Have you noticed this with your parents as they’ve got older?

Once you do reach your sixties you do realise how fast life is going by. Or has gone by. So you do think of your own mortality. Which isn’t a barrel of laughs.
Looking into older age is concerning for people. The horror stories you read about. The dread of the care home.
And should you move to a bungalow high on the list of things to consider.
You don’t think of it when you are 37 or even 45 but you do when you are 65 or more. How long have they got ? Who will die first ? How will they cope without each other. All sorts of nightmares loom.
So spare them a bit if they seem to fuss over things.
This may be what is behind it.

People generally want to keep going. And try to do so. And try to have a generous spirit and keep enjoying life.
I wouldn’t say calling the shop and moaning about something was usual. The shops would be inundated with old people moaning. Daily.
People who seem to like to create dramas possibly did so when they were younger as well.

Not specifically, but when peoples lives shrink, they do tend to focus on the minutiae of life and tell you with great feeling, for example, how shit it is that virgin media has gone down again, that the supermarket didn't have what they wanted, how busy and exhausting their day was because they did 2 minor things that most people squeeze around work etc.

Maybe they miss having something meaningful to focus on, and they're creating a 'need' by looking at another property to buy? (They're not wrong in this, by the way, it's wise to move somewhere manageable before you get to the age where you need to.) As to feeling their age...well, there's more years behind them than ahead, isn't there? I'm in my 40s and I feel this.

No its just your parents sorry. I am 62 and dont do any of those things.

Oh joy!
Another ageist thread.
Try living with 3 teenagers, now that’s negative and grumpy or friends who complain about their young children being hard work constantly.
Huge generalisation about ‘old people’.
Hope you’re constantly positive when you’re in your 60s.

simple answer to "when are you coming home?" is "Mum I am home."

it amazes me the small things that some people on here post about at times and the great detail they go into. Things that I would barely be aware of or give more than a few minutes thought to.

I don’t think this is necessarily true, I retired early and have a very easy life and have lots of friends who are very privileged. We are all very positive and trying to fit as much into life as we can.
I do think some people are more anxious than others and more prone to being half empty.

I think volunteering or getting more involved in church activities as suggested in the post above is a good idea.

It will give some structure to their days/weeks.

Hopefully it will also give them some perspective about their own lives and how actually they have a more comfortable life than many others. Do you think they would go for such a thing @Thesleer ?

Do they play any sports? My mum is 68 and she is now playing Seniors' golf twice a month. That is on top of a Bible study at church and a church service on a Sunday. That has made a difference to the moaning / catastrophising / making mountains out of molehills. She has somewhere to go at least a few times a week that involves getting ready and presentable, she meets with others in her own age group and it has led to more socialisation opportunities for other things - cups of tea here and there, invites to other things.

I was really struggling with the endless negativity and I am 10,000 miles away. In a way it was worse via Whatsapp or when I did make the effort to make a telephone call all I got was endless moaning and "when are you coming home?". I have 1 child in last year of primary and 1 in early stages of high school - am going through a divorce, finances are tight ....I already have a lot in my own actual life to deal with but when I did make the time to call all I get / got was endless moaning about things that (to me) are really quite minor!

I hope your parents will be open to some of the suggestions on this thread.

Like you, I hope I never get like this later on in my own life!

It gives them something to do and talk about, I guess.

This sounds like personality. My father is a very gentle man who always sees the good in everything and everyone. He is very frail and has health problems that would make moving to a more modern house, ideally a bungalow, more sensible. My mother is a very pragmatic, unemotional person who expresses her deep love and commitment for him through the care she gives. She could really do with professional help, but refuses it. I worry that their ancient crooked house will kill one or both of them. If my father - a very bent and slightly shrunken 6ft3 - fell on my mother - a very slight woman of 5ft3 - while she helps him up the stairs then he would take them both out. It terrifies me, but they have lived in their home for 50 years and have no desire ti say goodbye to it.

One thing I have noticed with my mum (mid 70s) is negative comments dressed up as jokes. That really irritates me, because they’re not funny so they’re not jokes.

like for example, myself and DH were talking about DD (30) in the garden one day. We were talking about how she didn’t recognise a very well known phrase and laughed about it. My mum said ‘well she should have been brought up better’ but then laughed..

i just looked confused, say ‘eh?’ And walked off.. it doesn’t sound much but it’s silly comments all the time,

I don’t even know if she used to be like this because it’s only starting to grate on me now. But for the record, I know she doesn’t really think that because she also commented about what a lovely well brought up boy my DS is.. in fact she says it about them both. So I know that’s not what she thinks but my god it annoys me.. like belittling.

It's not an age thing but I do believe that when people have very easy lives and no real problems, they can get fixated on tiny things and make them into problems. It's like some people can't be happy unless they've got something to moan about or worry about!

I do notice with some older people, that they want everything done on their timetable and forget that other people still have jobs or kids to look after. I think that comes with retirement and more distance from that reality.

Retirement is like being a teenager with cash in your pocket. My husband has several horrendously painful conditions, mainly from stupidly hard physical work all of his life, and he's a bit of a grouch but we both enjoy our lives and are grateful for what we have. So many of our friends have died or have dementia or other serious illnesses.
Are they worried about something they aren't telling you? Or as someone asked have they always been this way? Talk to them.
Also, your responsibility is to your children, not your parents, so stop being so available.

Yes, I’ve got exactly the same issue even down to moving house every three years and the blueberries. Currently looking for another property as they don’t like the neighbours/cost/smell here.
mine are bored. No hobbies, with each other 24/7 and my circumstances have changed in that childcare isn’t needed as much and our family are more settled in general and therefore don’t have as much to do.
I find they’re making stupid ass decisions. They aren’t in great health sadly and this moving to another property isn’t what any sane person would be doing quite frankly and not considering their future health needs.
Having worked with older people a long time, I find it’s not the norm but certainly see it a fair bit.
I’ve been working hard to make my life easier and my parents seem to be doing the opposite 😆

😄😄🤣 yep, can see this happening with me if I'm not very careful!

How long ago did they retire? I can imagine me starting to fret about small things once I retire in a few years' time...God help my kids 😄 you say they have a good social life etc but do they keep their minds active? My own dad volunteered for a couple of charities the minute he retired, as he needed that mental stimulation.

Funny you mention mouldy blueberries. It's hard to find fresh ones the last couple of years. I don't rant, honestly, but I am quietly disappointed (late sixties, perhaps the ranting is for the next decade).

Yes this is exactly the time that parents start becoming the children and doing annoying things for your attention 🤣

Huge generalisation but men seem more grumpy as they age

Indeed! AIBU would be empty if not for younger people getting het up about absolutely nothing!

you still don't have to give up your day off for them unless you choose to.

In-laws. So yes relatives but non-blood relatives.

but they aren't your relatives?

Because I don’t live in a bubble
where I can prevent my partner having visitors to my/his home!

I intend to enjoy my retirement too. The phrase ‘wasted on the young’ doesn’t mean literally that anyway, it means that a a young person lacks the life experience to optimise their youth and, vice versa in retirement when you get the gift of time and you have the experience, it may not be at an optimum time (ill health, tiredness) or you may just have seen so much of the world by then it’s hard not to be a bit jaded and cynical! All generalities of course.

This is a reason for an early retirement which I intend to seek. I will try to be mindful with others of what it is like to work, be busy with family, to guard your time because time is precious. Who knows though - years in, like childbirth, I fear the edges of the memory become softer and it gets hard to truly imagine what it is like to live a different life. Sometimes having someone with time to complain is no bad thing though; local plans wouldn’t be written without the retired and if the shop improves their stock handling due to complaints about blueberries, then that benefits everyone including those who don’t have time to complain about blueberries!

My parents are the same, as a PP says i put it down to having too much time on their hands

Every minor inconvenience becomes a story