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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about DP saying my brother has ruined our holiday?

311 replies

Lisatron · 01/06/2026 20:42

I'm currently away in Spain with DP, DD4, DS1 and my brother (22), I'm quite close to my brother and he comes over often when we're at home.

In the past he has struggled mentally, he's also T1 diabetic and while as a teen he ate alot of sugary things and didn't do his insulin and as a result he was very unwell. He's also got a habit of drinking too much which he can't do and he was once left by his ‘ friends’ when he had q hypo so I do worry about him lot, even though it's well managed he can make silly decisions especially when struggling.

Our mum mentioned to me before we left that he had been acting off again but he was saying he was “fine”, I hadn't noticed anything but I obviously kept it in mind.

We got here Saturday and it was already off to a bad start due to our flight being delayed, yesterday was good until last night when brother disappeared without saying where he was going. It turns out he was in a bar drinking on his own.

Long story short, he had a hypo and was argumentative when I was trying to help him, DP had our children with him and I was with my brother, he was eventually fine but I stayed with him in his room to keep an eye on him. He's spent the day in his room sleeping off his hangover

Dp wasn't pleased about me staying in his hotel room as the baby kept waking and he said “so much for a relaxing holidays” (as if we could get one with kids anyway) and was annoyed that he hasn't joined us so far after we paid for the holiday and has said it's like having another kid but instead we have a manchild acting like a moody teenager so tonight we've argued because he's annoyed that I'm obviously worried about my brother
he's now stormed out too after saying he's ruined the holiday

AIBU here or is he?

OP posts:
Tunnocks34 · 01/06/2026 20:50

Of course you’re being unreasonable. Your brother is an adult with a health condition, on a holiday with young children, paid for by someone else. And he has chose to go to a bar and get drunk, both an odd thing to do around children, but also extremely irresponsibly given his diabetes.

I am not sure how you don’t understand your husbands perspective and why you aren’t furious with your brother.

Zapx · 01/06/2026 20:49

I can’t say I’d be best impressed if my DH left me with the kids on holiday while he had to look after a sibling with a hangover who had had a preventable medical incident…

Is he being apologetic to you and your DH?

MyMonthlyNameChange · 01/06/2026 20:47

Well it sounds like he's reckless with his drinking and his diabetes probably in part because he knows big sis will pick up the pieces every time and baby him. He's an adult FFS. Where is the responsibility and accountability?

I don't blame your DH for being fuming he's had to put up with that shit on the first night of his hard-earned holiday. I'd feel the same.

Confuserr · 01/06/2026 20:47

Your DP is right

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 01/06/2026 20:47

Why the hell would you take him on holiday?! I would be furious if I was your DH, he sort of has ruined the holiday.

Tableforjoan · 01/06/2026 20:47

He isn’t wrong.

Why did you even take your brother surely this was a holiday with your dh and children.

Now your brothers gone an fucked it up on a free holiday 👏

Sparkletastic · 01/06/2026 20:46

Your DP is bang on I’d say

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 01/06/2026 20:46

Your brother is BU. As are you. He’s a poorly behaved adult and you’re enabling him. What is it you think your husband has done wrong here?

DysmalRadius · 01/06/2026 20:46

Why is your brother on holiday with you!??!

Loubissou · 01/06/2026 20:45

Your brother is the unreasonable one.
I don't blame your DP for getting annoyed that you are having to parent an adult leaving him with your actual children on his own.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 01/06/2026 20:43

He did ruin the holiday?