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Original poster

Making memory books after poor prognosis

80 replies

Memorymaker · 24/05/2026 14:36

I am looking to do some memory books for my kids age 8-12 just incase due to a poor prognosis of illness.

I am doing the usual ‘who are you mum’ but it seems so ‘light’.

I want to do something that captures our family values and the strengths I see in them already.

We are very liberal so not ‘rules’ by any means but I really want to get down to the nuts and bolts of what things inspired us as parents, what we feel a positive relationship might look like, how we are able to argue and make up etc, what we may have feared and overcome, general stuff like family motos, traditions and lovely memories about them interspersed.

We really have had a lovely life and I want them to see the love and values we poured into them so far

So my question is what else could we/should we include?

I really want them to feel what our family of 4 was like rather than just knowing my childhood nickname.

OP posts:
StrictlyCoffee · 24/05/2026 15:16

I don’t have any suggestions, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Plinketyplonks · 24/05/2026 15:13

I’m so sorry for you. There are some lovely ideas here already but maybe just start writing free flow anything goes , thoughts, doesn’t matter if jumbled up. Next day get it out and think what you want to include / exclude and write it up properly? What about some family history? Like small little nice things about your own family (parents, grandparents etc) that no one will tell them apart from you? It’s completely different but my own dad passed away last year and I’ve been making a note of his funny sayings and phrases to write down for each of their baby books where we keep special things.

icedcoffeetomyveins · 24/05/2026 15:10

I'm sorry to hear of your prognosis, and your memory book plan sounds beautiful. 💐 Every month I write my kids a note on things they've done, achieved, struggled with or little anecdotes about them and our life. I think the little things show the love more so than big grand documentation.

I also keep a list of our family traditions for each holiday, with pictures. So one day when they're grown, they'll be able to sit down and see all the Christmases we celebrated together, plus all the little traditions that made up the magic.

Original poster
Memorymaker · 24/05/2026 15:07

Thanks so much for the response. Yes I have thought about how we live as adults and decisions we have made. I want to get ideas around the balance of making time for yourself and being a mother and a woman and their birth stories etc.

I am currently printing out photos too (the main ones from 150k of them on my phone), using a service to make my Facebook posts into a book, doing 1 second everyday videos for their lives and then looking at my phone video and audio footage to make videos.

I’ve secretly recorded me putting each of them to bed along with our chats, blessings and me singing.

Its been heartbreaking but if there’s anything I could do to make this easier for them and their dad I will do it and not leave it too late

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 24/05/2026 14:56

You could do both. The I was born on, my mum was a teacher, dad a bin man type of stuff and a section on: These are the values we live by, this is who I want you be: honest loyal, open minded etc. tell them what you want them to know

Remember these books will be read and read again. Put in an envelope for when they get married or have kids...you will be talking to your future adult children not just the age they are now.

My mum died when I was 17, dad when I was 24. I wish I had been mature enough to have a few serious conversations with mum. I did with dad.

The other day I had a panic attack that I was in a room, and I couldn't see anything that my mum had known. She's been dead for 40 years this year. I reassured myself by moving something in, so every room has something she and dad knew. So these books will be cherished.

Finally, I am so sorry to hear that news, I do hope you do everything you want to. Perhaps do a video message because I find it hard at times to recall my mum's face and when I do it was from when she was ill. Also lots of photos, get them off your phone now and get them safe.. I don't have any pictures of me, mum and dad, the three of us together.