To be annoyed about DP saying my brother has ruined our holiday?

You should have left your brother at home!

OP, has your brother given both your DH and yourself a sincere, no-excuses apology? Or is he just hiding and feeling sorry for himself?

Your DH shouldn't be sulking, and I think the two of you need to talk. But think through your reaction to his initial anger. Did you treat it as valid or did you immediately jump to dismissing it and treating your DH as in the wrong for being angry at your brother? If it was the latter then consider beginning a conversation with your DH with an apology for that and then asking that you, he, and the DC move on and enjoy the holiday instead of letting your brother's choices ruin anything else.

Either he 'rarely drinks' or 'he's also got a habit of drinking too much'.

Make it make sense. 🙄

He has Type 1 Diabetes. And goes on benders. That send him into hypos. 2nd day of your holiday he gets so wasted (on his own) that you have to look after him overnight.

When I suggested you were enabling him, I wasn't kidding. Wake up.

He has ruined the holiday and will
continue to do so. I’d never let my brother come on a family holiday if he was going to behave that way

Your brother sounds immature and now your DP is being immature by storming off and sulking. What a pair.

They both need to grow up and start enjoying their holiday (without doing daft things like drinking excessively with T1 diabetes).

OP believes her own lies

Your brother has behaved like a dick. He’s young and he will learn. I don’t blame your DP for being annoyed tho, he’s spot on in what he’s said. He shouldn’t have to worry about your brother. Terrible idea to bring him on holiday and it isn’t fair on your husband or your kids. YABVU and owe your husband an apology.

He very rarely drinks? You said in your first post that "He's also got a habit of drinking too much ..."

Your brother needs to grow the fuck up, accept he is Type I diabetic and manage his health accordingly; not screw around forcing others (you) to keeps him safe. He's making himself the centre of your attention, and it's not on.

DP is correct

Grow up OP

Well it will if her dp continues to make things worse than they already are. Being cross because he had to look after his own kids for 1night and hasn't had any babysitting off his BiL is manchild behaviour.

Sorry, but I'd be annoyed in your partner's shoes, too. Your brother knows he's playing risky games with the alcohol. It's unfair that he has diabetes, but that's the hand fate has dealt him, and now he's putting his life in jeopardy and inflicting unnecessary drama on you (and by extension, your partner). The last time you need something like this is when you're on an expensive holiday trying to have a nice time. I'd resent your brother's selfishness.

I was wholly sympathetic until I read one of her later comments.

'DP was the one that suggested we invite brother for free on the basis he babysits for us during the holiday.'

Knowing what he already knew about the brother, he paid for his holiday ... so he could babysit? Absolutely crazy. I wouldn't trust him with a cat, never mind two very small children.

Blimey, this is the most sympathetic to a DH thread I’ve ever seen in here.

Even if you posted in Relationships, you’d probably only get about 30% LTB responses.

YAB extremely U.

Why did you bring your brother? He is irresponsible.

You need to stop fussing over him.

If he has a hypo it can be easily dealt with by drinking OJ and then eating properly (protein rich) and taking the right dose of insulin (I say this as a diabetic on insulin for 30 years). I carry a carton of juice with me everywhere. It's my safety net. He can do the same! In any case, your DB needs to get a grip otherwise he will die very young.

Your DH is right, in fact very patient.

You have responsibilities of your own, focus on them.

I wouldn't trust him to babysit my hamster , never mind my children

This. Too irresponsible to babysit if he can't make sensible choices about his own welfare

Enabling your brother's behaviour by not challenging him when he's being irresponsible is not doing him any favours. He's 22. Time to grow up. He has Type 1 Diabetes. Which he isn't managing properly. And mental health problems potentially being exacerbated by (or caused by) his drinking. God knows what it's doing to his Diabetes. You knew all of this before you invited him on your family holiday (with 2 children under 4).

You've already spent a night supporting him through a bender.

I can't for the life of me work out why you're annoyed with your partner for suggesting your brother's ruined your holiday. You orchestrated this mess by inviting your unstable (mentally & physically) alcoholic brother to tag along on your family vacation.

You should be apologising to your partner. And finding a way to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

'DP was the one that suggested we invite brother for free on the basis he babysits for us during the holiday.'

I posted my comment before I read this. I now have little empathy for either of you. Who invites a man with unstable diabetes, mental health issues and a drinking problem on a free holiday to ... babysit?

Bonkers! 🙄

I don't think it's black and white. DP has a right to be annoyed, yes, but looking after the kids alone for one evening is hardly a terrible trial. DP should have been up for his own baby anyway, surely?

Both of you must have agreed that your brother could come, so blaming you for his (unfortunately predictable) behaviour seems harsh. I'd understand if it went on all week but I think DP could be a bit more understanding and not morph into a 2nd man-child just to ensure everything gets shitter!

Ye gods, do not leave your children with your brother! He can't look after himself like a grown adult, let alone two children.

Pack him off home to mummy on the next available flight and stop enabling his idiocy at the expense of your own children's holiday.

I agree with this. You’re pandering to your brother when you really shouldn’t be. You should be with your husband and children. Your brother made his decision and he has to live with the consequences. Ask him to go home.

You're in a tough position. Your brother is an adult and should manage his own behaviour, but of course he may slip up from time to time. Your husband is also an adult and exasperated that your brother isn't managing better. You're caught between the two. I think your responsibility lies more towards your own children and DH; the limit of your responsibility to your brother is ensuring he is safe, ie basically still breathing. Nothing is ruined forever; focus on what's coming, not what's past.

YABVU, sorry to say this but you are. Leave the brother at home next time!

I’m with your DH on this one. Your DB is being a selfish prick!