Wasn’t sure where to put this but it’s a
bit of a ‘what would you have done?’ situation.
was at the park this afternoon - sunny day so busy and filled with kids. My daughter (4) went down the slide 🛝 as did DH and a girl was at the bottom helping people off eg grabbing hands and pulling them up with a cheer.
I was sitting nearby with my 5 month old having finished a feed. The girl came
bouncing over to me as did her mum and I realised she had learning difficulties. She was 9 and very friendly but with no boundaries - mum was hovering very nearby. Said girl put her hands on my baby and started saying how cute she was etc. all fine. She then asked if she could feed her and I said no she’s just fed and she proceeded to shove the bottle in her mouth. mum was standing right next to her and just said platitudes like ‘be careful’ etc. I was trying to get her to stop which eventually she did. I kept calm as she was quite erratic in her behaviour so I didn’t think raising my voice etc would help.
she then asked if she could hold my baby to which I said ‘no.’ The girl then grabbed her arm and leg and tried to cradle her to her chest. I was trying my best to keep the mood calm because when I said ‘no’ she would raise her voice and do it anyway - a behaviour that happened several times during this incident.
at this point DH and big sister (4) came to see me and baby (they’d been on the swings) and big sister was immediately unsettled by the girl. The girl was trying to hold baby again on her own and pulling her out of my arms - I was equally holding onto my baby pulling her to me. Big sister was now sitting next to me and started to cry hysterically at the scene as she was scared. The girl said “it’s my baby” and kept pulling her to me. I didn’t want to hurt my baby (!) in this tug of war and by now a scene was being made.
I kept calm throughout and said, “be gentle, let her go” etc but none of it worked. Mum was there the whole time letting it happen, occasionally interjecting with “be careful” etc. mum eventually got the girl off my baby and we walked away a little shaken by the whole thing. I felt sorry for the girl as she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing hence my patience.
in the car on the way home I chastised myself for not being firmer and asking mum to take the girl away but, weirdly, because mum was there allowing it all I thought perhaps that was the right thing to do/ best way to handle this little girl.
yabu - I did best I could do in that situation.
Yanbu - you should have told the little girl to get off regardless of her subsequent outburst.