To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?

Fully grown physically maybe but her brain isn’t fully developed for a good few years yet. I can look at someone in their early 20’s and see them as beautiful, but I’m not attracted to them, it feels wrong.

I'd think they were both up for a shag.

"She's told him she's on her period"

What the Hell.???

My jaw is on the floor here. She told a man she barely knows that she's on her period to head off any idea they will sleep together on the first date?

I am so old. In my day, if anything was suggested, a simple "no, I don't do that" was usually quite enough, and if it wasn't, then it was a handy guide for who to refuse a second date with.

What happened?

I disagree. I married someone 21 years older. I never felt as though there was any age difference. It was an amazing relationship. We could talk for hours, were constantly laughing, doing the 'silly' things couples do and had mind-blowing sex. We could just sit in silence and snuggle up on the sofa watching TV; we were content and happy. It really was a wonderful relationship. We were a real team and had a brilliant time together. I don't regret a single second of it.

Let them find out if it works for them.

Surely you would want her to be happy?

Life is too short.

but what about when its the younger one that wants the older person ?

I see the date has now been cancelled. However given your DD was looking for sex I am not sure why this guys motives were being questioned. From what you said, if anything he seemed more interested in a relationship with her - not unreasonable seeing as they get on and have shared interests.

The only regimes in the world that actually police relationships and punish people for having "wrong" ones are nations like Afghanistan and North Korea.

I don't think they're good role models.

@OonaStubbs It's disgusting and it should not be allowed. And the same applies to older women with younger men. People should date within a reasonable age range and yes it should be the law.

This perspective is ridiculous. The overwhelming majority of men receive very few matches on dating apps. But yet, you want to give an instruction for men to set an artificial restriction so they can't have relationships with an older man or woman, who is their age minus 7, times 2.

For literally no reason other than you want to be annoyed at people, for no reason.

The brain develops past 25, you've bought into a myth based on a study that only used participants up to the age of 25.

Also, the brain continuing to develop doesn't mean that under 25 or any other arbitary age the brain isn't 'working fully' and people can't make appropriate decisions.

The whole "your brain is fully developed by 25" thing is so oversimplified though. Yes your brain continues to develop, sometimes into the 30s even. The idea that your brain is fully cooked at exactly midnight on your 25th birthday is ridiculous and completely ignores the common sense approach that a maturing brain and frontal lobe has as much to do with life experience than simply biological age. Likewise, abuse and coercion is rife in relationships regardless of an age gap. I mean, should you not have been allowed to have children when you did given your brain wasn't developed? There are people in their 30s/40s/50s even with limited relational or life experience and people who have been living independently and are parents by 24. There's a million better ways to educate people about healthy relationships and provide support for anyone being abused than to impose these silly age rules on who grown adults can and cannot choose to have a relationship with.

I'm wondering how this would be policed, as women in our 30s will we need to report to someone who we're dating and asking permission? 😂

I know, what does she propose as punishment? Jail time?

You think it should be the law that a 50 year old and 31 year old can't date? Get a grip.

That’s ridiculous. It meant I wouldn’t have been in relationships for a good decade, as I didn’t want silly young men my own age, they were twats. There was never a power imbalance in the relationships I was in with older men. People should be free to make choices that work for them.

Don't be ridiculous. It's not disgusting, and the government has no right to be policing relationships like that.

My friend got together with her DH when she was 20 and he was 40. They're happily married nearly 30 years on. We all thought it was weird at the time but it has worked for them.

It's disgusting and it should not be allowed. And the same applies to older women with younger men. People should date within a reasonable age range and yes it should be the law.

You’re right to be concerned.. last one of those I knew, who was only interested in young women, had a decent job, a nice car, his own home, turned out to be a rapist and is currently serving time in prison.
Of course it might just be a coincidence that they like all the same stuff and he hasn’t found the right woman, but you’re right to be concerned. Let be honest.. if he’s such a good catch why is he still single? It’s more likely he’s a massive weirdo or sexual predator!

Does she know anything about him? As in, is he married? How would she feel if she discovered that he was?

Same as sugar daddy does?

Same here.
First marriages
Now 65 and 40 with kids 12 and 10

Yes there’s an expectation that we’re above our biological instincts and can logicalise our way out of them if we’re clever and moral enough, but I’m not convinced. I think the ‘good men’ who would never look at a 25 year old, only don’t because it isn’t socially acceptable in their circles to do so. As we know, men act very very differently around other women than they do their family/friend groups.

My ex husband was having an affair with a 20 something. I found out, kicked him out and divorced him. This wasn’t the first time he’d played away with a 20 something but convinced me to stay. This year she’s 30 and he’s 60… I find it utterly disgusting. He was bragging to his mates about her, but she’s now stuck with a diabetic, obese narcissist with no money and who is now claiming disability after he got beaten up for getting involved in a big fight! She knew he was married too. She’s also on disability. Me? I ended up with double the equity he got from the house, live in a beautiful area, and have a fantastic job. Karma really hit them! It’s creepy, and it’s vile and there’s zero reason for these old men to be going after such young women other than as a trophy