To not make my son share?

I'm very much of the opinion that it's not ok to force children to 'share' as it usually means making them stop playing with something so another child can have it instead BUT this sounds like you took an excessive numbers of toys to have sole use of throughout the session. It might have been better to take a more moderate number and then swap them over later.

The title of your whole thread is ‘to not make my son share’ so a bit late to backtrack and try to pretend you do share. But obviously only when you’ve finished. Which isn’t sharing.

You're the problem here. That was a lot of toys that you hogged for an hour! Absolutely entitled behaviour from you, and you're modelling or to your Son. Good luck when he's 15.

Because your son had not just one but TWO buckets and multiple other toys!

Actually a bit flabbergasted OP that you didnt see how inappropriate your behaviour was. Sounds like the other mum was calmly sending you a message there about how you should have been behaving.

Im sorry to ask this but are you quite young? You sound it

I imagine because your son had so many toys, for so long, that it seemed reasonable that he share.

I think you don't fully get the concept of sharing - it doesn't mean taking everything you want and letting others have them only when you don't want them anymore.

He will be unpopular in nursery and school if he continues to hoard shared toys like this, so you need to teach how to actually share. I'm sure you can find resources online on how to encourage sharing, empathy etc in kids.

Give over op. A 3 year old can’t ‘actively play’ with that many toys at once unless he has around 6 arms. So you were hoarding toys for him. I’d have taken them too. What a twat

We absolutely do "insist" as adults that other adults share. Have you never seen the threads about people hogging seats on the bus/train by putting bags on it? Other commuters will insist they move the bag.

And no, I don't share my phone. Because it's mine. I might let someone use it in an emergency, but id be wary that it might be a scam.

It depends if there was other toys available to the other children, if there was plenty left YANBU, but if there wasn’t then YABU! I agree that children should finish their turn and not be too quick to give stuff up when asked (I was always a bit of a pushover as a child). But perhaps having the amount of toys for the length of time you were there wasn’t ideal. I would have told mine to share for sure!

how would your son have reacted if say when you got there and all the toys were taken?

at the end of the day they aren’t your belongings, if you had taken your own it would be different!

At a rough count, your son had at least seven toys. If there weren't enough for every child in the pool to have seven, then yes, YABU and modelling terrible selfish behaviour to your child.

This. OP you allowed your son to take way too many of the toys he can't have been playing with all those at once the while time!!

And absolutely he did not need two buckets while another child had none. Did you not feel quite selfish 😳

@drearyllama You clearly lack empathy and social skills so I feel sorry for your son. Who's going to teach him how to behave in society? I feel sorry for his future teachers tbh.

At home I have a policy of encouraging the child that wants the toy to ask for a turn, but they have to respect it and wait if it’s a no (and that can last all day or however long they’re playing with to). This encourages them to verbalise their desire for a toy and turn taking without adult mediation. In the park/softplay/any shared environment, communal toys operate on a “fast turns” principle. Again you have to ask for a turn but I encourage the child with the toy to consider others and if necessary I limit the time with the toy. I hate the whole “caring is sharing” nonsense and enforced sharing that is adult mediated. Let them figure it out (largely), explain the difference between fast and slow turn environments and (try to) ignore the comments that invariably come your way whenever you do anything as a mum :)

You let him play with one item ,then he puts it back and gets another..so other children can also play with things.
He can't possibly play with everything you described at the same time
You were massively unreasonable

You really aren’t teaching him how to share.

So one kid have 7+ toys for an hour.
One kid has none.

Ffs.

Go and find the quote then. It’s not edited. I absolutely did say that and if you can’t comprehend well, then I’m sorry for you.

If it was yours then not don’t expect him to share. If it belongs to the pool then yes unreasonable to take that much stuff. If you don’t want him to have to share either only borrow one communal toy or bring your own.

I still stand by exactly what I said - did he have to give it up? No. Should he have? Yes.

Because he had way too many toys that needed to serve all the children at the session, and he held on to all of them for almost an hour!

YABVU.

How unpleasant of you - remember children learn from example.

If he had two of the same thing (bucket) and another child had none, it's obvious he should give one to the other child. Plus he'd had a large number of toys to himself for 45 minutes. Of course he's too young to know differently, but OP as his mum should have stepped in and evened things out.

But these weren't HIS items, they were the pool's.

Being asked to share your phone - an expensive item that belongs solely to you that has a lot of important and sensitive information on it is completely different to sharing a toy that is provided by a third party literally to be shared, with your admittance based on that central precept.

You don't need to immediately share the toy you have, however if you have more than one toy and another child has no toys, you should share your toys immediately.

Wind em up and watch em froth
nice work op
fair play

I think the OP was wrong on this occasion but saying she’s creating a monster is unpleasant and patently wrong. Most kids do share fine in preschool / school. My own DD is nearly three and not great at sharing when she’s with me but fine at preschool.