To not make my son share?

I don’t think OP will be back!

Because you'd seemingly hoarded a good 7+ toys. Unless the pool was completely full of them, clearly there wouldn't be enough to go around.

Do you really have to ask? Of course you are unreasonable, these are shared toys and they are here for everyone. Your son had a good stack of toys for an hour. If I was the other mum, I’d have asked you for this second bucket much earlier. If you want toys that are exclusively for your son, you have to bring your own.

So how would you feel if you were the other parent and your child had nothing to play with whilst your son hogged multiple items? He needs to learn that he’s not more important than any other child and sharing is and important skill that you should be teaching him.

Very very sad. I’m wondering what you are trying to teach him when you take him to a communal pool, a session dedicated to parents and their toddlers and then you segregate him from everyone else because you think he prefers to play on his own? What’s the point then? Surely these sessions are largely to do with teaching the children how to socialise while they play and they’re supervised by their parents to help them navigate these things, to teach them about the wider world they live in and the other people who inhabit it. If he isn’t enjoying himself or has had enough after an hour then take him out and do something else quietly, a drink in the cafe or little picnic together. It’s so important to make sharing become something natural, especially so that school doesn’t come as a huge shock. I can sympathise with the pp who relays the story of the girl in the school playhouse who wouldn’t let anyone in. There was one such girl in my dc’s class who became violent and started biting anyone who tried, my daughter had her nose bitten. She then retaliated.

Your child played with multiple toys for 45 minutes. You should have allowed another child to play with said items after that. However I wonder if something else is at play here as you mentioned taking him to the other end of the pool as he prefers not to play with others. If that's the case you need to emphasise sharing.

I'd of said 10 more minutes then let someone else have a go.
Like if you go to the park you can't hog swings etc .. its etiquette to share give someone else a turn.
You're little boy is thinking its ok to keep all the toys its up to you to encourage him to share or he will have major tantrums in future.

The only surprise on this thread is that 11% agree with OP😜

Kindly op I think you are both wrong. Sharing by nature is letting someone else use something after a reasonable length of time even if that person (child) isn’t fully finished, otherwise that’s just using it till they’ve naturally had enough and don’t want it anymore. So you aren’t teaching “sharing” by saying you can play as long as you want with it and then someone else can have it, that’s not sharing. With my child I would have set a time limit on said item once another child was interested to have a turn I.e 5-10 minutes, communicate this to the other child or parent and my child and then enforce this after the time was finished. He also didn’t need 2 buckets especially if there was a limited supply. You absolutely should have shared a bucket. She shouldn’t have took it without permission but if her child had nothing to play with and yours had a hoard of toys then I can see why she was fed up.

The sooner they learn to share the better. I had to remove my child at that age on several occasions when she refused to. The time out method worked for us as it allowed her to ‘reset’ and start afresh going back into soft play or whenever. She is now at 11 a very generous girl who will share anything.
The gentle parenting thing sounds good but I am sorry, they just don’t understand and it tends to escalate things.

Not to mention it's so age inappropriate. A 3.5 year old isn't processing all that and negotiating, he just gets bored and distracted by the end.

This is totally unreasonable! I can't believe you can't see that. Why take so many toys and not share?

He had 2 buckets as well as lot of other toys.

yes he could have given one of the buckets imo

was there other toys left so other boy could have played

You were wrong not to share, she was wrong to have removed the toy from your child.
It would be good for your child to learn to share.

@Bloozieyeah I get into battles of will with my son sometimes. Which I win, because I’m the parent and I am in charge. And he knows that.

I’m not scared of tantrums; displaying the big feelings is an important development point. Not everyone’s going to tiptoe round you to ensure you don’t get frustrated: it’s totally unrealistic preparation for life.

It’s also MUCH harder to practise gentle parenting with multiple kids.

They aren’t your possessions they are shared resources in a session that others have paid/been invited to attend. Assuming all the toys were taken, you should have offered some of the toys to new arrivals. Not all of them and not the one your child was playing with but you have no right to hoard loads when others don’t have them. It sounds like you had an awful lot and that you are teaching your child awful selfish habits.

So you treated a public share session as your own personal play session.

It's also extremely stressful trying to explain to a toddler that they can't have a toy that they want when they can see it all the time in the pool. It probably ruined the swimming time after a while for the others. This is not a good lesson to teach your children for later in life. He won't make many friends at school that way.

If they were toys owned by the venue, you took way too many unless there were bucketloads. YABVU. Child will benefit by learning to share.

I think you are being very unreasonable. It's a long time for a child to have all those toys when other children would like to enjoy them too, and it's not really sharing if he doesn't want them anymore.

Because your kid had 2 buckets, a watering can, a few small toys and a float - and only 2 hands
You were aware that there were no toys for other children and your son had more than he could carry but you dont feel he should share - you should have been kicked out by staff.
You do realise you raise him to be this selfish and entitled he will not make friends easily - when he starts scholl other kids will not want to spend time with him

YABU the toys aren’t your child’s they are for everyone to share. Your DC doesn’t have ownership of them and shouldn’t be hogging them for an hour. Why weren’t you managing the situation?

This is the rub of the situation. I think you are expecting us to reinforce your view and Im not sure you're listening. He had a lot of toys and he held onto them for a long time. But it's your responsibility to get him well socialised not his.

@AnonyMumAuDHD , it probably is a reverse. No sensible person would think the OP's behaviour was acceptable.

OP's not been back for almost 24 hours.

Really unreasonable of you and your son.

Yes you share the toys and you should be encouraging him to play with the other kids.