may not be much you can do other than be there for her - this is a worldwide movement and not something you can fix by yourself

I would want to avoid "affirming" it as much as possible though. I wouldn't send celebratory cards or whatnot, I'd just carry on treating her as normal while using the name she prefers and avoiding using sexed words like him/her or man/woman to her face. Then at least if she has doubts later she might be able to back out without thinking "I can't change my mind now because everyone was so pleased for me when I transitioned". Just make it clear you love her whatever is going on

How close are you with your niece? If it were my niece I'd be having a polite and caring conversation to see where it's come from and if there is anything I could do to help her learn to love herself as she is. If she is happy with her choice and you are convinced it's not some mental health crisis / social contagion then you have to accept she is an adult and you just need to be there and call her by her new preferred name.

I’ve been thinking what might be helpful, given she is already taking testosterone etc, is just to be give her love and attention based not on her ‘identity’ but what her interests are and what she is hoping to do; and encouraging everything that joins the body to the mind like being outside in beauty, or being with animals, or making things etc.

Just be a real person with love for the person she is (not the costume and testosterone version but not saying “you are really a girl” either) who is always there.

It may not be possible but getting her away from the internet might help.

She may never de-transition and if you suggest it she may only insist on her transness more. So don’t try. But if she ever brings up depression for example maybe you could help her find a therapist ( who is an explorative rather than a transactivist one).

On the other board (Feminism:sex and gende) people might give you links to helpful resources.

How is this any different than the things people used to say about gays? You also sound completely insane.

It costs you nothing to acknowledge his choice. It won't have been easy at all for him and your attitude doesn't help and he's better off without you.

Mine too, my OH did a double take earlier when I lifted my arms up!!!

😍

You should see my armpits! You could plait my armpit hair!

Amen

Dresses, skirts, high heels. The go to of the modern trans woman (in my experience). I don’t wear any of these. Am I less of a woman?

People should be able to wear whatever they like. I
mainly wear trousers, does this make me a man? A man should be able to wear a dress if he wants, this doesn’t automatically make him a woman.

Beige jumpsuits for all 🫡.

I think you just have to refer to someone in the way they would prefer, unless there are safeguarding issues or similar - which it sounds as though there aren't.

So you think the fact that there are separate men’s and women’s clothing departments in department stores represents “regressive sex stereotypes? Do you think the clothes should be mixed together or that everyone should wear a beige jumpsuit or something?

I bet you have hairy legs too!!!

You man you!!

No bat signal. The thread is in trending.

Surely you'd treat the person, as you always have? Instead of using Sarah, you'll be using James. That's all the changes you need to make. You have no need to refer to him as 'transgender boy'.

Shit! I'm living as a man! I dress in 'male identified (?!?) Clothes, at least I assume they are as they are from the menswear section, I'm known to some people as Bob. I once had to take hormones that permanently altered my voice and sent it more towards the male range. (And I spent my working life in construction).

Fuck.

🙄

It's a shock to you, you may need a bit of time to let it all sink in

Unfortunately your niece is caught up in a wider movement which is being pushed by some aggressive activists. Some of them have already flooded in to this thread to berate you for not calling your niece your nephew and are dismissing your concerns about her mental and physical health. These people do not have you or your niece's best interests at heart

Stay in touch with your niece and treat her with love and gentleness. It might not be a good idea to challenge her on her views as the aggressive activists who are urging her forward are also encouraging young people to cut contact with family members who question trans ideology. So maybe steer clear of discussing it with her unless she herself voices doubts. Stay strong 💐

Why?

When do you ever use someone's pronouns in front of them?

You could send her parents a copy of Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage.
Also send them a copy of the Cass Review and the data linkage study from Finland.

This!

Worth checking what pronouns they prefer. He/him, they/ them.

She/he will never be biological male. I suspect she/he will be perfectly happy to be recognised as a trans-man by you.

But tbh you probably wont ever need to say trans-man youll just say Steve or Joe or whomever.

The Tavistock clinic, who were seeing these children, kept their own figures to start with. You will see from this image (if it loads) that your niece's background is part of the usual pattern: