To not make my son share?

Because he can’t play with all seven toys simultaneously and had them for an hour, therefore he should share no matter what end of the pool.

He likes to play independently because he doesn’t like sharing.

He wasn’t “targeted”, he had too many toys for one child.

You didn’t even know or care if other children had even one toy! Yet yours had seven?

I don’t subscribe to the philosophy of taking a toy from a child they are actively using.

However, your child had at least 6 toys from the communal play equipment. That was more than is reasonable to take. You have a responsibility to teach him not to be greedy of shared resources. He can pick a couple of things and when he is done with them, swap them for something else.

Communal toys only work if no one hoards.

So ultimately, yes, you were unreasonable. Your child was not actively using that many toys and the toys did not belong to you.

Surely a reverse?

You have monopolised multiple toys in a shared session, ofc YABU

I just realised it wasn't 2-3 items, but a mountain of items!!! The mind boggles why the OP thinks this amount is acceptable, without sharing!

People who are also rearing future unpopular adults?

You were really selfish and let your son down by not helping him learn how to behave in the world.

First you took far too many shared toys for your own child's use. This was your first opportunity to explain the toys were for everyone and he needed to be considerate (or if the pool was fairly empty at this point, to explain that he would have to give some up once other children arrived).

Then you allowed him to stockpile toys when another child clearly wanted to play with the shared toys. At this point you could have either said "sorry, X is playing with that bucket but you can have one of the other toys if you like?". Or "X is still playing with the bucket but you can have a turn in 5 minutes?".

I have a 3.5 year old too and it's infuriating when parents act like their child is the only one on the planet in this way. If you don't want to help him learn how to share appropriately, don't take him to places with toys or equipment provided for everyone's enjoyment. You can help him learn to advocate for himself without training him to be entitled, and without being unfair to other children.

Next time I go to a buffet I am going to grab all the food as quick as I can and sit in the corner on my own. I’ll maybe give someone who hasn’t managed to get there before all the food has gone. But I will make sure I’m absolutely finished first.

Because he had quite a large amount of toys/objects from what you are saying! Keeping 1-2 to himself, why not, but not more than that if there are other children wanting to play.

It's not really 'sharing and taking turns' when a child is allowed to keep things for as long as they like.

7 pieces...

At school we have shared outside play equipment. There's obviously not enough for each child to have a piece of equipment. Our rule is that a child can only have 1 item of equipment. If there are children waiting to use equipment, then a child has 5-10 minutes with that piece of equipment, and then they are expected to hand it to a child that is waiting.

Your child was extremely lucky to have 3 pieces of equipment to play with for such a long time. As soon as another child wanted to use a piece of equipment, then you should have asked your son to hand a piece of equipment over. After all your son still would have had 2 pieces of equipment. You son needs to learn to share, the other child shouldn't have tried to take the equipment off your son and the other parent shouldn't have taken the equipment off your son.

Sharing is something children learn to do, but the earlier they grasp the concept, the easier it will be for them once they start school. At school your child will be expected to share school equipment.

Edit: I've just realised your child had a huge pile of equipment, not just 2-3 items!!!!!! Good God, on what planet do you think it's acceptable for your child to hoard that much, and not share!!!!!

I think when i next go to the gym I'll take all the dumbells and kettle bells and all the resistance bands and go and sit in the corner for an hour

We absolutely teach our children to share, but our rule is that if they're still actively playing with something, they can finish their turn first. Once they're done, sharing is expected.

So not really sharing then? Keep playing for an hour and when you’re finished and don’t want it anymore, then let someone else have it? I get what you mean about not having to give something up straight away, but come on, he had them for an hour, that’s just selfish. He didn’t need two buckets surely, sharing would be giving one of them to the other child. And sounds like he had a LOT of toys, unnecessarily so YABU.

I'm surprised the people running the place didn't tell you and your son to clear off. The toys were for all the children not just yours.

No we will have a sob about that on MN. How unfair it was!

YANBU op, it’s totally fine for your child to have more toys than he’s able to play with at once for the whole time. Why should he have to share when his adult has taught him to be greedy and inconsiderate. Good job you’re teaching him to play alone….

Because from the sounds of it your child probably had more than most/ any - you cannot seriously think this is reasonable behaviour to teach. You were hogging a large proportion of toys for over an hour.

Because he had 2 buckets a watering can and floaties solo playing. At a shared toys activity

So next time, if there's traffic en route and you are a bit late and all the toys are therefore being used when you get in, and you see the other lad and his parent with 6 or 7 toys to himself up one end of the pool, you will just tell your DC "fair enough, Tommy, he got here first and is still playing with his 2 buckets, his float, his watering can and these small toys so you will have to sit here with nothing".

Or why couldn't your child share toys which he'd already played with for an hour

They weren't his toys

They were toys to be used by everyone

Are you sure your son has been taught to share?

Maybe the other children only had one toy each were your son had loads . I think it’s only fair to shear after all the toys were for everyone.

Maybe no-one else had taken at least 5 toys / swimming implements?

Honestly!!!

All of this is weird behaviour at a shared play session.

Wouldn’t you like to help your child learn to make friends and play with others?

When I go to the public pool I'm not there to be social with all the other strangers who attend, even if I'm using the pool's floats. Why is a child be obliged to be?

Omg, your child is going to grow up so entitled.

I would have been furious at one child hogging all those toys for the whole session. So very selfish.