AIBU to ask my mum to cancel her holiday hotel booking?

Certainly don’t tell her what your plans are when you are there

I do think it’s too late now and you’ve learned a lesson.

I got a good deal on a hotel and dinner DW and I decided to make it a ‘dirty weekend’. On the phone to my mum and DW said tell her about that hotel offer - I knew immediately my mum would assume it was an invite but it was too late, she’d already heard. So my mum joined our little dirty weekend 🫣

DW could not understand why telling someone about a good deal was an invite, but to me I knew it came across that way, so we adapted.

I think you need to be sterner than that! She wasn’t invited and she clearly knew what she was doing by booking before you could answer.Tell her it’s not acceptable behaviour and you don’t want her there. Remind her that this type of behaviour is weird, will likely create animosity in your relationship and that you’ll be wary of sharing anything in future. If she loses money, it’s her own fault. Ridiculous that she’s being this entitled!

Totally agree with this post.
It is your fault as you sent her the link so you’ll just have to make the most of the situation or cancel.

she may not cancel, if she does you may have to give her something towards the cost

😆🤣😆 erm no, she doesn’t have to give her ‘something towards the cost’ 🤣😆🤣

if you don’t want family joining you on holiday don’t tell them where you’re going until the 11th hour. Simples

I had this years ago with a family member on a very long haul flight that I had booked just for me and the one child I had then. They messaged me asking the plan and i like a buffoon forwarded the email straight to this family member who went and booked it also and I had to spend 5 weeks around them. Thankfully I knew people over there and we had other family but never ever again will I give info like that out freely.

I think you need to just tell your mum that you and your son are looking forward to one on one time and you will not be entertaining her. Remind her of the previous holiday. If she insists on going still I dont know what you can do but try your best to put her off as much as you can asap.

I wouldn’t ask her, l would tell her. Or cancel. She sounds mental

How do you think the 'celebrating ' emoji fits that narrative?

I think your wording, first solo holiday with my son, makes it sound as though you didn't want it to be a solo trip.

Never send her the link. Next time, either go quiet or say "cant remember "

I think gate crashing someone’s holiday is worse!! OP couldn’t do that anyway as I’m sure she’d lose money too.

No, I wouldn’t do that. I’d avoid her at all costs. Not even one meal at the hotel restaurant.

Maybe compromise with her and say that your welcome to meet up during the holiday but will be doing some excursions alone with your son. Hope she can appreciate that.

I am only now trying hard to learn from things that other people do that cause me angst... and that I could have designed out.

Bite lip when family say things that show they know nothing because they do not listen to anything I've been saying or sharing all along. So I stop 'saying and sharing', so I'm not in that position again.

In hindsight, you shouldn't have sent the link. One to learn from for next time.

I'd do whatever I could to go to a different place.

She's got a real nerve - sending someone a link isn't saying "Come on my holiday with me" ffs.

I'd rather have it out with her now when you have the support of your husband at home than wait until you're on a miserable holiday with her.

After your previous experience I'm surprised you weren't more careful about oversharing on this occasion. You'll probably upset her, she may not cancel, if she does you may have to give her something towards the cost..
Next time keep quiet

Don’t try to trick her with the ‘I sent you the wrong hotel’ nonsense.
You have to be straight and fair and honest. Take the emotion out of it.

‘Thanks for asking if you could book to join us but I wish you had waited for my response which would have been negative, as you surely must have guessed.
We all agree that it really didn’t work last time you did the same thing.
So please, either cancel your booking or invite somebody to join you so that Alfie and I can do our own thing, completely separately, without a having to suffer a repeat of last year. Nothing personal mum, but I do feel strongly about this.
I regret sending my original message, as it has led to this confusion’

Could you compromise and suggest that she only comes for 1 or 2 nights?

I am absolutely delighted for you. I said something similar under a different name years and years ago so I’m glad a similar message reached you.

Yes it’s life changing. (Mine was from my friends experience with partner not parents, but v similar lightbulb moment for her).

What do you mean that told her you have the wrong hotel information but she’s having none of it? She thinks you’re lying?

I'd cancel and re arrange for you and your boy. I'd take the hit money wise since there is no price on your time with your son, and you will be raging every minute you are in the same resort/hotel as your mad mother!

She can arrange to bring a friend and go ahead and enjoy her holiday without you.

Only possible solution, and it's one I wouldn't hesitate to take.

@TheDenimPoet "Do you not tell your family when you book a holiday? It's called chatting, and being interested in each other's lives? You sound horrendously fun."

I personally don't feel the need to tell my family about my every move, no. I would only tell certain members if my absence would impact them in some way or if I was going for a long time and they might be worried. Or maybe if the destination was of particular interest them. But other than that, why would my middle aged brother want to know when and where I was going for week's holiday, or vice versa. If social media didn't exist, would I write my bro and SIL a letter just to announce my week in Butlins in October? I very much doubt it.

Yeah @cantthinkofagoodusername2026 the OP needs to modify her plans by changing where she and her son are staying. (And NOT telling her mother!)

This is very unfortunate and I think your DM is being a CF. However it sounds like she is going to be there, whether you like it or not. My advice is to not modify your plans in any way to accomodate her. If she complains, tell her that she wasn't invited in the first place.