Please help stop this disgraceful practice.

YADNBU 100%!!

My bloody pudding came with greenery on it the other day - I said to DH what fresh hell is this?! It's bad enough having wanky green stuff on lunch offerings when out, now it seems to be spreading to every blummin course, all hours of the day/night....just waiting for somewhere to have the audacity to sprinkle it on my latte next!!

The greenery I couldn't care less about, just flick it off.
But beans on unbuttered toast and butter on the side. Fucking abomination.

I hate unbuttered toast with butter on the side. I've ordered a 3000kcal full English, I'm obviously going to have butter on the toast. But by the time they've brought it out the toast is cold and it's so much harder to spread the frozen butter on and it doesn't melt in. Utter bollocks.

PM me for a stonking, easy and foolproof recipe for your own soda bread.x

Agree. I’m beginning to loathe red onion - seems to be on everything these days. And what’s with mayonnaise on a bloody chicken sandwich ? Bit into it and it stuck to the roof of my mouth before I realised it was there - unasked for and unwanted !!

Baked beans should be served on white toasted bread spread with butter, and maybe with a light grind of black pepper. The only acceptable topping is cheese.

It’s wanky sliced onion on everything especially salads that boils my piss. I don’t want to breathe onion over everyone all day.

I don’t mind green garnishes - but I do mind cheese on everything. I can’t stand cooked cheese and you can hardly order anything these days that doesn’t include cheese.

Well done op, this gave me a real laugh - love your writing skills 😃.

I had to vote YABU for the comment about DH watching the footie (I had to go home leaving OH in the bar with all the other screaming fans last night - so I feel your pain).

It's like when they put ice in your drink without asking. A) I don't want it and b) it makes the drink go watery as it melts and c) it dilutes the drink.

I think baked Ben’s are one of the foods of the devil, with or without green garnish. But I agree with you entirely that sourdough needs to be an option, not a default. Starbucks, I’m talking to you.

The only thing permissable atop beans on toast is grated cheese. Greenery is an abomination.

Yes that horrible pink slimy stuff that so many cafes serve with everything should be banned.

Watercress balanced on top of a bowl of soup

There’s a greasy spoon just around the corner from us that does the chepeast, most basic beans on toast and, as the young’uns would say, it always absolutely “slaps”. Usually at home I’ll make it a bit fancier so it feels like I’ve made more of an effort with cooking a proper meal but you really can’t beat the basics.

I'm not a remotely fussy eater, but anyone over 12 that orders baked beans when they go out to eat deserves jail time.

I wish we still had the laughing emoji.

I grew up with this in the 80s. We didn't have a toaster so it was put under the grill and Mum never bothered to flip it. I assume to save time.

I love pea shoots, whereas baked beans are the food of the Devil, so I'm afraid you lost my sympathy when you started describing bean juice on soggy bread 🤢😆

Please can we yeet raw red onion into the fiery pit of hell also?

Salad? Yes - let's make it full of stinking onion
Burger - chunk of the hideous stuff right in the middle. You won't find it till you bite it, mind. And when you try and drag it out, it hangs on tight, then brings all the lovely cheese or burger sauce with it 😡

Fresh herbs are wonderful (I am possibly responsible for one third of the UK's fresh coriander consumption) BUT they have their place, and on top of baked beans is not one of those places.

A day? I thought it was supposed to be five a WEEK! 😂

It's from when Brits mostly didn't have toasters, they just used the gas grill which was usually at eye level. It used to freak me out when I came here on holiday.

To this day I associate the rasping sound of scraping burnt bits off a piece of toast with my Nan.

I was once served toast done on one side by a boyfriend in the 1980s.

Sting has a song, 'English man in New York' which references toast done on one side.

I got that recently in an Amsterdam hotel. I don't whether their toaster wasn't working properly or that was just how they perceived it should be done. It was baffling and strange.

We have similar issues in Greece where their notion of toast varies from "left in the sun for an hour" to "run through a warm room". It is very rare that it looks that the bread spent any of its brief life staring up at a hot grill. Maybe they think that browned bread is an abomination, but it's only at greasy spoon type places run by British that you get real toast...

This is a fair argument to try sourdough bread. I really hate my food going soggy!