To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?

Mumsnet doesn’t approve of age gap relationships…

These acronyms. I thought BF was a boyfriend. So I am thinking she already has a boyfriend. So what does he make of it? Then I read on and thought but he has a boyfriend as well.

I think the strangest thing here is her responses. But if she is actively looking for sex rather than commitment then her replies make more sense. I would focus more on helping her establish safe boundaries rather than worry about particular men she is meeting up with.

I will say it again, the "Half your age plus 7" rule should be enshrined into law. It would solve so many problems.

Oh no 😟 Your DD sounds vulnerable and he sounds like a potential predator (I don’t mean child predator as yes, OP’s DD is an adult but he sounds like a predatory man in general)

"Would you like to go for dinner?". "I'm on my period." What a bizarre response!

"To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?"

Maybe not but reverse the roles, there are many reasons why a 22 yr old would be interested in a 40yr old man, not least of all, money and maturity.

One of my nephews - 42 married a girl 21, he was a very good catch, they got on well enough at first, now they live more or less separate lives but she wears the trousers, no kids - her choice. It suits her to be Mrs XXX he funds her lifestyle, seems to suit him.

So the only reason men do absolutely anything is for sex?
My male partner has looked after me through serious illness, was that just for sex?
He works 12 hour shifts. Is that just for sex?
He looks after his elderly parent. Is that just for sex?
You have clearly had some bad experiences.

Both people are adults.
The end.

Gross. At her age I saw men older than 25-26 as too old and creepy. Now I’m mid 30s, I see 22 year olds as a different generation and feel old among them, I don’t always understand the new slang/lingo etc.

I was with someone who was 27 and I was 17.
You are absolutely correct in my experience.
Although not the same age gap I wouldn't allow this with my daughter 😩

If that’s what she wants, it’s a bit rich to be blaming the man for potentially only being interested for sex.

I dated a guy of 44 when I was 21. We were together for 3-4 years in a mostly successful relationship. We had great sex (for both of us) and genuinely laughed a lot together. In retrospect he wasn’t a particularly grown up 44 year old but, even in my early 20’s I was not a woman to be controlled.

I won’t deny that he treated me badly at the end of our relationship but he didn’t get away with it for long and I called time on him. We were great friends for a number of years afterwards and I leant on him after my next “heartbreak”

Edited to add that in the beginning of our relationship it was me that pursued him.

At 22 I have to say I would never have gone for a guy in their 40s for FWB. She surely has more in common with guys her age and frankly the 20s guys are usually hotter too.

I did sleep with an older guy once but to make it a regular thing? No chance. Also no one is saying the man is a pervert without knowing him but some of us are speaking through the lens of wisdom and experience.

YABU Your daughter is a grown woman but since MN absolutely hates age gap relationships the majority here will think this man is some sort of pervert. The whole thing about “warning” him she’s on her period is very strange though and what’s even stranger is your daughter telling her mother all this.

Of course he's probably after sex. Just as she probably is, as a 22 year old woman.

I would also be concerned but she’s a grown woman and I can fully imagine deciding to sleep with a 40-year-old man when I was her age, if I was attracted to him and/or felt we had loads in common.

I know two couples with 15-year age gaps who have been happily married for years. Admittedly they met IRL not online but the world has changed and I think you need to give some gentle advice, then stay out of it.

Not at all dramatic. And abuse comes in many forms.
Happened to me, although I was 22 and he was only 31.
Took me ten years and two kids to realise, once I'd properly grown up.
And another 15 to leave.

It’s just basic evolutionary biology and the result of thousands of generations of human sexual selection.

The reason a 40 year old man might be interested in a 22 year old woman is blatantly obvious. Sex. He wants to shag a young hottie at the peak of her physical attractiveness.

It works exactly the same way in reverse, of course, for reasons that are also blatantly obvious. Money. Hot young women are attracted to older, much wealthier men because they can provide access to plentiful resources for her and her future children.

Try not being so invested in your 22 year old DDs sex life. Shes a grown adult and can make her own decisions. You might not like those decisions but they are hers to make.
She will learn .....

Because she’s 22, not 32, and has virtually no adult life experience. This is why she shouldn’t be dating a 40 year old man. They still think like teenagers at this age.

Maybe, I thought she sounded ‘young for her age’.

I’m early 30s now, no way a man in his 40s would’ve turned my head ten years ago.

I think your DD sounds vulnerable to being misused by this guy purely because she told him she has her period. There is no reason to give out this kind of detailed private info so soon.

Our brains don’t finish fully growing until 25. I had a boyfriend who was near 30 at 22 and that was bad enough. Why? Because he was sexually pushy and because he wanted to push all his fully formed ideas on the world onto me when I was still just figuring out who I was.