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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overreaction or?

71 replies

shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 19:37

Please bear with me. My son is 20 and going to his first "sex party" in a few weeks.
We are close and thankfully can talk about these things.
However I am very worried about him being sexually assaulted. Worst case scenario I know.
AIBU to suggest he takes a friend/ wingman or drug testing strips for his drink in case it gets spiked?
Know I'm probably worrying too much but I can't help it 😔

OP posts:
Beekman · 20/09/2026 03:42

Is it a sex party or a relatively tame LGBTQ+ social organised by the college society?

The world is waiting to hear…

Mirsine · 20/09/2026 01:06

Well thanks to @LostAlice this 4 month old thread popped up on the recents.

@shellyleppard any update OP? How did your sons first sex party go? Assuming he gave you a debrief.

LostAlice · 20/09/2026 00:57

shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 19:37

Please bear with me. My son is 20 and going to his first "sex party" in a few weeks.
We are close and thankfully can talk about these things.
However I am very worried about him being sexually assaulted. Worst case scenario I know.
AIBU to suggest he takes a friend/ wingman or drug testing strips for his drink in case it gets spiked?
Know I'm probably worrying too much but I can't help it 😔

gay? maybe prep pills etc...they usually have 'guards' checking on people

Arlanymor · 17/05/2026 07:45

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/05/2026 19:47

😲 just googled it.

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I used to work with sexual health services in central London.

Ilovecoffeeme · 16/05/2026 21:14

Whataflippincircus · 16/05/2026 19:39

WTF is a sex party? Am I out of touch?

I wonder that too. I never thought I led a sheltered life until I read that!

Whataflippincircus · 16/05/2026 21:10

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 16/05/2026 20:42

How can people possibly think that PennySweet was serious? Dear god. What is going on?

This is Mumsnet. I’ve frequently read far more outrageous stuff on here,

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 21:07

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 21:02

bit belated, but yeah, thanks for that, and yes I do feel stupid 😳

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Ahh don't.

It's all fun and games Flowers

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 21:02

ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 20:21

...

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bit belated, but yeah, thanks for that, and yes I do feel stupid 😳

SiberFox · 16/05/2026 20:52

Wow. As a 40yo I shared very little of my personal life with my parents and I wish there was room for more, but this.. I know in some circles not having any secrets from your mum and being best mates etc is the golden standard of parenting but isn’t this just as extreme..? Consulting mumsnet on your 20yo’s sex party, choosing condoms together next

blythet · 16/05/2026 20:51

An LGBTQ+ social event arranged by the college doesn’t really sound like a sex party to me.

Did your son call it an LGTBQ social event and you’ve jumped to the conclusion it’s a sex party? Or did he actually tell you it was a sex party organised by this group?

presumably he’s already friends with members of that community if he’s been invited so he will already have people he knows with him?

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 16/05/2026 20:49

Butterme · 16/05/2026 20:42

I’m not there yet but looking forward to posting the ‘my babies first sex party’ pics all over Facebook ❤️❤️

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It's a momentous occasion in every family.

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:48

Butterme · 16/05/2026 20:42

I’m not there yet but looking forward to posting the ‘my babies first sex party’ pics all over Facebook ❤️❤️

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If your house is big enough, perhaps you could host it?

Condoms can make great party bags.

You could fill them with fluffy handcuffs and lube, as long as it's eco friendly and nothing goes to landfill ♥

Butterme · 16/05/2026 20:42

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:03

Aww bless, your little boy's growing up OP.

There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20.

All part of being a parent Flowers

I’m not there yet but looking forward to posting the ‘my babies first sex party’ pics all over Facebook ❤️❤️

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 16/05/2026 20:42

How can people possibly think that PennySweet was serious? Dear god. What is going on?

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:41

Whataflippincircus · 16/05/2026 20:38

I thought you were serious.

Edited
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I really despair sometimes lol.

Think I'll open a bottle of wine instead Wine

Whataflippincircus · 16/05/2026 20:38

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:03

Aww bless, your little boy's growing up OP.

There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20.

All part of being a parent Flowers

I thought you were serious.

TY78910 · 16/05/2026 20:35

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/05/2026 20:22

I hope I’m still close to my boys when they grow up… Just not this close…

Yep, same.

Although if OP said her DD was going and not DS I feel like I’d be seeing a lot of angry do not allow her to go X Y and Z will happen. Instead there are a lot of jokes flying around.

OP, I have no idea what links there are between college organised, sex parties and I know they exist and can be fine between consenting people but at 20 I’d be worried about the inexperience and lack of boundaries. I think you need to ask a few more questions…

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:29

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:26

Thank you for clarifying. 😔

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No worries.

I kind of feel I'm missing out on all these sex parties now 🤭🤣

Original poster
shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 20:27

@NeedyLimeMember hence my suggestion of a wingman/ wing person

OP posts:
Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:26

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:22

It means yes of course I was being facetious.

Do you honestly think these words are true? 😬

"There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20."

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Thank you for clarifying. 😔

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/05/2026 20:22

I hope I’m still close to my boys when they grow up… Just not this close…

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:22

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

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It means yes of course I was being facetious.

Do you honestly think these words are true? 😬

"There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20."

ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 20:21

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

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...

hall of fame game missed the point GIF
ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 20:20

Yes righto all normal here

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:11

Oh dear lol.

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what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

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