To not make my son share?

It’s a bit of a contradiction to say we absolutely teach our children to share, them go onto writing a post about only if they have decided to stop playing with said toy or toys in this case. Certainly isn’t sharing

I'm mixed on these specifics. But, I never share anything as an adult, although I might share my sweets with my daughter. My wife needs to pick her own.

I assumed the idea of sharing was from a time of poverty where families couldn't afford much.

Oh, you’re one of those parents. Targeted? Please.

you took more than your fair share and kept them for a long time without teaching your child how to share when he had lots that he played with for over an hour! But no matter what people say you’ll act the victim and not listen to the majority

What are you teaching your child by hogging a load of toys that don’t belong to him for a whole hour?! Of course he should share - they aren’t his toys!

Sounds like your child had alot of the toys, maybe there wasnt any others left? Or the others just had 1 or 2 toys each?

I’m embarrassed for you. You obviously have no idea how to share, and in turn, are teaching your little boy to be blinkered to other people’s needs as well. You may find he struggles to make friends if this attitude continues.

Op seems to have disappeared
Maybe she's playing with every pool toy known to man for an excessive amount of time n

I would absolutely have made my child share, especially if you have 2 of the same item and had been playing with them for a long time, it's basic decency.

Targeted 🙄

You sound a bit anti social. Why go to a shared pool with shared toys, which is presumably a social activity if you and your ds just grab a bunch of toys and feel targeted when someone interacts with you. "Give me that" or "I want it" is probably one of the oldest kiddie interactions in this world? I bet Neanderthal kids said it in fewer words with assertive hand gestures to each other. It's social play.

Buy your ds his own plastic toys and let him play in the bath tub.

So you had a watering can, two buckets, several small toys and a float and then took yourself of separately hoping noone would go over as well. I went to these sessions when mine where little. You share the toys you don't hoard. You use the watering can then leave it in the pool for someone else. Then use a float then leave it for someone else. You use a toy then leave it for for someone else. You pick ONE item at a time so everybody can use them.

I agree. 2 buckets full stop is unnecessary (and he had a watering can) he had all the good stuff!
I'd have been pissed off too if I was the other parent - my kids are older now but I remember those fun swims fondly.

Sorry - I don't think you're gonna get much sympathy on this one OP.
X

@Waheymum are you on the wind up too? 😂What does being an only child have to do with it?!
I’m an only child; I know how to share unlike the OP, and I wouldn’t be so selfish. Being ignorant isnt a trait solely reserved for people who are an only child, some of the worst at sharing are those who come from bigger families, in my experience, as they’re more territorial of there belongings, food etc.

Omigod, I didn't even think of that aspect - of a child sturdily, but politely, standing up for himself without an intervening parent.

I don't force my child to share if he's still playing with something but I will also teach him to look for opportunities to show kindness to others. So in that scenario I'd have said to your son this little boy would like a turn using a watering can, why don't we give one to him and then you can keep one so you can both play together.

It's our job to teach our kids to be assertive and stand up for themselves but it is also our job to teach them empathy and compassion. You only did half of the work.

If you let your child believe that it's OK for him to hoard communal toys while others go without you are setting him up for a fail when it comes to making friends, compromising and interacting with others.

It would have been different if there was only one thing available and your child was still using it. In that instance I'd have said its OK to say no as you're still using it, but the other child would like a turn so why don't you play for 5 more minutes and then we'll let someone else have a go. It was highly unreasonable for you to hoard communal toys leaving other kids without for over an hour. I'm not surprised the other parents called you out and tried to over ride you. It was also their job to try to stand up for their children.

I’m sorry but you seem like the kind of parent who lets their kid stay on the swing (or whatever) for as long as the child wants, oblivious to the fact that dozens of other kids are waiting, because they’re ‘just having their turn’. Really selfish and self-absorbed.

Assuming there’s plenty for everyone, then keeping one or maybe two toys to himself for the hour would have been fine but taking 7+ toys and refusing to share any is selfish. There’s no way he could actively been playing with all of them the whole time.

If you’d looked around at the time, you’d have realised that they’d come to you because no one else gad allowed their child to take so many at once.

Because your son was at the same side of the pool as the other children, so of course they’re going to approach the shared toys nearest them that belong to the pool To play with them

You do realise that when they are shared toys taking ownership of what sounds like five or six toys for an hour is not appropriate.

You can’t just take whatever you want and then hold onto them for as long as you want. That’s like taking three sun lounges using one of them and saying that the others are yours he couldn’t be playing with all of those toys at the same time. He collected a pile of shared toys and then played with them alternatively That’s not how shared things work

That’s like going to the gym and taking the 5 kg 7 kg 10 kg and 12 kg weights holding onto them all and using just the 5 kg planning to use the other ones later on in your workout That’s not how it works

I’m glad you highlighted this, I’m genuinely interested in a 3 year old who would talk to an adult like that, twice without the parent of the 3 year old commenting or engaging with the other parent?

You obviously don't even know the meaning of sharing so I'm not surprised your child doesn't.

I think there are two sides to a story here. While yes, I agree that kids don’t have to hand over toys instantly when they are still playing, it’s also important to let your kids know at the start that there are limited toys for everyone to play with and 1-2 toys may be enough.

Since you say "I'm genuinely interested to know what others think," I have to tell you that what strikes me most is what a wonderful child you have. How delightful to have a toddler saying "No, thank you, I'm playing," instead of "No, it's mine!"

Yeah, same “No thank you”. 🙄

I am not asking if you want something - I’m asking for something from YOU.

You arent teaching your child to share if their turn lasts for as long as they want..

OP maybe get him his own toys to take and then if he’s challenged you can step in.

An hour in the pool and you hogging a lot of toys. Yabu. How many other buckets etc were they?