to ask how to deal with family criticism over sending our child to a private school?

You’re very entitled to your opinion.

However I’d love to hear how a child who goes to the local state school with only people who also live within the same 5 mile radius is stunted compared to one who goes to a school where students travel in from miles away or even (if a boarding school) have friends from around the world.

And you can leave the “only working class people are real people” crap out - my DC have plenty of school friends who are builders/nurses/cleaners and (like us) live in normal houses/flats as scholarships, bursaries and inheritance don’t mean kids at private school are all millionaires.

Much more money flaunting bullshit when they were at state school!

I don’t think it’s ‘fair’ that they exist but I absolutely would send my kids to private school if I could afford it. Not that my opinion matters. And their opinion doesn’t matter either! Do whatever you think is best for your children

Might it not also be true that children educated in the state system may have little to no understanding of people not educated in the state system and of different socioeconomic backgrounds from their own, though? That might stunt them just as much.

Just ignore. None of their business. Must be lefties I'd guess. Childless lefties even worse, as there's nothing like an actual real child to make idealistic principles go out of the window.

Who are these people and why they air their opinions on the phone with you or at lunch like it is in their power to do so?

my parents nor my in laws have ever had any power given by me to air opinions

Thanks for your opinion and advice but you have raised your children with your morals and ideals and this is our turn and our choice you have raised this a lot and we won’t be changing our mind on what you said so shall we agree not to discuss this further after all we’re not sending you the bill so it’s not relevant to you she’s our child and this is our choice.

no it isn't

Never mind the fact that OP does not have to explain her decisions to her in-laws

But if her in-laws truly wanted the kids to grow up with a balanced view of the world and its differences, they would shut up and do anything to stay in their lives.....
..so that they can play out their virtue signalling in real life by taking them volunteering to homeless shelters or something, as I'm sure they do regularly.

😂😇😂I mean OK boomer

“This is the choice we’ve made, I’m not getting into a debate about it. If you don’t like private schools, you don’t have to send your child to one.”

We did. Especially the older generation.

We’re now a few years down the line, and my judgiest aunt keeps nagging her own kids to look at private schools for their children due to how well our DC have got on and the experiences they’ve had. (Same local area, same shit state schools.)

Safe to say I didn’t react at all but smirked on the inside.

How are they wording their dislike? Do you think it’s a case where they would do it if they could afford to? I think my response to them would depend on the answer to that question.

What a vile comment. She’s doing no such thing.

As an employer, the thing that i find almost universally offputting amongst private applicants, is the 'private school swagger', a dangerous mix of arrogance and ignorance which (i imagine they believe comes across as confidence). Itvis dangerous because they do not recognise their own weaknesses.

I had this from a few people.

I just looked at them blankly as if to say what’s it got to do with you? And used phrases like “do you, that’s nice dear, well everyone has different priorities, it works for us”, then changed direction and asked someone to pass me the salt, gosh is it raining?

You need to practise a “it’s not your place to comment” vibe.

I did give someone it back once who went on about my kids in private school, and he owned and rented out 3 properties!!! Which one is the biggest pariah ?

Cool.

But you’d keep it to yourself if family decided to privately educate hopefully

This is why I believe private schooling should be abolished. It should be not be possible to buy the chance for your son to discover that talent. It’s morally absurd.

However, we are where we are and the OP’s choice does deserve respect or at least silence from her family

Well of course they have always been good to you up until this point! They always thought you towed the line with their politics. Now they are aghast that you have a different view and they are determined to make you change

"Did you mean to be so rude? We acknowledged your disapproval the first time. It's noted. Now since we've covered that topic, let's move on to talking about Fly Fishing By JJR Hartley. I'm sure this is a topic you really want to hear our strongly held opinions about on repeat too".

By 18 they’ll have sadly missed out on 5 years of training
but yes - some uni offers this

Because no university has a rowing club whereas every private school does🙄

He same family who criticised, judge, call her “cruel” and ignore the explicit request not to carry on talking about it or contact will cease.

So yes… clearly boundaries or rather a lack thereof - is an issue

But that sadly is the case for some because of the opportunities that they won’t know that they’d have flourished in ie my son would have no idea he’s an incredible rower if it hadn’t been for his school.

Whereas you said privately educated are “damaged for life” and “socially isolated”. And have no idea how to basically engage with anyone aside from their immediate peers.

Essentially…. Froth

That’s fair. I was just making a suggestion as she wants to try to find a way through it without losing contact, which I understand

Can you not just defend your choice to them so they can’t criticise?