to ask how to deal with family criticism over sending our child to a private school?

How ridiculously rude. I suspect I could run rings around you in terms of original thought and my dcs would whoop your ass. As for interaction with people from a different background, well your ignorance shines through loud and clear.

Ah, how did I miss the plot twist? Yawn.

Personally I do . Whilst I agree with the family view, I personally would close every private school down and private hospitals and any other public service which is an essential to life. People who use private bang on about how they get better care, better results in school. Well just maybe, if the people who pay for these services had to stay in the system they would improve. Instead the rich don't care because they do not need to use them.

I think it is dangerous for the state to control everything that is "essential to life".

History tells us that can end very badly.

Those people are also paying taxes which support state schools and the nhs.

I suppose you don't believe they should work hard and earn money either.

Tell me more about your little utopia where everyone earns the same, everyone is looked after by the state and there is no free choice. Will everyone be employed by the state too? No aspirations? Will everyone live in identical houses? we wouldn't want anyone having a nicer house than anyone else.

I find it really strange that people get so incensed about private school. There are lots of things that aren't "fair" or give individuals privileges but let's not insist that people avoid these things unless everyone can take advantage. That's not helping anyone.

Most of us have limited resources, time and money and we have to make choices based on our own circumstances and priorities. That's just life.

As parents we try to do what we feel is best for our families and we accept that other things work for other families, from the jobs and working hours we have to the house location and size we live in and yes, to our children's education, hobbies and leisure time, the food we eat and the holidays we take.

If your in laws don't want your child mixing with people who attend private school, does that mean the child can't do any hobbies that "private school kids" do? No music lessons outside of school in case the child gets ideas above her station? What about TV and films, should she not watch certain things in case that influences her too much, no Harry Potter because Hogwarts is a boarding school?

It's a shame that the in laws are taking this stance but if you capitulate or act apologetic then you're sending the wrong message to your child. How would you want your child to behave when they're being told that they shouldn't go to the private school? You need to model that. If it means a family split then it's them that are forcing it.

And no, I've not used private schools myself or for my family. I don't care whether others do though.

I always find it interesting that such a huge fuss is made about private education (I think most sensible people accept that a certain amount of private healthcare is needed to avoid the country and indeed, the NHS, grinding to a halt).

...when food, which is absolutely necessary to.life, is provided almost completely privately, and for profit to boot!

@RunBeforeBreakfast
It's absolutely griping them isn't it?
You dared to do what they would've done given the chance
When brought up again
I feel you have to totally ignore
But be prepared to be accused of snobbery
Or better still
Keep your distance
Lot of green-eye going on there over a matter that's nothing to do with them

They don’t need to ‘accept your choice’.
they need to stfu about something which is of no concern to them.
it’s your money , your child, your child’s education - and your choice . Remind them that you are not making a political statement - you are merely doing what you consider appropriate for your child .

Your first mistake was in listening to them and engaging with them! I am always amazed on MN how many families seem to live in each others pockets, telling each other things, considering everything up for discussion! Probably one of the advantages of living abroad when ours were small and not being one who talks about much in the way of family matters.

But be prepared to be accused of snobbery

'Thank you, you're very kind' really puzzles those who say this, their little brows are very furrowed, it can only add to life's amusement.

It is a political statement

Gosh no, you are not being unreasonable.
I had the rare experience of attending private (day and boarding) and a state school. I can categorically say the standard of education I received excelled with private schooling - not because the teachers are better, but simply because the class sizes are smaller, the students tend to be more academic (if they have to pass entrance exams to get in) and there is a general expectation to excel. With state, most of the pupils didn’t care. State focused on the pupils at the bottom of the class and the bright ones were overlooked because class sizes were huge. My child is at a private school and I don’t give a hoot what people, I want him to have the best opportunities in life, why is that a bad thing? Ignore anyone who criticises you (it’s jealousy) - you’re doing the best for your family.