AIBU to resent DH constantly complaining about tiredness since DD was born

He's choosing not to listen.

what does that actually mean?

You repeatedly stress his very long hours and evening work. What kind of hours are we talking here? How many days a week? Self employed?

Does he really have to do all those evening events? If so suggest he gets a new job with more family friendly hours or talk to work about reducing his hours. I don't have much time for people in jobs that take the piss who moan they are tired but don't do anything to address it.

And yes suggest he goes to get checked by the GP.

You having no lie in in 18 months isn't reasonable. Can't he go to bed early one night ready for getting up with your child the next morning?

This 100%

He needs to fucking grow up and step up!

You both sound terrible. I’m not sure why he hasn’t helped out more, especially in mornings (I would never get away with not doing at least one morning) but also he sounds like he is exhausted and probably needs to go to the doctor, maybe check out his iron levels or long Covid?

Men are usually solution based. Ask him what he thinks the solution is.

OP, he's unreasonable or ill. If he's ill, he needs to go get a blood test to check low levels of iron and b12 to start with.

But either way, he has to stop moaning. Living with someone constantly moaning is just draining and takes the joy out of the world. I suspect he didn't really want the reality of children either, if the complaining started as soon as you left hospital. Quite sad and I hope the child doesn't grow up in this negativity.

You never heard this expression before?
Makes me sad some of these old expressions are dying out!

I suspect it means 'doesn't make the slightest bit of difference'.

There's no appreciation from him because he's never had to do it.

Plenty of women go back to work after having a child, still doing night wakenings and then go to work. They get on with it.

When I was on maternity leave, we shared the weekends, so each got a lie it. It's fair. You should discuss doing this, nothing will change until he actually starts parenting.

what does “falls on deaf ears” look like?

Whatever you do, do not have any more kids with this man. He's either ill or lazy.

Ask him how he is going to manage his parenting arrangements after you've divorced him?

It seems he has just checked out of parenting ? I would be raging. And making plans to move on without this manchild.

Did he want a baby OP? Was he fully on board with the decision?

What a loser. Do not have another child with this selfish waster.

No.

When he complains next time tell him you dont give a flying fuck that hes tired. He's a selfish self absorbed manchild. He has a child. He isn't working 7 days a week, he isnt the first person in the world to have a child, he is doing nothing to help the household, he has a child; he should be doing some parental duties and at least one of the days off he should be letting you get some rest as well rather than moaning his arse every time he is disturbed. No shit he's disturbed; THERES A CHILD they tend to disturb a household.

Pull himself together and stop fucking moaning. Its seriously ick when someone just moans for 18 months solid.

When you say it's fallen on deaf ears, what exactly happens?

I agree with others that if he genuinely is this tired when there's nothing very tiring in his life, then he needs to see the GP urgently.

Does he acknowledge that he sounds like someone seriously ill? Or does he think it's all to do with having a toddler in his life (and a toddler who hasn't meaningfully disrupted any of that life, by the sounds)?

Do you have any couple friends with babies who could give him a dose of reality?

I know a couple of people who were a bit like this when their children were babies, and unfortunately, it is not a good predictor of a long relationship.

He doesn’t like you. Split up and give him 50/50

give him a kick up the bum lazy sod. bout time he pulled his finger out and helped you. so he works long hours well what does he think you do

This would give me the ick, sorry but he sounds pathetic and almost like he pre - emptivley decided to say this every day since birth so you can't be the tired one and need him to step up, it would feel manipulative to me.

Another one saying he needs to get his bloods done.

If they turn out fine, you two need to sit down and have a serious chat.

And you need to seriously reconsider any future babies you may have planned.

Agree with pp he needs to see a gp

I don't understand why you wouldn't communicate any of this to him?