To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?

Tell her not to leave her drink unattended. He sounds like a creep .

Absolutely weird. Who does that? Just declining shagging on the night should suffice rather than informing him of her menstrual cycle .

I don't understand the horror, really. Is it outside what we normally see? Sure. But I don't think there's much merit to the immediate assumption that there must be something 'wrong' with him! 40 is hardly decrepit.

Youth is attractive, that's pretty much it. So it's no surprise he's interested. And loads of women are attracted to older men - young men can be idiots/immature/flaky/unreliable etc. I regret a lot of those relationships back in my 20s.

So it's not something you see everyday but why everyone is baffled by it is a bit odd.

Well, there's having concerns about your dd dating a creep twice her age then there's 'Like I said, as her mum, I don't like this; I'd rather she remained a virgin until her wedding day' which I'm sure is tongue in cheek but a bit weird nonetheless.

Sadly, you'll just have to smile and nod and hope your dd sees sense. Is she very immature and sees it as an ego boost?

Boris Johnson and Carrie have a 23 year age gap and they are doing ok.but I wouldnt like it either, I dated a man for 3 years in my 20s who was 16 years older, it didnt work out in the end. My friend also married a man who was 20 years older. In both cases it was the women that walked away leaving the poor old sods crying into their whiskey. As really its more likely your daughter will leave him high and dry to persue younger men once she gets bored, than the other way around.

She sounds very immature. Very weird to tell a man she’s never met that she’s on her period. You’re right to be concerned. But play your cards right. Don’t drive her into his arms. Difficult one.

People in their twenties can be at completely different stages of life and maturity. One can be a NEET in their childhood bedroom and one can be a married parent of three children.

I finished (US) law school when I was 25 and got married a few weeks after turning 26, so I definitely wasn’t a child at 25.

I agree and I’m 33. I teach 18-22 year olds primarily and they are just not attractive to me, they are still basically children in my eyes. I do have a colleague who is in a LTR with a former student so he met her at 18/19 but didn’t start dating till she’d finished her PhD at 25. Some older colleagues who remember still don’t like him as a result.

I do think it’s weird. One of my former school friends is married and has children with a man she met at 19 when he was 56.

If people those ages meet in a real-life, non-romantic way and a mutual attraction develops, I think it’s possible in a minority of cases that they can both develop genuine, deep feelings about each other. If a 40-year-old is contacting a 22-year-old on a dating site, though, my guess is that it’s largely about sex.

She is convinced he wants more and is a decent bloke, and seems to be considering the idea of dating him rather than just shagging him once or twice a week. I'd be less worried about the latter, despite not liking it.

Rereading your latest update @Frequency , it seems you're more concerned about why an unknown 40 year old would want a relationship with your 22 year old daughter, than your 22 year old arranging to have sex with an unknown 40 year old man.

I can't help but feel you're focusing on the wrong thing here...

She must be ok with the age if she'd set her range to include 40 year olds on the apps.

Is he actually 40? A lot of men lie to avoid getting cut off.

It’s sexual attraction. Nature dictates that a younger female will be able to get pregnant and bear children more easily than someone older. It may be subconscious, but men are naturally more attracted to younger women. They are biologically driven to reproduce.

As a mother I wouldn't like my DD dating a 40 year old man. But at 22 your DD is an adult so it really is her business only who she is sleeping with.

However, telling him she's on her period before she's even met him is completely inappropriate and there's no need to disclose such information. Your DD needs to learn to stop over sharing every aspect of her life, which unfortunately seems to be the trend nowadays.

I think of it comes to just sex, its sort of ok. The problem is, its often not just sex, as both sides could have some deep issues that create a lot of emotions around the relationship - and I would not wish on any young woman to be in love with someone who is old enough to be her dad.

OP was a mother at that age! I don't understand the hyperbole of calling adults children on here.

A lot of games and anime are 18+.

There is a similar age gap between DH and I, albeit I’m older than your DD. We’ve been married nearly 10 years now and still click on every level

A 40-year-old man in decent shape is still fairly attractive. And they may have things in common, enjoy one another's sense of humour, etc. It doesn't strike me as all that odd.

Me neither....

But OP only seems to think it's the man after one thing, which TBF she has no real right to judge especially when her own DD seems up for it and it's not her first time with an older man either.

Why is she telling men that she’s on her period ahead of a first date? Why is she sharing such personal information and implying she would have sex with him if this wasn’t the case?

Time to talk to her about boundaries and maybe what is appropriate to share with others ahead of knowing them.

A 40 year old man playing games and watching anime is weird. He sounds immature at best

At 22 I had a boyfriend who was 42. His daughter wasn't much younger than me.
We got on pretty well but it really was all about sex. I assumed being older and experienced it would be amazing. It really wasn't, he was a complete caveman!
It only lasted a few months but having mutual friends, we've always stayed in touch.
But yeh... minds CAN be in sync with that gap at that age..but it's not the norm!

I am 31 and I have a friend who is 19. He is a baby. He still stinks like teenage boy and act like he’s invincible. He calls me mum 😂😂

As for why a 22-year-old woman would want to date a 40-year-old... Well, to be frank, some young women are physically attracted to older men. I was, at that age, though my DH was only in his 30s when we married.

A 40-year-old man in decent shape is still fairly attractive. And they may have things in common, enjoy one another's sense of humour, etc. It doesn't strike me as all that odd.

I am in my forties. I know plenty of people in their early twenties. They are children. They are not dating material. They're not even close friend material because they are children. They act like children even if they no longer look like children. Where they are in their life and what their goals are, what they enjoy spending their time and money on, do not correlate with mine at all

Oh ffs, here we go with the MN infantilisation of young adults. People in their early 20s are not children and do not, as a collective, act like children. They don’t have as much life experience as older people obviously, but that doesn’t make them metaphorically like children. Your DD is old enough to be married and a parent herself, old enough to vote, to own a business etc. I qualified as a doctor at 22. At 23, I was the most senior doctor on-site at night in a standalone psychiatric hospital.

Very odd that she’d tell him she’s on her period before a first date. What has the world come to?

As with many online daters and men in general, he is almost certainly only or mostly interested in women below a certain age and it’s significantly younger than he is.

I think a lot of men would do this if they can. His response to her telling him about her period is also a bit creepy in my opinion. The normal response would be something along the lines of “why did you tell me that?” surely?