To not make my son share?

Probably because he had so many toys all to himself while other children didn't have any.
Can't you see that that is very selfish?

Were there any other toys available?
Your son does seem to have had a lot and he had had them for an hour which is a long time to monopolise shared toys which are there for all the children in the pool not just your child.

He chose too many toys and took them all away from the group. You could have picked a couple and when he got bored, returned them and swapped for others. YABU.

However, the other adult(s) are wrong for taking something away from him. They should have spoken directly with you. But equally, you should’ve stepped in here and yes, made him share. It doesn’t matter that he was actively playing with them, he’d had them almost an hour.

I think YABU We take our own floats and toys swimming and share them with others its good to teach them to share at a young age it encourages them to play nicely and build friendships, why did you purposely hog them all? could you not have took one or two and then returned them to swap with other toys after playing with the ones you finished with? No wonder the other child wanted to play with them you had so many im sorry but that was incredibly selfish of you.

@Goldengirl123this encapsulates it so much more simply than the rest of us have managed to. Two tidy sentences: so powerful. 👏

OP I think it was unfair to have all those toys for such a long time.

you kid was probably targeted as there were not enough toys to go around and he’d had them for an hour!!

they’re not his toys. They were shared with other families.

you could of rotated with some other toys or offered them out.

it’s been a while since I’ve been to those session s but the watering cans were always a favourite and only a few. So after 5-10 mins we would put to the side for someone else to use and find something else.

"We absolutely teach our children to share, but our rule is that if they're still actively playing with something, they can finish their turn first. Once they're done, sharing is expected"

Giving someone a toy that you're no longer interested in isn't sharing. Sharing is when you allow someone to have a toy despite wanting it yourself, because you realise that taking turns will allow everyone to have fun over time. The fact that he'd been playing with with it for an hour is not a reason for him to keep it but a reason for him to pass it on.

You let your child choose 7 toys moved him away to the other end of the pool presumably away from other children. Does he have problems sharing or interacting with other children? He will really struggle at school if he needs this much isolation to play with hoarded items. Maybe encourage play and sharing.

Your child should have shared. If they were his own toys then no of course he does not have to share, but they are not his.

PP is absolutely correct, a typical 3.5 yo should be speaking in full sentences.

You are the sort of parent I don’t like. Selfish and you are teaching your child to be the same

“our rule is that if they're still actively playing with something, they can finish their turn first”

This is not sharing. If the child has finished playing then they don’t want the item anymore, so it’s free for someone else to use anyway. Sharing means giving up your turn sooner than you would otherwise have done because otherwise the other person would have no turn at all or have an unreasonable wait. That’s the life lesson - thinking of others and recognising that their needs and wants are as valid as yours. There’s no life lesson in your version of sharing.

The toys didn’t belong to your DC they belonged to the pool and were put out for all children to use.
YABU here, he should have shared he had them already for 45 mins when they arrived.

If he wants so many toys like that, then you take your own. Otherwise you take turns. He doesn’t get to decide when his ‘turn’ is up, meaning any length of time. You as a parent give a time, ‘2 more minutes/goes then we swap toys ok’ or something like this. So other kids get to play too. Why would you think it is ok for your DC to have a hoard of toys while other children don’t have any?

this is a lesson you need to teach, and sooner rather than later.

You are teaching your child to be selfish. Preferring to play alone than with other children will cause future poor socialisation and a raft of problems as he gets older. You need to teach him that it’s more fun to play with others. It’s great that he can entertain himself, but there needs to be a balance and he needs to be able to share and cooperate.

Im guessing he prefers independent play, as your not teaching him to share with other children.
He should try mixing with other children, and then share, else he will suffer in later life.

"Our rule is that if they're still actively playing with something, they can finish their turn first. Once they're done, sharing is expected"

This isn't sharing. This is turn taking😂

The fact you took the stash of toys off to the other end of the pool suggests you didn't want to have to negotiate a situation like this. But kids do have to learn to give and take a bit. And you said he doesn't like to play with other kids - but he's learning from you so it would be good to teach him that he can tolerate giving his toys away because someone will give him something back.. that's what you hope - or he walks around and finds a toy lying around somewhere and he gets to try that one out now. It's all about variety and exploration, not ring-fencing and protecting. You haven't come back to the thread OP so we can't know how many toys there were.. but it did sound like quite a stash. No wonder he had some asking..

I agree with others, you should let him pick 2 toys max, and if he wanted to change them later then swap them over. If he really doesn’t like sharing then take your own toys

I can remember once when mine was that age in pool and another mother told my DD that she had to share the rubber ring I had bought from home. I told her it was ours from home and she still complained and said we should share. And no I didn’t make my child share.
I think if there are plenty of toys to play with in the pool .

The toddler was swimming lengths, no doubt.

That's a very long session in the pool you must have been freezing! I think it also sounds like a long time to hog the toys for unless there were other accessible toys for the other children.

You should have made him share - Johnny you’ve played with that toy a long time, let the other little boy have a go now, we can go and find a different toy. You just taught him to ignore other kids pleas to share and hog his toys.

op "I'm genuinely interested to know what others think."
....unless everyone disagrees with me in which case I'm out of here!

You should have encouraged him to share. He's only little so he did nothing wrong, but you are doing your own child a disservice by not teaching him to share and take turns. It isn't fair on the other children at the activity either, or the parents who are trying to teach their children to share and take turns.

Sounds like you allowed your son to hog a load of shared toys for a long time. At home if you have your rule about finishing their turn then fair enough, that’s your toys. But in a time-limited swim session with shared toys, then I’m afraid it’s very selfish to hog a big load of toys, especially multiple of the same item! It may be the easy route not making your child share, but in the long run he’ll find it easier to learn about letting others have a turn if you teach him now. Turn taking is exactly that, playing for a short amount of time then giving someone else a chance (even though you may still want that toy yourself). If you always wait for him to finish his ‘turn’ then actually you’re just teaching him that as long as he grabs something first then he can have that thing for as long as he wants. That’s not sharing or taking turns.