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to ask how to deal with family criticism over sending our child to a private school?

338 replies

RunBeforeBreakfast · 07/06/2026 14:32

If you have sent your children to private school, have you had any negativity about it from others, especially family? If so how have you dealt with it?

Our children currently go to state primary but our oldest will be going to a private secondary school in September. It’s a nice school and we feel it will suit her. Since telling our family, some of them have been really critical of our choice as they don’t agree with private schools. I’ve listened to what they have said and understand their point of view, but ultimately, it’s our choice and I’ve said I don’t want to keep talking about it as the decision has been made. They stopped for a while but last week on the phone and at a meal yesterday they brought it up again, with our children there. They’ve never been interested in our children’s schooling until now.

OP posts:
StarPyjamas · 07/06/2026 14:44

RunBeforeBreakfast · 07/06/2026 14:41

Not really my family, no and certainly not to this extent.

But still, if you can't learn to ignore it your only other option is to risk upsetting them by bluntly telling them to stop it.

There aren't many other options available.

Unless you do some work on yourself in terms of examining why you care.

RunBeforeBreakfast · 07/06/2026 14:44

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 07/06/2026 14:43

None of their business, unless you are asking them to contribute towards the fees.

No, definitely not!

OP posts:
Thundertoast · 07/06/2026 14:43

"This is getting boring now" and change the subject, grey rock style. They clearly dont worry about being rude to you so why bother being polite to them.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 07/06/2026 14:43

None of their business, unless you are asking them to contribute towards the fees.

StarPyjamas · 07/06/2026 14:42

Tinglylips · 07/06/2026 14:41

Honestly…. No. Not here.

And I’m not remotely a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination!

If no-one has ever remotely made you feel criticised for doing something differently, I'd say you're fairly unique.

However, it's more likely the OP is in the same position as most of us.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 07/06/2026 14:42

Just say that she’s really looking forward to it and change the subject. Repeat as needed.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 07/06/2026 14:41

You don't need to.
I too hate this kind of thing, its of no relevance to anyone else.

If they do keep on look them in the eye and say to them "sorry, can I just stop you there for a sec, can you remind me when it was I asked you for your opinion on the matter"... thats it, that's all you say.

RunBeforeBreakfast · 07/06/2026 14:41

StarPyjamas · 07/06/2026 14:38

There must have been many times when people have criticised the things you do for your kids, and parenting etc.

If you haven't learned to ignore by now, I doubt you ever will.

In which case there's nothing you can do.

Not really my family, no and certainly not to this extent.

OP posts:
Tinglylips · 07/06/2026 14:41

StarPyjamas · 07/06/2026 14:38

There must have been many times when people have criticised the things you do for your kids, and parenting etc.

If you haven't learned to ignore by now, I doubt you ever will.

In which case there's nothing you can do.

Honestly…. No. Not here.

And I’m not remotely a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination!

concertinacornflake · 07/06/2026 14:40

You just have to say 'my kids, my choice:.

If they raise it again, tell them you won't be seeing them unless they let it drop.

MakingPlans2025 · 07/06/2026 14:39

“Fuck off, it’s none of your business”. The end.

StarPyjamas · 07/06/2026 14:38

There must have been many times when people have criticised the things you do for your kids, and parenting etc.

If you haven't learned to ignore by now, I doubt you ever will.

In which case there's nothing you can do.

Tinglylips · 07/06/2026 14:33

Shrug, smile, and look blankly at them.

Mine go private and thank god I don’t have family like this. I just wouldn’t see them!

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