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Original poster

AIBU to resent DH constantly complaining about tiredness since DD was born

58 replies

Weareallreallytired · 09/05/2026 12:16

Before I start moaning, I just have to caveat by saying I know my DH works long hours and has a very stressful job. But I am honestly sick to the back teeth of him moaning about how tired he is since our DD was born 18 months ago.

From the day we left the hospital it was been constant. He moved into the spare room when she was 4 days old. She sleeps through the night now but I did every single night feed as I was breast feeding even when I had a sick bug and had to crawl into her room. I get up with her every morning even when we were on holiday, I didn’t get 1 lie in as he was soooo exhausted from work. The baby monitor disturbs him. It’s just endless moaning.

He does work long hours and there is a lot of evening events he has to attend whilst I’m a SAHM so I do totally understand that he needs to catch up on sleep but I’m sooo fed up of being up at the crack of dawn with DD whilst DH ‘snoozes’ upstairs and then having to listen to him whinge about how tired he is.

I’ve suggested he go back in the spare room, wear ear plugs, have white noise on etc but apparently he is still being disturbed.

I’ve tried so hard not to go down the competitive tiredness route but I’m just feeling livid today after a 5am start with DD and no appreciation from DH that I might be tired too!!!

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 09/05/2026 12:26

Have you told him all this?

Heronwatcher · 09/05/2026 12:25

Have you said this to him? “Look DH you might not realise this but you’ve done nothing but conplain about being tired recently. Can you either go to the doctor or keep it to yourself as it’s winding me up, especially since you get much more sleep than me?”

Also he should 💯 be doing one of the weekend wake ups, no argument. If he’s tired anyway it won’t make any difference will it?

Tooearlyjigsaw · 09/05/2026 12:22

I think he needs to visit GP and get bloods done.

Trallers · 09/05/2026 12:22

Assuming he's in good health he sounds very self-absorbed. He's allowed to be tired as it probably slightly disruptive having the baby crying in the room over. But you're doing it all and must be utterly exhausted and he's not even finding a moment to acknowledge that or give you an occasional lie-in?!

Credittocress · 09/05/2026 12:22

A friend of mine shared these with me. I think she got them from her baby group. They might be worth sharing with him and talking through. You seem to “get” your partners day an and stresses. Him not so much. It doesn’t sound like you want him to do more- just be understanding. I get your frustration 💐

AIBU to resent DH constantly complaining about tiredness since DD was born
AIBU to resent DH constantly complaining about tiredness since DD was born
LivingDeadGirlUK · 09/05/2026 12:20

Yeah that would drive me insane OP, tell him very firmly to knock it off, also he needs to be sharing the weekend lie ins, if anything it will make him appreciate what you are doing more. Breastfeeding isn't an excuse, he gets up, brings baby to you to feed in bed, then takes baby away after and starts the day like you do 6 days a week.

I don't care what anyone says, looking after a baby is harder than working a job, especially if its a desk job.

Bitzee · 09/05/2026 12:20

Either he’s absolutely taking the piss and is a useless partner or he needs a trip to the GP because that level of tiredness isn’t normal.

PygmyOwl · 09/05/2026 12:17

YANBU and this would drive me mad.