To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?

A fat wallet?

Well, how will I ever respond to such a cutting and insightful rebuke…

No, and presumably the man OP dd is going out with isn’t like that either? But are you actually saying as long as they are rich, successful and attractive then it’s ok?

Sure thing sugar...whatever you need to believe to get you through the day.

errmm it’s incredibly common for younger women to b attracted to older men - money, stability, maturity. Any number of reasons. I personally know of several examples from work, university and my social circle.

Why do middle aged men sniff around 20 year old girls? For the answer to this and more of life's little mysteries tune in next week!

Id be a bit worried about why my DD was attracted to a much older man. Most 22 year olds would view a man that age as "old" etc.

Is her own dad around? Is she seeking a father figure? Is she a worrier/anxious type gravitating towards someone she views as a protector?

Young enough to be his daughter, yuk

Make her watch An Education.

That’s one thing but the other is how absolutely tragic it is that she feels she needs to tell him that, like she’s giving him an ‘out’ because she can’t, or won’t want to, have sex, like she thinks that’s all she’s good for and all he’s interested in. Can’t imagine ever doing that.
You listed all their interests in common op so there’s a chance they’re genuinely interested in the other as a person… but the age gap is a bit dodgy ground. It’s not as clear cut as some cases imo, because she is 22, so not white so alarming as, say, a 18/19 year old. But it’s a big gap nonetheless. Ultimately it’s not up to you and not your business.

I think it can be all of the above. He likes the chats with DD, fancies her, feels there is kudos in dating half his age and isn't seen as a good prospect by women the same age (I would get the ick if I dated a 40 year old who wanted to talk anime a lot)

If he is financially stable, they have lots in common and DD fancies him, then I don't see a big short term problem. Lots of young women find older men attractive. But longer term I would be asking her how she would feel if he was an infirm 80 year old, and she was a fit and healthy 60 year old who needed to care for him.

She told him probably because she was worried he'd want sex. F*cking on the first date is very much a term on ssocial media (I hate the term!!) and many women think men expect it, idk if they do because I've only had one boyfriend. She's probably setting firm boundaries that he shouldn't expect sex which is what we do so I find it odd other women commenting that shed tell him she's on her period. It's for her own comfort r and safety

When I was 25 someone who was 37 asked me out. After being told no, he kept harassing me to meet up to talk. (We'd been on a date which I didn't enjoy and I couldn't see it going anywhere) He tried it on again a few months later

A mutual friend told me he has a girlfriend. I had suspected this and he claimed they weren't together

OP when you were her age you had a kid so perhaps you don’t really have a lot of life experience outside your own domestic setting so you’re thinking the worst of him. Perhaps he just wants sex with a younger woman or perhaps he’s genuinely interested in her as a person. Either way, it’s her business and for your daughter to work out who she wants to date. You chose something different at that age, it’s up to her to make her own choices too!

He wants to take her out for dinner on Monday. She's told him she's on her period,

I have never felt the need to disclose details of my reproductive system when invited on a dinner date.

Those are celebrities, very good looking men, far above the average. There are probably older female celebs that some young boys have a crush on, doesn't mean they'd be interested in an actual relationship or chasing a middle aged woman. As it should be.

I doubt you'd have been lusting after the balding, paunchy specimens who used to lurk in the clubs, thinking they have the world to offer young girls.

My ds1 and I are similar ages to you and your dd. There is no way I would date someone his age and I wouldn't be happy about him dating someone my age either (thankfully he feels the same way). However I know some people who have and it's worked. I remember watching friends when Monica goes out with Richard and he says people his own age are boring, so it could be that. My friend used to go out with older men (not that much older though) and she liked it that they had money, cars and could buy alcohol. They liked it that she was impressed by those things. We as a group of 16 and 17 year olds welcomed these men in their mid to late twenties into our group. They seemed nice but I wouldn't date anyone with that big an age gap. Dh is nearly 3 years older and that's enough age gap for me thanks. It seemed huge when we first met but not for long. Although his mum described him as nearly 50 recently which was a bit horrifying (he isn't anyway, he's 46).

So that's her genuine reason for being interested in him.

If he's attracted to her that's also a genuine reason. I'm unsure why sexual attraction is not considered a legitimate reason for a lot of posters.

They also share a lot of mutual interests. Same music, same shows, same games - these are all important things! They're the kind of shared interests I met both friends and sexual partners through.

I personally didn't give 40-year-olds a second look when I was 22 but I knew some women my age who did. That's not abnormal either.

I'm not seeing any signs of coercion, manipulation or power imbalances and they both seem to be on the same page.

Oh we cross-posted but I was about to say - then decided not to get into it - but absent father issues are often a trigger for women to date much older men.

I think there is a massive difference between being able to have things in common and enjoy the company of someone nearly 20 years older or younger and wanting to be in a romantic relationship.

There has to be some kind of maturity issue on his part for that to appeal.

And, speaking plainly, the women I know who have done it tend to have their own reasons and issues for angling toward that sort of age gap.

I can't believe she told him she was on he period before a first date! I'm glad these things can be talked about these days, but after 15 years of marriage I still only mention it to DH if it is topical - and it really, really shouldn't be topical with someone you have never met ...

But it is not usual for the 'biologically healthy' young girl (bleurgh) to be even remotely interested in someone who, lets face it, is far past their prime. When they came on to us in bars/clubs to my group of friends the reactions ranged from raucous laughter to revulsion

Speak for yourself - I've always fancied older.
Alan Rickman, anyone?! ♥️ Think he was in his 40s when I was a young teen obsessed with Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Sheriff of Nottingham 😍
Not to mention Sean Bean. Also will have been in his 40s when I was 22.

They are consenting adults. She is clearly attracted to him too.

All you can do is hope she uses protection and keeps her wits about her.

The fact that they met online means he's specifically looking for that age range, which i think is weird tbh.

It's a bit different to getting to know someone at work or at a hobby or whatever and it turning into something more.

IME there are very rarely (never) good reasons for middle aged men to be actively seeking out very young women for relationships

The period comment tells him she's up for it! What a thing to tell someone you've never met. Is be furious at my daughter for revealing such an intimate detail. Is she SEN?