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In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

666 replies

saminamama · 05/05/2026 19:06

a month ago today DH was told he may be made ‘redundant’, he was essentially sacked with a months notice and he signed a settlement agreement with enough money to keep us afloat for 2 months, after the end of this month.

It took him 2 weeks from finding out he was being made redundant to apply for his first role. Since then he hasn’t secured any interviews, and he’s had lots of ‘chats’ with so and so, but nothing material has happened.

I feel like he is way to slow when applying for jobs, and it’s not going quick enough and by now he should have a few interviews.

Posting as I’m really looking for a consensus as to if what I am feeling is valid, as I feel like I’m at the end of my tether. I darent ask him a question or distract him from anything as he takes so long to do.. anything.

im worried about our mortgage, I work but my salary only just covers the mortgage,

really lost and feeling resentful as it feels like he’s not pushing hard enough,

he’s a great dad and a loving husband most of the time.

looking for positive stories and advice as to how I get through this time.

im feeling so worried it’s affecting my sleep and I’ve been avoiding some of my friends, I don’t often feel in the mood to be around others who are sorted and settled when we are in this boat.

im carrying all the housework and childcare drop offs and pick ups so he has no excuse for not sitting and applying for roles, but feels quite futile to be honest, doing all the washing and cleaning.
if he is so slow and easily distracted/harassed and can’t cope no wonder he was sacked, awful thing to say but I’m wondering if it’s true

OP posts:
jdb9803 · 23/06/2026 19:29

saminamama · 23/06/2026 19:05

Positives are he had a final stage interview today, and we will hear next week, after this I don’t feel hopeful,
he also has a first stage on Friday,
and more roles to apply for too, so back to the drawing board something will happen
but it’s so so so hard

you have to stay positive - he is actively looking and applying for jobs - the time to worry is when he stops.
To get so many interviews is not common - he must have the skills and experience employers are looking for and the law of averages says he will get one of them soon - keep supporting him

IkeaJesusChrist · 23/06/2026 19:25

I wouldn't even dream of making plans until he's actually found a job, why would you set yourself up for more disappointment?

saminamama · 23/06/2026 19:05

Positives are he had a final stage interview today, and we will hear next week, after this I don’t feel hopeful,
he also has a first stage on Friday,
and more roles to apply for too, so back to the drawing board something will happen
but it’s so so so hard

OP posts:
saminamama · 23/06/2026 19:04

Someone else with more experience got it, he had a final stage interview for 2 seperate roles at this one company it really got our hopes up, both amazing roles at a fantastic company.
to be considered for both made one feel likely, and I had started to relax and plan some exciting things to look forward to,
they called him today to say he got neither,
Absolutely gutted.
feel like it’s ruining my enjoyment of life at the moment which I know is daft
we have circa 4 months in savings to cover our life so we don’t need to panic too much right at this second
and family support financially waiting in the wings to cover a further 4 months
but we just don’t want to lose our savings to this awful time
sorry I’m wallowing my hopes were just so up, I feel so sad

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 23/06/2026 18:59

saminamama · 23/06/2026 18:58

Didn’t get it. Gutted and scared

Oh no, and how horrible to wait on tenterhooks. Did they say why?

saminamama · 23/06/2026 18:58

Didn’t get it. Gutted and scared

OP posts:
BlackRowan · 20/06/2026 20:14

Snorerephron · 20/06/2026 07:21

I disagree. I would have asked someone to call round all the candidates if our decision was delayed

I can't imagine being so disrespectful as to just not let someone know they hadn't got the job after they have gone through an interview process

(I hope your DH is successful though @saminamama Smile)

You are confusing letting them know they didn’t get the job and letting them know proactively there is a delay

IDontHateRainbows · 20/06/2026 13:18

Snorerephron · 20/06/2026 07:21

I disagree. I would have asked someone to call round all the candidates if our decision was delayed

I can't imagine being so disrespectful as to just not let someone know they hadn't got the job after they have gone through an interview process

(I hope your DH is successful though @saminamama Smile)

Happens all the time. Disgusting, but becoming rather normalized.

Snorerephron · 20/06/2026 07:21

BlackRowan · 20/06/2026 02:39

That’s actually somewhat positive. Either he is their top candidate or he is their second choice and they are waiting if first candidate accepts the offer.

if they are not interested they wouldn’t call

I disagree. I would have asked someone to call round all the candidates if our decision was delayed

I can't imagine being so disrespectful as to just not let someone know they hadn't got the job after they have gone through an interview process

(I hope your DH is successful though @saminamama Smile)

BlackRowan · 20/06/2026 02:39

That’s actually somewhat positive. Either he is their top candidate or he is their second choice and they are waiting if first candidate accepts the offer.

if they are not interested they wouldn’t call

Sagedragon · 19/06/2026 23:18

saminamama · 19/06/2026 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

That sounds positive that they called him to let him know that things are still happening.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 19/06/2026 22:21

SunnyRedSnail · 19/06/2026 21:31

That sounds like a "sorry you didn't get the job" call. Or the job isn't actually available.

He needs to up his searches!!

I don’t think it sounds like that. It sounds like they haven’t managed to align agendas between all of the people who need to discuss.

saminamama · 19/06/2026 21:40

No the funding is available they said it would be Monday he will hear, he just filled me in a bit more.
we are thinking maybe he has it, as the guy who called him spoke about how long is own experience was when he was hired and it can take a while

OP posts:
SunnyRedSnail · 19/06/2026 21:31

saminamama · 19/06/2026 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

That sounds like a "sorry you didn't get the job" call. Or the job isn't actually available.

He needs to up his searches!!

Watdidusay · 19/06/2026 19:48

saminamama · 19/06/2026 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

What does this mean? Because I've heard a lot of cases where candidates got through final round only to be told funding for the role was not approved at all.

saminamama · 19/06/2026 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 19/06/2026 16:41

BountifulPantry · 19/06/2026 14:55

Probation is meaningless in the UK- employees have rights after 6 months. Before that your employer can effectively dismiss you without reason.

used to be 2 year btw- labour just reduced it to 6 months.

It's more an emotional rubber stamping by managers than anything legal now, as after 6 months there is no difference legally. But managers like to do the 'yes you're ok pat on the back' thing as part of an on boarding/ induction and show Big Boss that they picked a good un.

fishonabicycle · 19/06/2026 15:36

Hello OP - hope you have had good news x

BountifulPantry · 19/06/2026 14:55

Daisymail · 03/06/2026 17:33

Absolutely this. Passing probation is not a given. I'd be using that time to save as much as possible, just in case.

Probation is meaningless in the UK- employees have rights after 6 months. Before that your employer can effectively dismiss you without reason.

used to be 2 year btw- labour just reduced it to 6 months.

Snorerephron · 18/06/2026 19:45

saminamama · 18/06/2026 19:35

Still nothing, 4 days have passed since one final stage interview and no offer has come through,
feeling very low and not very hopeful today

So sorry, the wait is horrible isn't it
That said, sometimes I have been so busy at work that even though I want to make a decision swiftly it has taken me a week or more to get all the panel back in the room to discuss.
Hopefully you hear something positive soon

saminamama · 18/06/2026 19:35

Still nothing, 4 days have passed since one final stage interview and no offer has come through,
feeling very low and not very hopeful today

OP posts:
Daisymail · 03/06/2026 17:33

AirborneElephant · 01/06/2026 18:18

Good luck to your husband 🤞. But you’ve just had a financial wake-up call, you have really low savings and significant debt, and your first reaction to him getting a job will be to fritter money away on unnecessary rubbish? I’m surprised you don’t at least want to build up a 12 month buffer first for the next time?

Absolutely this. Passing probation is not a given. I'd be using that time to save as much as possible, just in case.

Apprentice26 · 03/06/2026 15:53

saminamama · 03/06/2026 14:12

What I’m saying is more about the spirit of it, ie I can relax and breathe and enjoy and not have to watch every penny and feel guilty for buying strawberries and the next shelf up tomatoes for example

And we are saying not yet

saminamama · 03/06/2026 14:12

What I’m saying is more about the spirit of it, ie I can relax and breathe and enjoy and not have to watch every penny and feel guilty for buying strawberries and the next shelf up tomatoes for example

OP posts:
Liveafr · 03/06/2026 12:51

AirborneElephant · 01/06/2026 18:18

Good luck to your husband 🤞. But you’ve just had a financial wake-up call, you have really low savings and significant debt, and your first reaction to him getting a job will be to fritter money away on unnecessary rubbish? I’m surprised you don’t at least want to build up a 12 month buffer first for the next time?

I have to agree with you. Even if OP'husband gets the job (which I hope), he still will have a probationary period. In that situation I would keep my spendings low until the end of that probationary period at least.